Reviews

Vanilla by Billy Merrell

bestdressedbookworm's review against another edition

4.0

As a story I think this was great. But the format it was written in annoyed me to tears.

wardenred's review

emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

He kisses my cheek goodbye now, as if he’s afraid of kissing my mouth.

Well, this book sure made me feel things... except not the things I want to feel.

It does a really good job of portraying aphobia and the impact it has. Hunter and Vanilla's relationship reminded me a lot about my first meandering attempts at romance as a teen, and how I constantly felt the need to justify why I'm "not ready," and how "not being ready" was the only acceptable version of "probably won't ever want this at all, thanks for asking." How much I was forced to think about sex, even if it was in terms of avoiding/delaying it, when I didn't want to think about it at all. Those parts and those memories really hit hard.

I kept waiting for this to be openly acknowledged by the narrative, and then I almost stopped waiting and honestly just skimmed big parts of the book despite the poetry being nice and all. In the end, it was like the narrative completely equalized Vanilla's experience of being subjected to aphobia with Hunter's experience of being an allosexual guy in love with an asexual guy and unable to have his needs met. And like, it sucks to be in love with someone who can't fully meet your needs, I can't argue that, but there's a difference between falling for someone with an incompatible orientation and being shamed and belittled and infantilized for who you are. There's a very big difference, and the book, I felt, pretty much fails to acknowledge it. 

It could have been a nice, poignant story, if Hunter bothered to think more and educate himself and to listen to what Vanilla was actually saying, and if there was more communication. These guys started dating in middle school, before either of them started figuring out their feelings regarding sex, and then one of them turned out to be ace; this is an interesting premise that could have turned into a very important story, if it were handled sensitively and with more understanding of asexuality from the author. Alas, it wasn't.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Deadnaming, Homophobia, and Acephobia/Arophobia

Moderate: Body shaming

manonwilms's review

emotional hopeful sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

ninareadsbooks_'s review against another edition

emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes

3.0

nenaveenstra's review

I love poetry, but the modern lyrical novels I've read so far never seem to hit the spot. This book had good poetry from time to time, but overall it was lacking. I actually had to ignore the writing style in order to continue reading. 

What's more, the story itself just made me feel very uncomfortable. The characters communicate poorly, and they are quite acephobic. That's not to say that this book is acephobic - I think I would've needed to finish this book in order to draw conclusions. What I do think, is that in this day and age, we need positive representation of people on the ace spectrum more than we need the negative side of things, no matter how accurate it may be. The people interested in this book are most likely part of the ace community and this is not a safe book for them to read. 

I'm dnf'ing this book for the above reasons and because this book was never on my TBR anyway - I was reading it for a book club and right now, that's not enough motivation for me to finish it.

serinwalker's review

emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

lanid's review against another edition

emotional hopeful reflective

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Homophobia and Acephobia/Arophobia

Minor: Body shaming and Alcohol

femke495's review against another edition

4.0

I really don’t understand the negative reviews of this book because yes there are ace-phobic characters BUT it is talked and discussed about and handled really well. So I think this is a very realistic portrayal of asexuality. Plus there is also genderqueer rep. (Which is also handled realistically and well imo)

littleelfman's review against another edition

5.0

Loved this beautiful verse novel that wonderfully explores ways of being, identity and how sex can enhance or muddy the waters. The tender realisation of asexuality and non-binary gender of different characters is lovingly captured in poetry.

olivexgreen's review against another edition

5.0

Vanilla took me a long time to start to fully enjoy. In the beginning, I couldn’t figure out why I should like the characters or how I could like them. I felt like they were flat and embodied stereotypes and nothing else. After I finished about the first 80 pages, I started to get it, I started to see there was more to the characters than their sexuality and their nicknames and the stereotypes I thought I was seeing. Once I got there, I realized I’d missed so much by not reading more into the word choices, into the line breaks.
If you’re reading it, stick with it. Give them a chance. They’re so much more than stereotypes.