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Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'
Hey, Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing by Emily Lynn Paulson
20 reviews
purcellapple's review
reflective
tense
slow-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic friendship and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Bullying, Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Racism, and Alcoholism
bmpicc's review
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
3.0
My current rabbit-hole is the cult of MLM's. I do have a few reservations about this one. For instance, her new sober business makes me nervous because it has a slight MLM vibe for me. That being said, I think her heart is in the right place and what she shared was 100% relatable. It is easy to be sucked in, but beware... they pray on the weak. You may be on someone's "dirt list".
I'm not sure I know anyone at this point who has not been invited to a "party", let alone how many of us have been an active part of one. Yes, even me. I sold ********* when our son was first diagnosed with allergies because we didn't know how deep his issues went. I didn't know where to turn for safe cleaning & hygiene products. I was a new mom and an easy target. We all have a story.
I'm not sure I know anyone at this point who has not been invited to a "party", let alone how many of us have been an active part of one. Yes, even me. I sold ********* when our son was first diagnosed with allergies because we didn't know how deep his issues went. I didn't know where to turn for safe cleaning & hygiene products. I was a new mom and an easy target. We all have a story.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Addiction, Bullying, Classism, Cancer, Pandemic/Epidemic, Hate crime, Religious bigotry, Toxic friendship, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Ableism, Alcoholism, and Racism
pmhandley's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
3.5
Really enjoyable. Paulson treats herself with grace without letting herself off the hook for the harm she's done to others. In your head you're constantly thinking "well she has to get out NOW" but she sinks further in and feels trapped. Almost couldn't believe the getting a DUI in her new car, the night of her car party. I do wish the ties to white supremacy were articulated better. Not because I'm skeptical (I totally can believe MLMs uphold white supremacy and a specific image of white, Christian womanhood) but because Paulson asserts it a lot without deeper analysis. I got the feeling it was a more academic area that wasn't really in her wheelhouse for a memoir. Nonetheless, her criticism of larger power structures in the context of her MLM isn't talked about enough and I thought it was valuable that she pointed it out throughout her story.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Gaslighting, Alcoholism, Alcohol, Addiction, and Toxic friendship
Minor: Sexual assault and Homophobia
josie1999's review
informative
fast-paced
3.5
I went into this book with expectations of learning significant new information about how people get sucked into MLMs, Emily Lynn Paulson's experience in an MLM, and what can be done to stop MLMs or protect people from being pulled into similarly "culty" environments. Unfortunately, because I have gone down the rabbit holes of anti-MLM content, a large portion of the information provided wasn't new, but for someone new to the anti-MLM movement, this could be a good place to start because Emily provides a lot of good first-person accounts of what can happen. This brings me to the strongest point of the whole book which is Emily's personal experience in an MLM and what it took to become one of the most successful people in the organization. I appreciated her willingness to go into detail about tactics she used to sell or recruit new consultants and that now looking back she can recognize that some of her tactics were unhinged in pursuit of her goals and maintaining her status. Her vulnerability about her alcohol abuse and recovery was particularly raw while existing in an environment that made alcohol so readily available. I think the juxtaposition of the company giving her a platform to speak about her recovery and sobriety while supplying attendees with alcohol can be seen as an example of the much larger issue of MLMs saying or supporting one thing just to make the company look good.
One of the major downsides for me is that I feel this book was written a little too prematurely. I have not been able to find a verified date Emily officially left the MLM but given the fact she was still in the MLM when George Floyd was murdered, the book was written and published within 3 years of her leaving and it is possible she has not reconciled with how dangerous MLMs really can be. In the final few years, she seemed to be resolved that she didn't want to be a part of the MLM anymore she was still okay with accepting the money she was making from doing essentially no work. The straw that broke the camel's back for her to leave were the events of 2020 (COVID, George Floyd's murder, Black Lives Matter protests, and the election) which I can appreciate that she didn't want to support or be a part of a company that didn't stand against the lies and misinformation that was begin spread by its consultants, but it's hard not to wonder if those things hadn't happened or come to light, how much longer would she have stayed? If she could have made changes from the inside, would she have remained to continue getting the passive income? She also doesn't take a stand on whether or not MLMs should continue to exist. Instead, she says there should be stronger regulations and only a single level. To me, it seems contradictory to say there should only be single-level MLMs.
An area that I do agree with her on is that the individuals who get involved in MLMs should not be seen as stupid or careless because they are often women looking for connections that can be hard to find. People involved with MLMs are both victims and predators. I will add a caveat that I think once, a person reaches a point where they are doing less of the active work and are solely relying on their downline, they are less of a victim at that point. However, I think there is room to have grace for the individuals while denouncing the organization that is exploiting their labor.
One of the major downsides for me is that I feel this book was written a little too prematurely. I have not been able to find a verified date Emily officially left the MLM but given the fact she was still in the MLM when George Floyd was murdered, the book was written and published within 3 years of her leaving and it is possible she has not reconciled with how dangerous MLMs really can be. In the final few years, she seemed to be resolved that she didn't want to be a part of the MLM anymore she was still okay with accepting the money she was making from doing essentially no work. The straw that broke the camel's back for her to leave were the events of 2020 (COVID, George Floyd's murder, Black Lives Matter protests, and the election) which I can appreciate that she didn't want to support or be a part of a company that didn't stand against the lies and misinformation that was begin spread by its consultants, but it's hard not to wonder if those things hadn't happened or come to light, how much longer would she have stayed? If she could have made changes from the inside, would she have remained to continue getting the passive income? She also doesn't take a stand on whether or not MLMs should continue to exist. Instead, she says there should be stronger regulations and only a single level. To me, it seems contradictory to say there should only be single-level MLMs.
An area that I do agree with her on is that the individuals who get involved in MLMs should not be seen as stupid or careless because they are often women looking for connections that can be hard to find. People involved with MLMs are both victims and predators. I will add a caveat that I think once, a person reaches a point where they are doing less of the active work and are solely relying on their downline, they are less of a victim at that point. However, I think there is room to have grace for the individuals while denouncing the organization that is exploiting their labor.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic friendship
Moderate: Drug abuse and Alcoholism
raereads23's review
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, and Alcohol
Minor: Sexism, Racism, Ableism, Classism, Emotional abuse, Pandemic/Epidemic, Toxic friendship, Body shaming, Misogyny, and Gaslighting
amsswim's review
funny
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
I liked this one. Easy to read/listen to and follow the journey she went through. As this is a topic I am very interested in, I knew a lot of the information already but there were still some new facts or perspectives I hadn't considered. This is more of a personal story and perspectives with facts rather than a strict non-fiction book, which isn't bad just worth pointing out. Would recommend to most people. Liked the content but the writing style was not really for me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, and Alcohol
Moderate: Cancer, Sexism, Body shaming, Classism, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Racism, Misogyny, and Bullying
Minor: Drug abuse, Drug use, and Sexual assault
tinytrashqueen's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
Didn't condemn MLMs as much as I feel like was warranted based on the facts and her own experiences. Also didn't dive into the issues of racism and lack of diversity as I would've expected given that white supremacy is referenced in the title.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Religious bigotry, Toxic friendship, and Alcoholism
Moderate: Gaslighting, Racism, Pandemic/Epidemic, and Police brutality
Minor: Suicide attempt
mountain_adventures's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
2.5
I disdain MLM. But I was intrigued to get an insiders view of how people rise to the top and what it is like up there. I certainly learned a lot of things like the *free* trip is not really *free*. I liked that she gave numbers of how much she was making at different time points and at one point she details her tax return which was helpful to get the big picture.
On the downside, I hated the analysis into white supremacy and trauma as that could have been handled better. I would have preferred the author to just stick to her own story. The book was in need of a good content editor to keep it shorter and cut out some of the tangents on things like essential oils. The end of the book feels like a giant ad for the author's new company which was off putting.
On the downside, I hated the analysis into white supremacy and trauma as that could have been handled better. I would have preferred the author to just stick to her own story. The book was in need of a good content editor to keep it shorter and cut out some of the tangents on things like essential oils. The end of the book feels like a giant ad for the author's new company which was off putting.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Cancer, Alcohol, Toxic friendship, and Gaslighting
jcrawford31's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
slow-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic friendship, Alcoholism, Alcohol, Cancer, and Racism
winter_loves_cookies's review against another edition
funny
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol and Alcoholism
Moderate: Toxic friendship, Misogyny, and Gaslighting
Minor: Racism and Pandemic/Epidemic