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willwork4airfare's review
4.0
Good and important, just really repetitive. Would’ve been better in smaller chunks over a longer period of time. I really appreciated the ones that were a break in the structure like the comic and interview.
mayagb37's review
4.0
A great book with something for everyone. I loved how varied the essays are. Even if I didn't find all of them to be as profound or interesting, this book made me think in new ways, and that is one of the ways I mark a phenomenal read.
pandorasxbox's review against another edition
5.0
This was a beautiful book of essays. Many resonated with me on a deep level, pulling me into their world. Many gave me a new perspective, adding nuance to my understanding of the issues discussed rather than a rehash of information I'm already familiar with. Some didn't quite manage to pull me in, but that's okay - they are bound to resonate with someone else, and I listened to what they had to offer.
Some of the essays that stood out to me in particular include:
Gossip Is an English Word by Sarah Deer and Bonnie Clairmont, about the power of truth telling in the face of sexual violence, particularly in Native American communities)
The Room Where It Happened by Dahlia Lithwick (about Christine Blasey Ford's testimony, about the role that bystanders play)
He's Unmarked, She's Marked by Julia Serrano (about our unconcious bias, based in linguist theory, around the things that seem normal/right are seen as unmarked, while those that are atypical/unexpected capture our attention)
Do Not Pet by Anuradha Bhagwati (about not being believed about invisible disabilities, stemming from sexual violence)
Reproductive Justice by Cherise Scott (about how reproductive justice can fit within a spiritual context)
Some of the essays that stood out to me in particular include:
Gossip Is an English Word by Sarah Deer and Bonnie Clairmont, about the power of truth telling in the face of sexual violence, particularly in Native American communities)
The Room Where It Happened by Dahlia Lithwick (about Christine Blasey Ford's testimony, about the role that bystanders play)
He's Unmarked, She's Marked by Julia Serrano (about our unconcious bias, based in linguist theory, around the things that seem normal/right are seen as unmarked, while those that are atypical/unexpected capture our attention)
Do Not Pet by Anuradha Bhagwati (about not being believed about invisible disabilities, stemming from sexual violence)
Reproductive Justice by Cherise Scott (about how reproductive justice can fit within a spiritual context)
caitlyn888's review
4.0
It took me four months to finally finish this book. Not because I thought it wasn't good, but because these essays were so powerful and personal that sometimes it became too much to keep going without a break. Sexual assault, rape, workplace harassment, sexism, and racism are heavy topics, but each of these writers leads a fearless charge to protect women from violence and show how the world needs to start believing their stories if we ever want to see true systemic change in our justice system, workplace, schools, and homes. This is also very timely reading for the #MeToo Movement and the Black Lives Matter Movement.
christyyy's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Sexual harassment, Emotional abuse, Rape, Sexual violence, and Domestic abuse
rachelg8489's review against another edition
5.0
Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti's earlier anthology, Yes Means Yes, was one of those books that I encountered at the right moment for it to be absolutely formative to my feminist awakening. A decade later (and an internship for and later friendship with Jaclyn), Believe Me made me think about similar topics in new and exciting ways, and I'm brought back to my college-age self, holed up in her dorm room reading those earlier essays. I especially recommend the essays from Moira Donegan and Sady Doyle, but they're all fantastic, and we're all lucky to have this anthology in 2020.
hnagle15's review
"People are, and must be, more than their lowest moments. But beyond that they must also be empowered to interpret what had happened to them."
This was really well done. I thoroughly enjoyed the essays within this collection and am grateful to the authors for sharing their experiences.
wombatjenni's review
5.0
Believe Me is an intense read. All of its essays, written by a wide variety of authors, illustrate issues that touch everyone when we don't trust women, from advancements in health care to the pipeline from domestic abuse/sexual harassment to school shootings. Much of it is sad in hindsight: we can look back at reports and political movements by women, and go, "oh, I guess they were right back then..." It's an investigation into what it means to be believed, and who gets to be believed, in the United States particularly. As much as there is a backlash against "cancel culture," one of the authors reminds us that it took over 80 women until anyone took accusations against Harvey Weinstein seriously enough, whereas his word against the women was enough for a long time.
What I found remarkable was how such a short book has all these essays civilly debate among each other: as an example, one author addresses the issue of how white men are often voted in to leadership roles in anti-harassment and anti-rape organization, and the well-intentioned approaches often focus not on preventing harassment or rape by incentivizing good bystander ("see something, say something") behavior and building a safe environment, instead focusing on how the victim can more easily report issues after the fact. This essay is followed by a man writing about his experiences doing anti-sexual-harassment work, and how it absolutely sucks that often, the only way to make people believe women is to have a white man say the same thing.
Likewise, the book contains criticism of white feminism, which often forgets to take into account dangerous sexism combined with racism that Black women face, such as that resulting in devastating numbers of Black women not being treated appropriately by doctors - studies show, that medical professionals believe (note: believe, not "have evidence of") that Black women can handle pain better than White women, and that they also exaggerate their symptoms more. This is a deadly combination. Samantha Irby's essay on finally getting diagnosed with Crohn's disease is both heartbreaking and in her usual style, humorous: Irby, with no history of drug abuse, was asked by her doctor whether she was just exaggerating her symptoms to get pain killers, only to sheepishly attend to her once the MRI showed that she truly had a problem.
A very illuminating, engaging read.
What I found remarkable was how such a short book has all these essays civilly debate among each other: as an example, one author addresses the issue of how white men are often voted in to leadership roles in anti-harassment and anti-rape organization, and the well-intentioned approaches often focus not on preventing harassment or rape by incentivizing good bystander ("see something, say something") behavior and building a safe environment, instead focusing on how the victim can more easily report issues after the fact. This essay is followed by a man writing about his experiences doing anti-sexual-harassment work, and how it absolutely sucks that often, the only way to make people believe women is to have a white man say the same thing.
Likewise, the book contains criticism of white feminism, which often forgets to take into account dangerous sexism combined with racism that Black women face, such as that resulting in devastating numbers of Black women not being treated appropriately by doctors - studies show, that medical professionals believe (note: believe, not "have evidence of") that Black women can handle pain better than White women, and that they also exaggerate their symptoms more. This is a deadly combination. Samantha Irby's essay on finally getting diagnosed with Crohn's disease is both heartbreaking and in her usual style, humorous: Irby, with no history of drug abuse, was asked by her doctor whether she was just exaggerating her symptoms to get pain killers, only to sheepishly attend to her once the MRI showed that she truly had a problem.
A very illuminating, engaging read.