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3.18 AVERAGE
3.18 AVERAGE
Adelle Waldman is so spot-on, it's painful. I've heard this story many, many times (from the ladies' pov, occasionally from the men's) from my friends over innumerable cups of coffee. What sticks in my craw (just a little) is how sympathetic she is to her caddish anti-hero. Waldman seems to genuinely feel that it's not entirely Nathaniel's fault that he cannot seem to treat a lady right. We're just all adrift in today's sexual mores. So even while exposing his casual sexism, his deluded sense of his own needs, his immaturity, Waldman has a seemingly never-ending fund of sympathy for Nate. Personally, I got a little sick of it. Waldman is a careful and clear chronicler of the head and heart, taking note of many stray thoughts and each emotional tremor. I admire that attention to detail, but I found it a bit claustrophobic. Still, it's a rare writer who can skewer someone — really the entire Brooklyn scene — so thoroughly without stacking the deck; Waldman is a straight shooter.
My rating is more of a 2.5 stars.
The writing is pretty solid, but Nate annoyed the hell out of me. Halfway through the book I wanted to stop reading; the way he over-analyzed everything drove me to skim a lot of his "inner thoughts" passages. He and most of his friends basically supported the idea that intellectual, educated, 30-something men who live in Brooklyn and write for a living only want to date petite, squeaky-voiced, emotionally all over the place women. Other women, for all their attractiveness, wit, and writing talent, couldn't last long in the face of Nate's own self-absorbed thoughts and insecurities. And even when he dates these bubbly cheerleader types, he still can't completely get over himself enough to be content in life or with his friends and romantic partners.
The writing is pretty solid, but Nate annoyed the hell out of me. Halfway through the book I wanted to stop reading; the way he over-analyzed everything drove me to skim a lot of his "inner thoughts" passages. He and most of his friends basically supported the idea that intellectual, educated, 30-something men who live in Brooklyn and write for a living only want to date petite, squeaky-voiced, emotionally all over the place women. Other women, for all their attractiveness, wit, and writing talent, couldn't last long in the face of Nate's own self-absorbed thoughts and insecurities. And even when he dates these bubbly cheerleader types, he still can't completely get over himself enough to be content in life or with his friends and romantic partners.
The first lines of chapter two tell us all we need to know about the protagonist: "Nate had not always been the kind of guy women call an asshole. Only recently had he been popular enough to inspire ill will." I'm not entirely convinced that is a true statement, especially since he spends this book discounting his astute (female) friend's theories and philosophies about relationships when he really ought to take them to heart. Unless, of course, he likes being an asshole. And that is exactly what it seems like.
This was an excellent novel about (some) men and the ways they relate (or don't) to women and intimacy. I'm not feeling any better about sharing the planet with them, but I'm glad I found a good one (better than Nate) to share my bed with.
This was an excellent novel about (some) men and the ways they relate (or don't) to women and intimacy. I'm not feeling any better about sharing the planet with them, but I'm glad I found a good one (better than Nate) to share my bed with.
I think I’m supposed to hate Nate and I did. He’s the one with the affairs. Full honestly I’m a true romantic who wants good endings and full love and understanding of one another. Nate is pretentious, judgmental, moody, and misogynistic. He thinks he’s liberal, open minded and educated, but he’s a selfish pick who thinks with his dick.
There were so many relationships that should have worked. (Is that life???) so many relationships where he could have done some self work and discovered his flaws and ways to fix a good connection. Instead he manipulates, starts looking around, and runs away. He makes the women do the emotional work of diagnosing and discussing the relationship. Yuck.
In the end he ends up with a theatrical, explosive, self-absorbed girl who let’s him have his own life without needing to really challenge him intellectually. She is sexualized and trivialized in a way that made me feel both gross and like, “wow! THAT is what he’s been looking for? I would’ve chosen Hannah!”
It was hard to get into, hard to stay engaged, but at times like watching a car wreck. Just not for me.
There were so many relationships that should have worked. (Is that life???) so many relationships where he could have done some self work and discovered his flaws and ways to fix a good connection. Instead he manipulates, starts looking around, and runs away. He makes the women do the emotional work of diagnosing and discussing the relationship. Yuck.
In the end he ends up with a theatrical, explosive, self-absorbed girl who let’s him have his own life without needing to really challenge him intellectually. She is sexualized and trivialized in a way that made me feel both gross and like, “wow! THAT is what he’s been looking for? I would’ve chosen Hannah!”
It was hard to get into, hard to stay engaged, but at times like watching a car wreck. Just not for me.
For anyone who
has had feelings: yes, we're all
neurotic messes.
has had feelings: yes, we're all
neurotic messes.
I liked the writing and what she did with the story, but I couldn't stand the characters at all. I might be biased because I have met a lot of Nates, and they are all terrible in similar ways.
Damn. This book is so bitter and cynical I could barely get through it. Why would a writer intentionally make every single character so unlikeable? I kept reading hoping I'd come to some modicum of insight or empathy for Nate but in the end it was all just a begrudging hate read full of "Brooklyn" cliches. Snore. By the time I got to "the glint of her belly-button ring in the moonlit bedroom as her body rose and fell on top of his" I nearly hurled this book into a wall. I cringe now even typing that out. Reader, do yourself a favor and skip this.
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Three and a half. I really enjoyed this, although it is a little dense and probably only appealing to about six people. Reminded me a bit of the show Girls, with a dash of Annie Hall thrown in. I'm definitely interested to see what she writes next.
I know the point is that I’m supposed to really kinda hate Nate, but dear god, that doesn’t make listening to his endless self indulgent inner thoughts and drivel any easier to read. I can’t really stand anyone in this book. Maybe that’s the author’s point/and showcases her skill. I just didn’t really need a couple hundo pages to show me the depravity. I will say I learned some vocab words and that’s about the only nice thing I can think of.