Reviews

Rose: Love in Violent Times by Inga Muscio

larryleex's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful informative reflective fast-paced

4.25

thujaplicata's review against another edition

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1.0

Relying on the shock value of describing gratuitous violence is cheap. We don't need to know why rape is bad or how prolific it is. We know, Muscio. Referring to how you understand the plight of survivors because of what your partner goes through, and how the littlest things make them have flashbacks, and admitting that one in three people are survivors, means nothing when you don't factor your readers' safety in, too. Like, can I get a trigger warning before you describe the stalking, rape, and murder of children? Please?

You know what else is cheap? Relying on the word "holocaust" whenever you're too lazy to reach for your beloved dictionary. Comparing the mass murder of BROCCOLI of all things to the systematic death of millions of people and their culture is not an equal comparison. If this occurred just once I'd think, okay, fine, poor word choice but life goes on. Unfortunately, it happens about once every chapter.

One more cheap thing: romanticizing the culture of Native Americans and First Nation people. Yeah, we get it, they lived in peace with the land and didn't drill for oil. Stop referring back to them once per chapter when, again, you're too lazy to make any other comparison.

Later, in the part of the book which is actually about love, her definition of sex is pretty problematic. You can't have sex without love, according to her. Anything else is "elaborate masturbation." Which sounds pretty slut-shamey to me. Some people just like to have sex, and don't need an emotional attachment. Others are all about love, but not sex. To imply that they're inexplicably intertwined is archaic, just like the thought she has a few pages later that says everyone must release sexual energy, that it's involuntary, and that the Columbine perpetrators (among others) did what they did as a way of releasing their pent-up sexual energy. Um, citation needed.

Ultimately, I sought out this book after I loved "Cunt" by the same author. I expected it to be more about the love and less about the violence. Instead, almost three-fourths of the book is devoted to wide and shallow descriptions of any type of violence imaginable, including against plants. It describes a vaguely-far-leftist, anti-government, anti-corporate ideology, backed by points that are becoming outdated, fast. Most of the book refers to contemporary events such as the BP oil spill that, while important, are falling too quickly into history to be alluded to in a line and then whisked away without any further description or analysis.

If you want to know about love: read the last chapter. If you want descriptions of any kind of violence imaginable, over and over, like unholy instant replays: read the rest.

prettydeadlady's review against another edition

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5.0

What is love? What does it mean to you? What kinds of love are there? These are all themes in the book that I just read. The book is called, "rose : love in violent times" by Inga Muscio.

This book touches on the complexity of love and love in times that are violent, angry, frustrating, etc. Here are a few excerpts that I found that touched my inner me.

"One of the key hallmarks of real love--which our culture fails to identify for the most part--- is a commitment to adore the asshole that someone is. To fully protect and revere someone's weaknesses, phobias, insecurities, and maddening habits, as much as their glowing qualities. It is easy to love how great someone is. It is difficult to love what an asshole someone is. And make no mistake, everyone is an asshole."
(p. 223-224)

"Real love means finding value in most everything, and new ways to value yourself, the planet, animals, trees, people you like, people you don't like, as so on.

In love, you do not consider someone "marriage material" based on their income.
In love, you do not bury your emotions so deeply that others become fodder for your deepest fears. Therefore, you do not start a whisper campaign about the nice-looking woman in your office who rebuffed your sexual advances, or because you are jealous of her appearance.

In love, our aging parents are our elders to whom we owe a great deal. You do not stick them in an old-folks farm, unless they express a desire to live in such a place.

If we are a culture that loves, none of our children would be "banned" from the family because they are homos, or because they choose someone outside the family's race or religion or because they are transgender.

In love, you bolster and support, you do not try to 'change' anyone."

You can change the violence of our world sooner than you can change an individual."
(p. 225-226)

This books gives an insight that I did not have on the subject before. It's a view that is open, loving, assertive, caring, happy, sad, frustrating and it is.

lesdrane's review against another edition

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3.0

took me forever to get through. for whatever reason, I didn't find it as captivating as her previous book

choirqueer's review against another edition

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5.0

Solid. I love how the author does not shy away from truth, but pulls the reader into deep recognition of the things that happen in the world from which we'd rather look away. It was difficult to read some of the things she needed to share, but until we live in a world where those things don't happen, I'm glad that there are people like Inga Muscio who have the courage to scream and shout about them.

n8duke's review against another edition

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2.0

This was a hard one to rate. I love "Cunt" so much, and found "Autobiography of a Blue-Eyed Devil" to be pretty alright. "Rose" is ok, but I have some problems with it. I understand where she's coming from and more power to her, but I feel like she may have come at this from the wrong angle. Inga tries to redefine violence as a more inclusive word, including things like lying and cheating. She also argues that eating things like broccoli and carrots are violent things because you have to kill bugs and rip the veggies out of the ground. If that's how we want to define violence, then EVERYTHING is violence. And when you define violence that way, eating a carrot or lying to someone is in the same boat as raping or murdering. That's fucked up. I still have a great respect for Inga, and can't wait to read her next book.
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