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dominiquefragments's review
dark
emotional
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
watercolorstain's review
3.0
My relationship with Courtney Love and Hole is as old as my relationship with Nirvana, but much more complicated. I related to Hole with a fierceness that my love for Nirvana never reached—and yet Courtney always seemed so difficult to like. I realized many years later that my impression of her was formed exclusively on her lyrics, which I loved, and what I read about her in the media, which I didn’t much care for. It dawned on me that the public likes to crucify Courtney for the same traits that Kurt is venerated for, and that this was rooted in sexism, and her refusal to be reduced to the rockstar’s wife, and later the grieving widow. She loved Kurt (just how much is clearly apparent in these pages), but she refused to be defined through this relationship, to be nothing more than a chapter in his tragically short life. She's loud, sexual, opinionated, contradictory, aggressive—all things society teaches women not to be. People didn't like that, and you got conspiracy theories ranging from "Kurt wrote all her songs" to "she had him killed". It always boggled my mind that the same people who regard her as an unintelligent, talentless, gold-digging bimbo somehow also think her cunning enough to get away with murder. There may be plenty of justified reasons not to like Courtney, but none of them are ever what the media used in their anti-CL propaganda. The public has always loved to hate her.
I first read these “diaries” after having seen Hole live twice in the span of about half a year. It wasn’t really Hole, it was Courtney and some blokes, but the live performances were raw pain and anger, and just what I needed at the time. Their music recently started calling to me again, so I picked these back up. Above, I put diaries in quotes because this doesn’t feel like diaries in the way that Kurt’s did—they are clearly edited for public consumption, and it’s more of a collection of thoughts, lyrics, pictures, magazine cut-outs and correspondence without much context—a messy scrapbook of her life, with handwriting sometimes so rushed or carelessly jotted down that it’s almost impossible to decipher. It spans from her teens to the time shortly after her darkest, drug-consumed years.
She's deeply insightful, and while these glimpses into her inner world won't provide much in "hard facts" as far as biographical data goes, they shed a light on Courtney the person, not the character. Her thoughts, fears, hopes. Many of her choices (e.g. plastic surgery, which I always felt was against everything she stands for) will make sense after reading these pages, and break your heart. She's walked through hell many times over, yet has learned to face her demons and grieve and heal herself while the whole world loudly watched and judged—it's remarkable that she made it out the other side. An admirable hurricane of a woman.
I first read these “diaries” after having seen Hole live twice in the span of about half a year. It wasn’t really Hole, it was Courtney and some blokes, but the live performances were raw pain and anger, and just what I needed at the time. Their music recently started calling to me again, so I picked these back up. Above, I put diaries in quotes because this doesn’t feel like diaries in the way that Kurt’s did—they are clearly edited for public consumption, and it’s more of a collection of thoughts, lyrics, pictures, magazine cut-outs and correspondence without much context—a messy scrapbook of her life, with handwriting sometimes so rushed or carelessly jotted down that it’s almost impossible to decipher. It spans from her teens to the time shortly after her darkest, drug-consumed years.
She's deeply insightful, and while these glimpses into her inner world won't provide much in "hard facts" as far as biographical data goes, they shed a light on Courtney the person, not the character. Her thoughts, fears, hopes. Many of her choices (e.g. plastic surgery, which I always felt was against everything she stands for) will make sense after reading these pages, and break your heart. She's walked through hell many times over, yet has learned to face her demons and grieve and heal herself while the whole world loudly watched and judged—it's remarkable that she made it out the other side. An admirable hurricane of a woman.
jasminermelyn's review
4.0
I really, really liked it.
It's better when you listen to Hole songs. Especially Samantha.
For the poetry parts, I needed to hear Courtney's voice and get her rhythm of speech, so it really helps to listen to her.
For all my Germans out there: get the English version. the translation sucks. (That's the star off.)
It is a very intense read and it wants alls yout attention. So you should be prepared to give it. There's a lot of handwriting-printed parts which feel very personal and you can't help but feel connected and very close to CL, like a friend, and trust me, everytime she mentions Kurt I want to cry.
It's better when you listen to Hole songs. Especially Samantha.
For the poetry parts, I needed to hear Courtney's voice and get her rhythm of speech, so it really helps to listen to her.
For all my Germans out there: get the English version. the translation sucks. (That's the star off.)
It is a very intense read and it wants alls yout attention. So you should be prepared to give it. There's a lot of handwriting-printed parts which feel very personal and you can't help but feel connected and very close to CL, like a friend, and trust me, everytime she mentions Kurt I want to cry.
prosewhore's review
5.0
I've had an odd "relationship" with Courtney Love.
I used to loathe her, as an early teen I bought into all the conspiracy theories surrounding Kurt's death (because I didn't know enough about the situation, marriage, careers of these two people to make my own opinion + was young + had internalised misogyny A LOT + like a lot of people couldn't understand why someone like Kurt wasn't still alive..)
I've grown a lot since then and a couple of years ago maybe I decided to give Hole a second chance and became absolutely infatuated with Courtney.
I can see bits of myself in her while still aspire to be as great and successful as her. This woman is a force of nature, a survivor and there are few in the industry who are so ready to openly show their cracks and with so much dignity.
Of course she is a legend and a genius, and while I love Baudelaire and Poe if you ask me who my favourite poet is, she immediately comes to mind.
I received this book for my birthday and devoured it since. It's a collection of diary entries and alongside come photographs, copies of letters, postcards etc.. I've got the hardcover edition and it's a lot bigger and longer than I had imagined.
This is not a replacement for a biography. If you start reading this without knowing much about her life, while I'm sure you could still enjoy reading her words, I don't think you would quite grasp the essence of her personality. A lot is missing of course, I personally would have loved to read more about the time she spent -stripping etc- abroad with her friends as a teen. For fans however, I think this is great and helps to understand her and the way she thinks, writes etc better.
For me I'd say, it confirmed everything I already knew about her, how incredibly smart she is, how resilient and yet sensitive (in the best of ways).
We get to read about her love for her daughter, which is a part of her life she usually keeps more private (understandably).
She kept it really classy though, if you are looking for celebrity gossip, horrible details about her life, as a child, as a widow, single mum etc, it's not in there! I think both out of respect for other, herself and for privacy.
As someone that writes a lot and dabbles in poetry, I found it really interesting to see the evolution of songs, some we do know as the public, where just a few lines stuck and the feel changed completely or bits of writing jotted down at different times that got mixed together later on.. Aborted pieces. etc..
It's also a very well edited, a truly beautiful book to have on display.
Personally I think I've fallen even more in love with this wonderful lady, this is certainly a book I will go back to, I think it holds a lot of wisdom.
Edit/// TL;DR: would recommend to all fans, helps you dive a little further into her mind and work. beautifully edited.
I used to loathe her, as an early teen I bought into all the conspiracy theories surrounding Kurt's death (because I didn't know enough about the situation, marriage, careers of these two people to make my own opinion + was young + had internalised misogyny A LOT + like a lot of people couldn't understand why someone like Kurt wasn't still alive..)
I've grown a lot since then and a couple of years ago maybe I decided to give Hole a second chance and became absolutely infatuated with Courtney.
I can see bits of myself in her while still aspire to be as great and successful as her. This woman is a force of nature, a survivor and there are few in the industry who are so ready to openly show their cracks and with so much dignity.
Of course she is a legend and a genius, and while I love Baudelaire and Poe if you ask me who my favourite poet is, she immediately comes to mind.
I received this book for my birthday and devoured it since. It's a collection of diary entries and alongside come photographs, copies of letters, postcards etc.. I've got the hardcover edition and it's a lot bigger and longer than I had imagined.
This is not a replacement for a biography. If you start reading this without knowing much about her life, while I'm sure you could still enjoy reading her words, I don't think you would quite grasp the essence of her personality. A lot is missing of course, I personally would have loved to read more about the time she spent -stripping etc- abroad with her friends as a teen. For fans however, I think this is great and helps to understand her and the way she thinks, writes etc better.
For me I'd say, it confirmed everything I already knew about her, how incredibly smart she is, how resilient and yet sensitive (in the best of ways).
We get to read about her love for her daughter, which is a part of her life she usually keeps more private (understandably).
She kept it really classy though, if you are looking for celebrity gossip, horrible details about her life, as a child, as a widow, single mum etc, it's not in there! I think both out of respect for other, herself and for privacy.
As someone that writes a lot and dabbles in poetry, I found it really interesting to see the evolution of songs, some we do know as the public, where just a few lines stuck and the feel changed completely or bits of writing jotted down at different times that got mixed together later on.. Aborted pieces. etc..
It's also a very well edited, a truly beautiful book to have on display.
Personally I think I've fallen even more in love with this wonderful lady, this is certainly a book I will go back to, I think it holds a lot of wisdom.
Edit/// TL;DR: would recommend to all fans, helps you dive a little further into her mind and work. beautifully edited.
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