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Stranger Here: How Weight-Loss Surgery Transformed My Body and Messed with My Head by Jen Larsen
hinesight's review against another edition
4.0
It's hard to "review" this brutally honest memoir. I had to put it down a number of times; I don't know how Jen could be so vulnerable. But I picked it up again at once. It's a hard read, but a good one. I'm glad I stuck with it; I'm glad she wrote it.
sunshine169's review against another edition
3.0
I picked up this book because I wanted to get a glimpse into the mind of someone who had weight loss surgery. What I found was reconfirmation that I do not want to put myself through such a trauma.
Weight loss surgery does not solve all your problems. You will lose all the weight (and put some back on) but you will still have body image issues and a poor relationship with food if you don't try to understand how to eat properly... I am no expert here my relationship with food is terrible but I am working on it.
Weight loss surgery can cause you to develop problems that you never had before such as Jen's dumping experience before a job interview. Not to mention the slew of problems I have seen my family go through after there surgeries.
I hate how losing weight is praised. How having a fat body is frowned upon. How all of a sudden she was thin and everyone could not stop telling her how beautiful she is. However, I do appreciate how she confesses that she regrets not living life to the fullest as a fat person. I also appreciate the resources she provides at the end of the book.
Conclusion... I still refuse WLS but I don't deny people's right to have it. The doctors in this book clearly just wanted her money. I mean they gave her a list of their doctors to go to that would approve her all the way through until surgery day. The diet and weight loss industry make me sad and angry. People who shame larger bodies make me sad and angry.
Anyone else want to know what the heck was Andy's problem?
Weight loss surgery does not solve all your problems. You will lose all the weight (and put some back on) but you will still have body image issues and a poor relationship with food if you don't try to understand how to eat properly... I am no expert here my relationship with food is terrible but I am working on it.
Weight loss surgery can cause you to develop problems that you never had before such as Jen's dumping experience before a job interview. Not to mention the slew of problems I have seen my family go through after there surgeries.
I hate how losing weight is praised. How having a fat body is frowned upon. How all of a sudden she was thin and everyone could not stop telling her how beautiful she is. However, I do appreciate how she confesses that she regrets not living life to the fullest as a fat person. I also appreciate the resources she provides at the end of the book.
Conclusion... I still refuse WLS but I don't deny people's right to have it. The doctors in this book clearly just wanted her money. I mean they gave her a list of their doctors to go to that would approve her all the way through until surgery day. The diet and weight loss industry make me sad and angry. People who shame larger bodies make me sad and angry.
Anyone else want to know what the heck was Andy's problem?
heroineinabook's review against another edition
4.0
When I started thinking about getting weight loss surgery (WLS), I went to a close friend of mine who had it a few years prior. She was more than happy to answer my questions and recommended I read Stranger Here, Jen Larsen's memoir on her experiences before, during, and after getting the surgery, to get a perspective and help guide me towards a a decision.
After reading The Big Reveal (which I LOVED), also by Larsen, I was torn. On one hand I wanted to be like Addie: Confident and inspirational. A person who loves their body and accepts themselves for themselves.
But I'm not Addie and while she's everything every girl should be, it's a struggle to accept myself and I'm old enough to be Addie's mom. If an 18 year old can do it, why can't I?
Reading Stranger Here was like reading my very own private diary that I had no idea that I had written or needed to read. Larsen writes a very poignant story about being fat is more than just weight. Spurned on by society and lack of doctor's willing to use evidence medicine, it tortures our self-perception of ourselves, nearly destroying in the end and how we play into it all.
Near the end of the book, Larsen writes that she does not regret getting WLS but she regrets the years of her life she wasted on not loving herself. The comment is a mere few paragraphs, and Larsen doesn't really expound on it much - the ending and the wrap up of the book was quite quick from Larsen's rhythm, so I wonder how she got there and what she meant.
What does it mean to love yourself? Is it merely a trend about boundaries, self-care, being a spoonie, and self-love? What does it all mean? Why do so many seem to figure it out while people like Larsen and I tend to flounder and wobble as we find ourselves? Are we somehow figuring things out how society has wrecked us not only for our body shape but also for our own mental and emotional health? While trend seems to be a big word to use here, maybe it's time we're taking back control.
Maybe control is the answer. Maybe taking control of our own lives is what begins the self-love healing and acceptance with ourselves. We make choices and live by those choices but being fat is more than about eating too much as so much goes into it like genetics, medicines, and existing conditions. Being fat is not a choice no matter what society tells us.
As I navigate the process of getting WLS from reading studies, other perspectives, and the many dear friends who have had success at it, Larsen's book sticks with me the most. It's a comfort to know I'm not alone and also a comfort to know maybe things are going to be okay. And maybe, just maybe, as I discover more about my own needs and wants, I'll find that I love myself after all no matter what I weigh.
After reading The Big Reveal (which I LOVED), also by Larsen, I was torn. On one hand I wanted to be like Addie: Confident and inspirational. A person who loves their body and accepts themselves for themselves.
But I'm not Addie and while she's everything every girl should be, it's a struggle to accept myself and I'm old enough to be Addie's mom. If an 18 year old can do it, why can't I?
Reading Stranger Here was like reading my very own private diary that I had no idea that I had written or needed to read. Larsen writes a very poignant story about being fat is more than just weight. Spurned on by society and lack of doctor's willing to use evidence medicine, it tortures our self-perception of ourselves, nearly destroying in the end and how we play into it all.
Near the end of the book, Larsen writes that she does not regret getting WLS but she regrets the years of her life she wasted on not loving herself. The comment is a mere few paragraphs, and Larsen doesn't really expound on it much - the ending and the wrap up of the book was quite quick from Larsen's rhythm, so I wonder how she got there and what she meant.
What does it mean to love yourself? Is it merely a trend about boundaries, self-care, being a spoonie, and self-love? What does it all mean? Why do so many seem to figure it out while people like Larsen and I tend to flounder and wobble as we find ourselves? Are we somehow figuring things out how society has wrecked us not only for our body shape but also for our own mental and emotional health? While trend seems to be a big word to use here, maybe it's time we're taking back control.
Maybe control is the answer. Maybe taking control of our own lives is what begins the self-love healing and acceptance with ourselves. We make choices and live by those choices but being fat is more than about eating too much as so much goes into it like genetics, medicines, and existing conditions. Being fat is not a choice no matter what society tells us.
As I navigate the process of getting WLS from reading studies, other perspectives, and the many dear friends who have had success at it, Larsen's book sticks with me the most. It's a comfort to know I'm not alone and also a comfort to know maybe things are going to be okay. And maybe, just maybe, as I discover more about my own needs and wants, I'll find that I love myself after all no matter what I weigh.
meghan111's review against another edition
3.0
EDIT: I read this book in a single day. It reminds me of [b:I'm Not the New Me|131467|I'm Not the New Me|Wendy McClure|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1309211085s/131467.jpg|126614] by Wendy McClure.
Jen Larsen has written a memoir about what it was like to have weight loss surgery and lose a great deal of weight. In her early 30s and living in San Francisco, she was aware of the Fat Acceptance and Health at Every Size movement (and the back of the book lists some resources on those topics), but she seems to have felt kind of helpless to incorporate their ideas into her own life - and I can understand the attitude, like, good for them but that would never work for ME because I am awful and could never have confidence or self-esteem, etc. When she starts researching surgery, she kind of knows that she's glossing over the reality of what having major surgery is like, in favor of looking at before and after pictures and fantasizing about how her life will change into perfection after she loses a bunch of weight. She's obsessed, and she goes ahead with the surgery.
And despite not being able to stay with the restricted diet that prevents too much malabsorption of vitamins, despite still smoking and drinking alcohol, she escapes major complications and loses over 100 pounds in a year. So that's the story. And it was interesting to read, but some elements were so frustratingly unfinished in the book:
I don't know if this is a blog-to-book or not, but I suspect it might be. It reads like it is.
Jen Larsen has written a memoir about what it was like to have weight loss surgery and lose a great deal of weight. In her early 30s and living in San Francisco, she was aware of the Fat Acceptance and Health at Every Size movement (and the back of the book lists some resources on those topics), but she seems to have felt kind of helpless to incorporate their ideas into her own life - and I can understand the attitude, like, good for them but that would never work for ME because I am awful and could never have confidence or self-esteem, etc. When she starts researching surgery, she kind of knows that she's glossing over the reality of what having major surgery is like, in favor of looking at before and after pictures and fantasizing about how her life will change into perfection after she loses a bunch of weight. She's obsessed, and she goes ahead with the surgery.
And despite not being able to stay with the restricted diet that prevents too much malabsorption of vitamins, despite still smoking and drinking alcohol, she escapes major complications and loses over 100 pounds in a year. So that's the story. And it was interesting to read, but some elements were so frustratingly unfinished in the book:
Spoiler
really, what was wrong with her boyfriend? I kept waiting for the revelation I felt was coming: he was cheating, or he had lost his job months ago, or just something about what his problem really was. Why did his hands keep shaking?? And did she ever go to any of the support groups or keep up with the weight loss surgery message boards described in the beginning?I don't know if this is a blog-to-book or not, but I suspect it might be. It reads like it is.
jaxyway's review against another edition
5.0
Disclaimer: I am a post-op weight loss surgery patient, and I am pretty knowledgeable about the topic.
Left: January 2015 (300lbs) Right: October 2015 (170lbs)
Roux-en-Y gastric bypass
First and foremost, this novel is a memoir written by a woman that chose to undergo weight loss surgery in her early 30's; it is NOT the definitive guide to weight loss surgery. In fact, the author had a rare form of weight loss surgery called the duodenal switch, and even in 2015, most bariatric surgeons in the US do not offer it. It is by far the most invasive of the weight loss surgery options, and guarantees the best results long-term. Essentially, after having the duodenal switch, patients can eat pretty much anything they want, whereas post-op gastric bypass patients have to be a lot more mindful of their choices. Gastric bypass is the gold standard of bariatric surgeries, and a lot of what Ms. Larsen writes about will NOT be applicable to those that had or will have that particular surgery. The same applies for those that had had the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. Simply put, if you've had vertical sleeve of gastric bypass, and you eat like Jen Larsen describes she ate, you will undoubtedly suffer complications, and not lose anywhere NEAR the amount of weight she lost.
That isn't to say that I do not recommend this memoir to those that had a different weight loss surgery than the author; I DO. But I recommend those that do read Stranger Here to use it as a guide of what NOT to do following weight loss surgery. Unless you either A) had the duodenal switch or B) want to fail.
Read this if:
- You have had weight loss surgery
- Someone very close to you has had weight loss surgery
Do not read this if:
- You are considering weight loss surgery, but want to know your options
- You'd like to learn more about weight loss surgery in general
- Fat people annoy you
Now that that is all of of the way with, I enjoyed Larsen's wit and candor, especially about a topic that is rather embarrassing. The first half of so of the novel are the months leading up to her weight loss surgery, and every single person that has been through that long process will find a LOT to relate to. Her uncertainty and emotional fuck-ups post-op are also something that I can relate to. I was annoyed at times, emotional at others, and laughing hysterically in between. Jen, I truly believe that Andy was a closet homo, and I want to be friends with you. You're awesome.
If you are in the Raleigh, NC area and are thinking about weight loss surgery, please consider Rex Bariatric. (Note: Rex DOES perform the duodenal switch operation)
If you are a pre or post operative weight loss surgery patient looking for a friend... consider me.
Left: January 2015 (300lbs) Right: October 2015 (170lbs)
Roux-en-Y gastric bypass
First and foremost, this novel is a memoir written by a woman that chose to undergo weight loss surgery in her early 30's; it is NOT the definitive guide to weight loss surgery. In fact, the author had a rare form of weight loss surgery called the duodenal switch, and even in 2015, most bariatric surgeons in the US do not offer it. It is by far the most invasive of the weight loss surgery options, and guarantees the best results long-term. Essentially, after having the duodenal switch, patients can eat pretty much anything they want, whereas post-op gastric bypass patients have to be a lot more mindful of their choices. Gastric bypass is the gold standard of bariatric surgeries, and a lot of what Ms. Larsen writes about will NOT be applicable to those that had or will have that particular surgery. The same applies for those that had had the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. Simply put, if you've had vertical sleeve of gastric bypass, and you eat like Jen Larsen describes she ate, you will undoubtedly suffer complications, and not lose anywhere NEAR the amount of weight she lost.
That isn't to say that I do not recommend this memoir to those that had a different weight loss surgery than the author; I DO. But I recommend those that do read Stranger Here to use it as a guide of what NOT to do following weight loss surgery. Unless you either A) had the duodenal switch or B) want to fail.
Read this if:
- You have had weight loss surgery
- Someone very close to you has had weight loss surgery
Do not read this if:
- You are considering weight loss surgery, but want to know your options
- You'd like to learn more about weight loss surgery in general
- Fat people annoy you
Now that that is all of of the way with, I enjoyed Larsen's wit and candor, especially about a topic that is rather embarrassing. The first half of so of the novel are the months leading up to her weight loss surgery, and every single person that has been through that long process will find a LOT to relate to. Her uncertainty and emotional fuck-ups post-op are also something that I can relate to. I was annoyed at times, emotional at others, and laughing hysterically in between. Jen, I truly believe that Andy was a closet homo, and I want to be friends with you. You're awesome.
If you are in the Raleigh, NC area and are thinking about weight loss surgery, please consider Rex Bariatric. (Note: Rex DOES perform the duodenal switch operation)
If you are a pre or post operative weight loss surgery patient looking for a friend... consider me.
andrea_heather's review against another edition
2.0
This book triggered the fuck out of me. I'm glad it exists and I'm glad the author was so honest and open with her experience and feelings. But reading it knocked me down several pegs on my attempts to feel like a decent human being who also happens to be fat. The hyper focus on feeling observed and judged for appearance and weight, while viewed critically in the book, also managed to get into my head and cause some unfun drama. I thought this book was going to be a little more focused on the "fat can be ok" side rather than "everyone was so happy I lost weight and even though the surgery thing was fucked up I'm still glad I did it" side. And I am ambivalent about the author having those feelings. But I guess I'm more fragile than I thought when it comes to dealing with the rest of the world's opinions about fat people and value and shame and what matters.
I'm just venting a little and expressing some caution for other people who might be curious about this book but maybe on the fence about what to expose themselves to when it comes to issues about body image and fat and judgement. I am not judging the author for her experience or arguing that she should have done or written anything different. I'm not being critical of the book itself in terms of quality or content or whatever. (I couldn't put it down when reading!) I just got tossed down an unfortunate rabbit hole due to my own personal circumstance and wanted to react to that and warn others who might be in a similar state of mind.
I'm just venting a little and expressing some caution for other people who might be curious about this book but maybe on the fence about what to expose themselves to when it comes to issues about body image and fat and judgement. I am not judging the author for her experience or arguing that she should have done or written anything different. I'm not being critical of the book itself in terms of quality or content or whatever. (I couldn't put it down when reading!) I just got tossed down an unfortunate rabbit hole due to my own personal circumstance and wanted to react to that and warn others who might be in a similar state of mind.
sueellen61's review against another edition
5.0
Although I haven't had WLS This book touched me in so many ways. How she felt about her body and food was the most honest I have read anyone be. Great book!
hmonkeyreads's review against another edition
4.0
I read this because a friend gave it a rave review. It's not something I would have picked up on my own and to be honest, I expected to be annoyed by it. Instead, I found that I couldn't put it down and I hope that Jen Larsen writes more books for me to read!
It's a simple book describing her decision to have weight loss surgery and then the adjustment period afterwards but it's really about insecurity and finding a way to be comfortable and happy with yourself when you are not perfect and the world you live in isn't perfect either.
It's a simple book describing her decision to have weight loss surgery and then the adjustment period afterwards but it's really about insecurity and finding a way to be comfortable and happy with yourself when you are not perfect and the world you live in isn't perfect either.
mandyherbet's review against another edition
3.0
Jen Larsen used to weigh over 300lbs. One day, she decided that weight loss surgery was the only way she was going to lose weight and start living her life, because obviously everything would be fixed by losing weight. Stranger Here tells the story of her weight loss journey and how she came to realise that being thin didn't fix everything.
Reading this was like sitting down with a friend over a bottle of wine and listening to them unload - very easy to read but frustrating all the same, because you want to put your hands on her shoulders and shake her throughout her journey. I didn't get a massive 'journey' feel to this book either - it's more like the story of how she decided to have the surgery without finding out very much because dieting was too frigging hard and boring, didn't listen to their advice on how to eat and still probably doesn't listen to it. I'm surprised she doesn't actually have massive health problems. I didn't get much of a sense of an 'aha' moment or turning point and I kinda felt like Jen would be that friend who frustrates you but you love all the same.
That said, there is some wonderful writing and I highlighted quite a few passages that were just beautiful, passages about body image and how you can feel so uncomfortable in your own skin. I just felt as if this was more a brain dump than a carefully crafted memoir.
Reading this was like sitting down with a friend over a bottle of wine and listening to them unload - very easy to read but frustrating all the same, because you want to put your hands on her shoulders and shake her throughout her journey. I didn't get a massive 'journey' feel to this book either - it's more like the story of how she decided to have the surgery without finding out very much because dieting was too frigging hard and boring, didn't listen to their advice on how to eat and still probably doesn't listen to it. I'm surprised she doesn't actually have massive health problems. I didn't get much of a sense of an 'aha' moment or turning point and I kinda felt like Jen would be that friend who frustrates you but you love all the same.
That said, there is some wonderful writing and I highlighted quite a few passages that were just beautiful, passages about body image and how you can feel so uncomfortable in your own skin. I just felt as if this was more a brain dump than a carefully crafted memoir.
brontherun's review against another edition
4.0
I am not sure how wide the audience is for this book, but as a raw and open excavation of ones relationship with food and weight, Larsen is great.
She peels back layer after layer of psychology and emotions that wrap so many of us up in our bodies. The struggle of body, self-identify, weight, and food is handled with honesty and bravery. I could feel her terror, anxiousness, and hope sweating through the pages.
She peels back layer after layer of psychology and emotions that wrap so many of us up in our bodies. The struggle of body, self-identify, weight, and food is handled with honesty and bravery. I could feel her terror, anxiousness, and hope sweating through the pages.