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3.18 AVERAGE
3.18 AVERAGE
I really enjoyed this book. The writing was fantastic, the character development was great. I could not fucking stand Nate, tho. I'm pretty sure that's the point. I love that the main character is so unlikeable.
I dated a guy who used to always say he was "bored." He was bored by the people around him, his job, what the world had to offer, even himself. It was with a horrifying realization that I discovered Adelle Waldman's title character, Nathaniel Piven (Nate) closely resembled this person. It colored the book for me from then on out, though I can still say I enjoyed it. (When I say "it" I refer to the book).
What the guy from my past and Nate failed to understand, or perhaps chose to ignore, was how much control individuals have in the way their lives pan out. In this day and age, when class and economic status is malleable and ever-changing, whether you are "bored" is a decision you have to make for yourself. Nate finds himself choosing women and friends who he inevitably picks apart in his brain. In the first half of the book, you find yourself agreeing with his critique of those around him. He can explain why this woman's comment was pseudo-literary, or how he knows his friend is really more into tits than conversation. This was also shocking to me. Waldman's greatest feat is that she completely embodies the mind and body of a thirty year old man in Brooklyn. Not only could I identify with the described scenery, I could identify with the just-barely-made-it attitude of a young professional. The fact that this male narration was written by a woman, and that it all made so much SENSE, well that was shocking.
Enter Hannah, a fellow writer Nate at first ignores (she's not quite pretty enough for himself or, if he's honest, his friends, plus women, ugh) but then allows into his life. Hannah is smart without bragging, witty without trying and Nate feels a genuine intimacy with her emotionally and physically. When the relationship starts to fall apart, all of Nate's carefully explained criticisms (including the shake of Hannah's upper arm) become petty and cruel. The twist is so subtle you almost miss it, but then I found myself completely disagreeing with everything Nate was claiming made him so unhappy. Enter the comparison of the person from my own life... Had Nate ever spoken up, and explained to Hannah why he was upset, no matter how trivial, the dialogue would have prevented the judgmental frostiness that eventually breaks them up.
Back to my statement that we control what we create. If we're bored with our friends, our lovers and our lives, than why have we chosen these friends, lovers and lives? A regular, normal (to the extent that we can classify these two words) thirty-something whose living in Brooklyn should have the where with all to create the life they want. And if they aren't, blaming the women who can't help but love them, surely isn't taking a step forward.
When Nate finally meets the woman he chooses, he believes their arguments bring them closer together because the raw passion of anger mimics sexual energy. I wanted to punch Nate in his dumb, literary head. Perhaps these arguments were giving both individuals in the relationship a chance to air their true feelings, and therefore they felt more connected when they understood one another. Or maybe, according to Nate, I'm just another over analyzing female with a couple legitimate authors on my book shelf.
Waldman's writing style (despite a general lack of plot) was intriguing to me. I enjoyed it, it felt unique in its own way. She injected bits of startling "here and now" details-including the tilt of a hand as you open a draw, a cut of sunlight across someones chest as they turned, or a chewed straw between a set of teeth-that I loved. They actually made me feel vindicated, since I often include these things in my own writing and get mixed reviews among my editing peers. Reading it by another author (despite my bias) was something I enjoyed.
I hated the conversations Nate and his friends had. They were fake, and trying so hard to be smart or again-literary. At first I thought this was the angle Waldman was going for, but it continued to a point where I wondered if this was her one flaw in assuming the thirty year old role (thinking that young people in lit scenes really talked like this). I'm not sure, either way I hated it.
The reminder to this old...person...also left a bad taste in my mouth. But I can't judge a book because it brought me further reflection on my own life. That's what books are supposed to do, right?
What the guy from my past and Nate failed to understand, or perhaps chose to ignore, was how much control individuals have in the way their lives pan out. In this day and age, when class and economic status is malleable and ever-changing, whether you are "bored" is a decision you have to make for yourself. Nate finds himself choosing women and friends who he inevitably picks apart in his brain. In the first half of the book, you find yourself agreeing with his critique of those around him. He can explain why this woman's comment was pseudo-literary, or how he knows his friend is really more into tits than conversation. This was also shocking to me. Waldman's greatest feat is that she completely embodies the mind and body of a thirty year old man in Brooklyn. Not only could I identify with the described scenery, I could identify with the just-barely-made-it attitude of a young professional. The fact that this male narration was written by a woman, and that it all made so much SENSE, well that was shocking.
Enter Hannah, a fellow writer Nate at first ignores (she's not quite pretty enough for himself or, if he's honest, his friends, plus women, ugh) but then allows into his life. Hannah is smart without bragging, witty without trying and Nate feels a genuine intimacy with her emotionally and physically. When the relationship starts to fall apart, all of Nate's carefully explained criticisms (including the shake of Hannah's upper arm) become petty and cruel. The twist is so subtle you almost miss it, but then I found myself completely disagreeing with everything Nate was claiming made him so unhappy. Enter the comparison of the person from my own life... Had Nate ever spoken up, and explained to Hannah why he was upset, no matter how trivial, the dialogue would have prevented the judgmental frostiness that eventually breaks them up.
Back to my statement that we control what we create. If we're bored with our friends, our lovers and our lives, than why have we chosen these friends, lovers and lives? A regular, normal (to the extent that we can classify these two words) thirty-something whose living in Brooklyn should have the where with all to create the life they want. And if they aren't, blaming the women who can't help but love them, surely isn't taking a step forward.
When Nate finally meets the woman he chooses, he believes their arguments bring them closer together because the raw passion of anger mimics sexual energy. I wanted to punch Nate in his dumb, literary head. Perhaps these arguments were giving both individuals in the relationship a chance to air their true feelings, and therefore they felt more connected when they understood one another. Or maybe, according to Nate, I'm just another over analyzing female with a couple legitimate authors on my book shelf.
Waldman's writing style (despite a general lack of plot) was intriguing to me. I enjoyed it, it felt unique in its own way. She injected bits of startling "here and now" details-including the tilt of a hand as you open a draw, a cut of sunlight across someones chest as they turned, or a chewed straw between a set of teeth-that I loved. They actually made me feel vindicated, since I often include these things in my own writing and get mixed reviews among my editing peers. Reading it by another author (despite my bias) was something I enjoyed.
I hated the conversations Nate and his friends had. They were fake, and trying so hard to be smart or again-literary. At first I thought this was the angle Waldman was going for, but it continued to a point where I wondered if this was her one flaw in assuming the thirty year old role (thinking that young people in lit scenes really talked like this). I'm not sure, either way I hated it.
The reminder to this old...person...also left a bad taste in my mouth. But I can't judge a book because it brought me further reflection on my own life. That's what books are supposed to do, right?
funny
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I really liked this (nearly as much as I hated Nate)! I saw it described as Girls meets Austen and that’s very fitting. Funny AND made me think a lot about the structure of relationships, plus the characters are well drawn. Considering I intend to move to New York... informative and a much-needed education for me on “the male mind”
This was probably the best character exposition piece that I have ever read. Mixed with an astute social commentary. And the language was just beautiful. Every line, every piece of dialogue, every description, was perfectly sculpted and intelligent. I feel like in that respect, after reading the about the author section, the author was almost writing about a male version of herself. And for a female to have written in what seems like such an insightful way about a man (I can only assume, not being a man myself) is incredibly impressive. I very much admire this author. And the story itself was well drawn out. I honestly could not decide how I felt about Nate, but I think that's what made this portrait of him feel so real. Sometimes I would be so angry with his assumptions and other times I would examine my own thoughts/actions based on his inner dialogue to see if I was guilty of some of the things he described. But in following him through his "love affairs" I found I really could not put the book down, despite the fact that really there was no plot, in the traditional sense. It was almost like reading an indie film about "a day in the life." In the best way. Honestly, very very insightful read. I definitely recommend it.
I have no idea why this book was on my “to-read” shelf. Now that I’ve read it I still don’t know. Nate was a dick. That’s it. That’s the whole story.
*3.5 stars*
The comments on here frightened me because a lot of people seemed to really dislike this book while on the other hand, it has been on a TON of "best" book lists. I was open to it and actually enjoyed most of it. There were a couple of times I found reading things from Nate's self absorbed and moderately ridiculous point of view to be a bit frustrating but overall it was a good book.
I don't know that I so much enjoyed the story as I did the writing and character development. I really liked the cast of characters and think the writing was solid. I'd be interested in seeing different work from this author to gage her storytelling abilities. All of that being said, I can see why so many people either loved or hated this book.
The comments on here frightened me because a lot of people seemed to really dislike this book while on the other hand, it has been on a TON of "best" book lists. I was open to it and actually enjoyed most of it. There were a couple of times I found reading things from Nate's self absorbed and moderately ridiculous point of view to be a bit frustrating but overall it was a good book.
I don't know that I so much enjoyed the story as I did the writing and character development. I really liked the cast of characters and think the writing was solid. I'd be interested in seeing different work from this author to gage her storytelling abilities. All of that being said, I can see why so many people either loved or hated this book.
Some other reviewers have given this a low mark because the main character is kind of a unlikeable. Talk about missing the point! This is a forensic dismembering of a certain kind of creative, vaguely feminist, intellectual jerk - and it's note perfect. Brutal, sometimes funny and engagingly written.
Reading this book from the viewpoint of the titular Nathaniel P. makes me think the author did some lengthy interviews with men in New York in their 20s--it must have been torture. Because I recognize Nathaniel in many men I've known and met in passing when I lived in New York in my 20s, and she gets them spot on. She delves even deeper than I thought possible, and sometimes that recognition made me shudder in my own memories. Especially that specific angle of men who believe they are not sexist, and yet treat women as utterly below themselves and don't have enough self-reflection to see it. Nathaniel P. tries, he really does, but he's still terrible and awful and I rolled my eyes so many times while reading this. There's a slew of unlikable but recognizable characters, and yes, some of the women reminded me of myself then. Also worth many shudders. A fascinating book, though I'm not sure how I'd feel about it I hadn't lived in New York at a certain time. Perhaps exactly the same, but I can't know.
I'm glad this was written and I'm glad I read it, but jeez that was upsetting.