Reviews tagging 'Homophobia'

Vanilla by Billy Merrell

3 reviews

wardenred's review

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emotional reflective sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

He kisses my cheek goodbye now, as if he’s afraid of kissing my mouth.

Well, this book sure made me feel things... except not the things I want to feel.

It does a really good job of portraying aphobia and the impact it has. Hunter and Vanilla's relationship reminded me a lot about my first meandering attempts at romance as a teen, and how I constantly felt the need to justify why I'm "not ready," and how "not being ready" was the only acceptable version of "probably won't ever want this at all, thanks for asking." How much I was forced to think about sex, even if it was in terms of avoiding/delaying it, when I didn't want to think about it at all. Those parts and those memories really hit hard.

I kept waiting for this to be openly acknowledged by the narrative, and then I almost stopped waiting and honestly just skimmed big parts of the book despite the poetry being nice and all. In the end, it was like the narrative completely equalized Vanilla's experience of being subjected to aphobia with Hunter's experience of being an allosexual guy in love with an asexual guy and unable to have his needs met. And like, it sucks to be in love with someone who can't fully meet your needs, I can't argue that, but there's a difference between falling for someone with an incompatible orientation and being shamed and belittled and infantilized for who you are. There's a very big difference, and the book, I felt, pretty much fails to acknowledge it. 

It could have been a nice, poignant story, if Hunter bothered to think more and educate himself and to listen to what Vanilla was actually saying, and if there was more communication. These guys started dating in middle school, before either of them started figuring out their feelings regarding sex, and then one of them turned out to be ace; this is an interesting premise that could have turned into a very important story, if it were handled sensitively and with more understanding of asexuality from the author. Alas, it wasn't.
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lanid's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.5

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bluebel's review

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emotional medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

I both love and hate this book. As an ace and queer person, I did have some problems with the way (a character's sexuality)
asexuality
was handled, namely
the author equating asexuality to being "vanilla" i.e. innocent, 'pure' and entirely nonsexual
. Additionally, after each time I read the book, I grew to resent one of the characters more and more for his treatment of his friends and partner, and how it seemed (spoiler for one character name, some vague plot, character info, and writing choices/style) 
Hunter was completely forgiven although he did next to nothing to repair his actions or properly apologise. So much of what he did was horrible, and still the other two characters (whose POVs we also read) still orbited around him and what he wanted - having no life outside of Hunter. Although readers are shown 3 POVs, it is hinted that Hunter is in control of the author's writing (nearing self-awareness) and he has major influence over how the readers can perceive both him and other characters. All of this led to Hunter being shown as influential, important, morally justified/good, whereas the others were largely just there to prop up Hunter's arc. On this, it is important to mention that Hunter has the most privilege as well (he is a cis, gay, masculine, white boy) whereas the other two have dark or brown skin, are more feminine, and belong to gender/sexual minorities. There are also incredibly few women in this book, and none of them are important to the plot.
This book was still incredibly well-written and emotional. It heavily involves the reader and draws them into the intimacy between these characters, stringing them along through conflict and sweetness and love. The imagery and symbolism can sometimes fall flat (e.g. "Vanilla"), but for the most part is stunning and will leave me rereading a page 10 times before I want to move on. I'd recommend this book to most of my queer friends, but I do warn them to read it critically and be aware of its problems (the spoilered text).
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