Scan barcode
marleah_a's review against another edition
4.0
I learned that I'm actually more mindful than I knew. I worked as a paraeducator in a special ed classroom for a year and learned the skills of patience, compassion, and understanding before I became a parent. I think that experience has been indispensable now that I'm dealing with a toddler at home. A lot of what the authors call mindfulness in this book involve listening to your child, understanding the root issue, being patient, and being present in the moment.
I do need to work on being present in the moment. Luckily, this book offers many mindfulness exercises to help you do so. The authors' writing style is approachable and makes mindfulness seem possible for everyone. It's also broken into small sections so it's easy to grab some reading time during naps or just between running after your kiddo.
The book did reaffirm that I am doing a lot of things right; however, the book also provides hands-on tips for areas that need improvement.
I do need to work on being present in the moment. Luckily, this book offers many mindfulness exercises to help you do so. The authors' writing style is approachable and makes mindfulness seem possible for everyone. It's also broken into small sections so it's easy to grab some reading time during naps or just between running after your kiddo.
The book did reaffirm that I am doing a lot of things right; however, the book also provides hands-on tips for areas that need improvement.
labyrinth_witch's review against another edition
3.0
Mindful discipline outlines the difference between permissive, assertive, and authoritarian parenting styles with prolific examples to illustrate how the different approaches play out on real life. The intention of the book is to encourage parents to take an assertive approach to discipline and subsequently explores the assumptions and worldview underpinning this style.
With an emphasis on growing yourself up before raising a child, the book offers helpful mindfulness practices with each chapter.
However, this book is written more academically than other books and can be difficult to get through. I would recommend exploring conscious discipline literature or Brene Brown’s work for more accessible and memorable exploration of the same concepts.
With an emphasis on growing yourself up before raising a child, the book offers helpful mindfulness practices with each chapter.
However, this book is written more academically than other books and can be difficult to get through. I would recommend exploring conscious discipline literature or Brene Brown’s work for more accessible and memorable exploration of the same concepts.
nghia's review against another edition
2.0
I didn't realise this -- the title should have been a big clue but I guess I was oblivious -- but this is a parenting guide with "mindfulness" at its heart. That is, the modern secular not-quite-Buddhist practice of "mindfulness". An awful lot of the book is repeating stuff Rick Hanson's [b:Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom|6796675|Buddha's Brain The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom|Rick Hanson|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1344907492l/6796675._SX50_.jpg|7001984], which I have actually read, meaning a ton of stuff was very boring and skippable for me.
The mindfulness aspect really just means something like, take a deep breath and calm down before dealing with your kid.
Overall I found this way too theoretical to be especially useful. After a very long Part 1, which is basically Yet Another Introduction to Mindfulness, you get to the core of the book. The Five Essential Elements of Mindful Discipline: unconditional love, space, mentorship, healthy boundaries, and mis-takes.
There are occasional nice nuggets of actionable, practical advice. But far too often we get stuff like:
Or
Or
Uh, okay. I think everyone -- at least everyone who is likely to pick up this book -- knows parenting is often about balancing between two things. But what's the right balance? All too often in this scenarios the book basically falls back on "use you intuition and judgment". Okay, sure, but that's what I was doing before I picked up this book. Why am I even reading you?
Likewise we are told
But what's an "adequate" boundary? What's too much?
It doesn't help that for each of the five pillars the chapters are, actually, quite brief and include something along the lines of "The adaptive process deserves an entire book of its own, but we will try to briefly outline the key steps here". Maybe I should read those 5 other books on the 5 pillars instead of this Cliff's Notes version?
By the time I got to the end of this, I struggled to see what was really different between the parenting advice in this book and the parenting advice in, say, [b:Positive Discipline|188497|Positive Discipline|Jane Nelsen|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1630656833l/188497._SY75_.jpg|182210]. Except with some extra doses of "mindfulness". The mindfulness stuff isn't bad, exactly. Having a few mindfulness practices to calm down in the heat of the moment parenting is a good idea. I'm less sold (as I was when I read Buddha's Brain) on the various attempts to tie mindfulness to brain science. But overall, if you're already familiar with mindfulness, then a lot of this is needless restatements and you're left with an extremely brief book that really just gives you some philosophy of parenting ideas that, honestly, are probably already pretty close to how you want to be parenting anyway.
The mindfulness aspect really just means something like, take a deep breath and calm down before dealing with your kid.
Overall I found this way too theoretical to be especially useful. After a very long Part 1, which is basically Yet Another Introduction to Mindfulness, you get to the core of the book. The Five Essential Elements of Mindful Discipline: unconditional love, space, mentorship, healthy boundaries, and mis-takes.
There are occasional nice nuggets of actionable, practical advice. But far too often we get stuff like:
As parents, we need to find our way in the dance between giving him autonomy and helping him develop a healthy respect for authority [...] The dance is to feel which is needed in any given moment while remaining the ultimate authority.
Or
Sometimes it is good for children to learn things on their own (space); other times it is helpful to have some guidance (mentorship).
Or
When we become mindful parents, we will know when to intervene in a helpful way and when to sit back and let things take their course.
Uh, okay. I think everyone -- at least everyone who is likely to pick up this book -- knows parenting is often about balancing between two things. But what's the right balance? All too often in this scenarios the book basically falls back on "use you intuition and judgment". Okay, sure, but that's what I was doing before I picked up this book. Why am I even reading you?
Likewise we are told
Diana Baumrind’s research found that children who grow up in homes without adequate boundaries had less impulse control and poorer self-regulation
But what's an "adequate" boundary? What's too much?
It doesn't help that for each of the five pillars the chapters are, actually, quite brief and include something along the lines of "The adaptive process deserves an entire book of its own, but we will try to briefly outline the key steps here". Maybe I should read those 5 other books on the 5 pillars instead of this Cliff's Notes version?
By the time I got to the end of this, I struggled to see what was really different between the parenting advice in this book and the parenting advice in, say, [b:Positive Discipline|188497|Positive Discipline|Jane Nelsen|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1630656833l/188497._SY75_.jpg|182210]. Except with some extra doses of "mindfulness". The mindfulness stuff isn't bad, exactly. Having a few mindfulness practices to calm down in the heat of the moment parenting is a good idea. I'm less sold (as I was when I read Buddha's Brain) on the various attempts to tie mindfulness to brain science. But overall, if you're already familiar with mindfulness, then a lot of this is needless restatements and you're left with an extremely brief book that really just gives you some philosophy of parenting ideas that, honestly, are probably already pretty close to how you want to be parenting anyway.
rguico's review against another edition
3.0
Mindful Discipline is a parenting book that is a research-backed psychology lesson for the first half, and a pragmatic model that builds atop this foundation for the second half, glued together by a whole bunch of far-eastern mysticism.
This is a unique combination, to say the least.
Nonetheless there is a whole bunch of information packed within its pages, enough that you really ought to take notes. If I had to distill it to an idea, though, the book advocates for a fundamental paradox when it comes to raising children: being 100% attuned to your child's heart and needs while also intentionally placing space between your child's actions and your reactions.
I own a 2 1/2 year old; this is no small task. Doing this with more than one child never comes up in the book...
Two examples in support of this main idea: firstly, the book describes three levels of consciousness when it comes to raising our children. Reactive, in which we are a step behind our kids and getting frustrated. Responsive, in which we are better able to anticipate and meet needs, overcoming what your kid wants because it's in their best interest.
And... intuitive. Which I guess can be best described as a whole-body, spirit-encompassing, transcendental knowing-your-place-in-the-world-while-surpassing-the-world state of being with your child.
The second example is littered throughout the book in the form of various meditations. At various times the reader is encouraged to feel the heart of their child, become fully aware of their body, to repeat phrases that encourage and reinforce thoughts of lovingkindness, etc. This is the part where you practice intentionally putting space between you and your child while practicing how to control your own awareness and reactions.
I confess that I think I am pretty damn good at maintaining a healthy sense of objective nonattachment from my child when necessary, so I didn't do a single exercise. Nonetheless I'm sure these are good concepts for the more frazzled among us.
The pragmatic chapters are worth a read, and as a Christian I particularly liked the one about unconditional love being the foremost of the essential components of mindful discipline. The remaining chapters have some good advice regarding setting boundaries, handling mis-takes, growing your child-seed, and so on, and despite the odd terminology I recommend a close read of those chapters.
Sometimes the authors go full-Tao (fuller than they already do, I mean) and suggest things like intentionally putting space between your child's success (i.e. building a block tower) and your praise, so that they don't do things just to earn your praise. I think you could have seen my eyes roll all the way from San Francisco.
Still I support some pretty key ideas in this book (nonattachment, being objective, leaving room to grow, gentle guidance, letting go of the need to control). I'm glad they don't pin you down to a single parenting what-to-do-when-your-child-misbehaves list, which seems like a surefire way to get parents to panic when they can't get a handle of their kids. For that reason I would recommend this book. Just know what you're getting into.
This is a unique combination, to say the least.
Nonetheless there is a whole bunch of information packed within its pages, enough that you really ought to take notes. If I had to distill it to an idea, though, the book advocates for a fundamental paradox when it comes to raising children: being 100% attuned to your child's heart and needs while also intentionally placing space between your child's actions and your reactions.
I own a 2 1/2 year old; this is no small task. Doing this with more than one child never comes up in the book...
Two examples in support of this main idea: firstly, the book describes three levels of consciousness when it comes to raising our children. Reactive, in which we are a step behind our kids and getting frustrated. Responsive, in which we are better able to anticipate and meet needs, overcoming what your kid wants because it's in their best interest.
And... intuitive. Which I guess can be best described as a whole-body, spirit-encompassing, transcendental knowing-your-place-in-the-world-while-surpassing-the-world state of being with your child.
The second example is littered throughout the book in the form of various meditations. At various times the reader is encouraged to feel the heart of their child, become fully aware of their body, to repeat phrases that encourage and reinforce thoughts of lovingkindness, etc. This is the part where you practice intentionally putting space between you and your child while practicing how to control your own awareness and reactions.
I confess that I think I am pretty damn good at maintaining a healthy sense of objective nonattachment from my child when necessary, so I didn't do a single exercise. Nonetheless I'm sure these are good concepts for the more frazzled among us.
The pragmatic chapters are worth a read, and as a Christian I particularly liked the one about unconditional love being the foremost of the essential components of mindful discipline. The remaining chapters have some good advice regarding setting boundaries, handling mis-takes, growing your child-seed, and so on, and despite the odd terminology I recommend a close read of those chapters.
Sometimes the authors go full-Tao (fuller than they already do, I mean) and suggest things like intentionally putting space between your child's success (i.e. building a block tower) and your praise, so that they don't do things just to earn your praise. I think you could have seen my eyes roll all the way from San Francisco.
Still I support some pretty key ideas in this book (nonattachment, being objective, leaving room to grow, gentle guidance, letting go of the need to control). I'm glad they don't pin you down to a single parenting what-to-do-when-your-child-misbehaves list, which seems like a surefire way to get parents to panic when they can't get a handle of their kids. For that reason I would recommend this book. Just know what you're getting into.
coldinaugust's review against another edition
4.0
Read 2 years ago, reread now that it's more applicable, will keep reading & hopefully some sinks in.
alegriafury's review against another edition
5.0
loved this book and will be re-reading my highlighted sections often.
library_brandy's review against another edition
3.0
Via NetGalley.
Not a bad book, but dauntingly long. Admittedly my impatience with Mindfulness is my own issue and not a fault of this book, but I get the basic ideas of what they're saying. It's about slowing your own reactions, taking a moment to breathe and BE in the moment and practice mindfulness--then apply it to parenting.
One I'll poke at on my ipod until it expires off the Kindle app, but not an easy one to read straight through.
Not a bad book, but dauntingly long. Admittedly my impatience with Mindfulness is my own issue and not a fault of this book, but I get the basic ideas of what they're saying. It's about slowing your own reactions, taking a moment to breathe and BE in the moment and practice mindfulness--then apply it to parenting.
One I'll poke at on my ipod until it expires off the Kindle app, but not an easy one to read straight through.
kimberlykmarsh's review against another edition
4.0
Overall, I thought this book was good. It had some really great ideas: realizing you have good desires for your child but also letting go of those so they don't rule your life, realizing that making mistakes can help your kid be emotionally intelligent, ways of being in the moment. My issues were it was a little too much like a yoga video at times. And it seemed like most of the advice was for as your kids get bigger, not as much for surviving toddlerhood where I am.
parksidereads's review against another edition
3.0
I always strive to use mindful discipline over punishment, yet even though I wholeheartedly believe in it it’s a concept I’ve struggled with implementing.
Like many kids of the 80s, growing up in an era where punishment was the preferred method of behavior correction relearning and overcoming my own trauma and triggers I’m constantly seeking out more information, tips, and tricks on how to implement and utilize mindful/peaceful discipline.
When going into this book I was hoping for more specific how to advice. Unfortunately, this was more theoretical, as in why and how it works, not as much how to do it or to change your behaviors.
I think this is more for those who need to be convinced about this style of parenting / discipline as it is for those that want more assistance on how to implement it.
Like many kids of the 80s, growing up in an era where punishment was the preferred method of behavior correction relearning and overcoming my own trauma and triggers I’m constantly seeking out more information, tips, and tricks on how to implement and utilize mindful/peaceful discipline.
When going into this book I was hoping for more specific how to advice. Unfortunately, this was more theoretical, as in why and how it works, not as much how to do it or to change your behaviors.
I think this is more for those who need to be convinced about this style of parenting / discipline as it is for those that want more assistance on how to implement it.
More...