Reviews tagging 'Gaslighting'

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry

13 reviews

krizpy's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Addiction, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Abandonment, Alcohol, Alcoholism, and Emotional abuse

rachelkmclaugh's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad tense slow-paced

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Drug use, Mental illness, Medical trauma, and Gaslighting

Minor: Suicidal thoughts

mckiheather's review

challenging emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

Using personal experience, and pieces of the public persona he’s cultivated (e.g., Chandler voice) he breaks the struggles of addiction and mental health and trauma into a more manageable, easily consumed narrative while keeping all the honesty and vulnerability these topics involve.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Injury/Injury detail, and Cursing

Moderate: Gaslighting, Medical content, Death, Sexual content, and Abandonment

Minor: Vomit

alixcallender's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

4.25

Listening to the audiobook version of this after Matthew Perry’s death is unbearably, crushingly sad. I am weeping like a child as I write this, having just heard his closing montage of love and gratitude for the people in his life. 

It is not a perfect book, but it’s honest - he equally expresses his anger, fear, and complete selfishness alongside humility, reflection, and love. He’s a complex person, like we’re all complex people. I am actually surprised it has such low ratings, but my guess is probably that people struggle with the beginning. At the outset, he portrays himself as a narcissistic, bitter curmudgeon with mommy/daddy issues and no respect for women.  If you’d picked up the book because you love Chandler Bing, this intro is alarming. (It is also a bit disorganized, from an editing/narrative standpoint.) But to anyone who starts it, I implore you to finish it. You must finish it. As the book continues, Perry stumblingly arrives to a place of gratitude and hard-won optimism, acknowledging his deep-set flaws and realizing the universe is not out to get him. I think the set up of this book is deliberate: you start from the brain of an millionaire drug addict, self-pitying and loathsome and ungrateful; then you join him on the painful journey to sobriety, failing plenty of times along the way but ultimately coming out the other side with love both for himself and for the people in his life.

That’s why the reality of his untimely death is so, so sad. He concludes with such hope and optimism and appreciation for the beauty of the world. Wanting this chapter of his life to be the longest and happiest, wanting to find love, maybe have kids. He continually expressed how thankful he was to just be alive. A sense that he survived what he did for a higher purpose. Listening to this, knowing he would be dead only two years later, is heartbreaking. I can only imagine how his friends and family must feel. 

I don’t know fully what to take away from this. Yes, he had many successes in life and had it a lot easier than some addicts, and yes much of this book is flawed. But addiction like this is unimaginably difficult no matter how much fame and money you have. I was rooting for him throughout, and am sadder for it. I’m only hopeful he found true happiness at the very end. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Excrement, Drug abuse, Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Mental illness, and Self harm

Moderate: Medical content, Medical trauma, Misogyny, Abandonment, Blood, Death, Grief, Confinement, Gaslighting, and Schizophrenia/Psychosis

Minor: Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Pandemic/Epidemic, Sexism, Vomit, and Toxic friendship

wytherwytch's review

dark emotional funny informative sad fast-paced

4.0

I liked how honest and candid Matthew Perry is about his life. The good, the bad and the ugly. A read I very much enjoyed and appreciated him sharing.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Drug use, Excrement, Abandonment, Mental illness, Addiction, Alcohol, and Medical content

Moderate: Car accident

Minor: Gaslighting and Pandemic/Epidemic

yellowpurple500's review against another edition

emotional inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

5.0

Where do I even begin.

This book has been sitting on my shelf for awhile. After hearing about his passing I decided that the best way to pay tribute was to finally read it. 

This book is an emotional roller-coaster. It is raw, truthful and makes you reflect on areas of your own life at the same time. 

The biggest takeaway of this book has to be that no matter what you're going through, you are never alone. Don't be afraid to reach out for help and check up on those around you. 

Rest in peace Matthew Perry. I hope God is treating you well after that pact. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Mental illness, Vomit, Addiction, Cursing, Death, Forced institutionalization, Sexual content, Alcohol, Gaslighting, Grief, Toxic relationship, Alcoholism, Drug use, Drug abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Emotional abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Medical content, Self harm, and Violence

kelisabeth's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Infidelity, Suicidal thoughts, Cursing, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Alcohol, Forced institutionalization, Gaslighting, Addiction, Car accident, Chronic illness, Drug use, Grief, and Mental illness

rory_john14's review against another edition

emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

2.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Alcoholism, Mental illness, Sexual content, Abandonment, Addiction, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Toxic relationship, Confinement, Infidelity, Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Excrement, Grief, Blood, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Cursing, Drug abuse, Death, Medical trauma, and Self harm

Moderate: Car accident, Gaslighting, Panic attacks/disorders, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Gore, Vomit, Pandemic/Epidemic, Toxic friendship, Chronic illness, and Suicidal thoughts

Minor: Violence, Cancer, Eating disorder, Suicide, War, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, and Sexual harassment

lizaxwin's review against another edition

challenging emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

4.0

Ok, I‘m a big Friends fan and Chandler Bing has been my favourite character from the beginning. So I guess it was only logical to buy this book and devour it in 2 days. Matthew‘s story about his life — and basically his battle with alcoholism, which seems to have defined a big part of his life — is devastating, yet it speaks of the incredible power of love and determination. There is a lot of wit — I‘m mean what did I expect from the person who played Chandler? — in this story but more than that there is a lot of truth in it. Perry doesn‘t palliate anything, he speaks the ugly truth. And the ugly truth is that alcoholism is a terrible disease. Gladly, Perry seems to have finally found a way of living with it though. I wish him only the best and am thankful for his honest account.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Toxic relationship, Alcoholism, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Drug abuse, and Vomit

rokinjaguar's review against another edition

challenging dark informative reflective slow-paced

3.5

I feel a little mixed on this book. It was honest and informative and I loved his attitude. He spoke plainly but with grace about people and situations that have hurt him, but also took full responsibility for his actions. I really respected that
It just felt a little disorganized to me, like it was hard to know when something was happening in the timeline. I also have a hard time connecting with the “hope-filled conclusions” that are always the bookend to when people tell their life story. I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m just not a memoir person. 
Either way, I’m glad I read it and I see the value in this book. I think it’s just subjectively not the type of thing I like to read, I guess. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Cursing, Medical trauma, Addiction, Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Grief, Medical content, and Mental illness

Moderate: Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content, and Vomit

Minor: Suicidal thoughts and Gaslighting