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A boring book about thoroughly unlikeable people. That's all there is to say about this insufferable ode to douchebags.
Bit pretentious but also feel as though that is the point.
I don't really know what to rate this book. I enjoyed the writing style even though I can't decide if I liked the protagonist or not. I generally thought Nate was kind of a jerk, but I think that is also part of the message of the book. The fact that the novel was written by a woman was surprising to me, though very interesting. If the book was written by a man I could easily see myself being more offended/disgusted and wanting to throw the book against the wall. For some reason the fact that it was written by a woman gave the novel more credibility, although I don't think that's really what I was supposed to get out of it. I read the acknowledgements and it sounded like Waldman consulted several important men in her life for insight regarding Nate's character. I liked the amount of research that the author seemed to put into the book, but I still can't decide if I appreciated Nate's honesty or if I was disappointed that the novel contributed further to negative stereotypes regarding male insensitivity in relationships and shallowness when pursuing women. Overall, an interesting read and a pretty good first novel. I hope Waldman writes another book; I am interested in seeing what storyline she comes up with next.
Full review at: http://everydayiwritethebookblog.com/2013/12/love-affairs-nathaniel-p-adelle-waldman/
I am in my 40s, with three kids and a busy life that revolves around logistics and work and making sure that the little people that depend on me are generally clothed and fed and prepared for their days, whether that includes homework or potty training or birthday presents for their friends or any number of other activities and obligations that fill up my to-do list. What I really don't do these days is analyze the romantic relationship in my life ad nauseam, either in my head or with my friends. (Not that I even see my friends anymore.)
But there was a time in my life when I did analyze the romantic relationship in my life ad nauseam, both in my head and with my friends, and when I wasn't doing that, I was analyzing their romantic relationships. I sure wish that I had read The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. back then - it might have made things a bit clearer. (But probably only a bit.)
Adelle Waldman's debut novel is about the romantic exploits of Nate, a late twentysomething freelance writer living in Brooklyn with his first novel on the way. Nate is Ivy-educated, doesn't have a TV, reads philosophy and has close female friends. He's generally considered a "nice guy" by his friends. And yet, when it comes to women, he's frustratingly inconsistent and, honestly, what we would have called an a--hole back in the day. The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. focuses mostly on one of Nate's doomed relationships: five months with Hannah, another writer who Nate really likes in the beginning, and then gradually becomes unhappy with. Waldman skillfully infiltrates the male psyche to reveal the reasons - or lack thereof- for Nate's disenchantment with Hannah. She's smart, she's not hysterical, she's fit, his friends like her, the sex is good - so what is it? Why does Nate start pulling back and slowly driving her crazy with his inconsistent affections and moody aggressiveness?
Nate isn't really sure, and at the end of book, neither was I. But I certainly enjoyed the glimpse into his private thoughts, and the insights that 1) sometimes what men want out of relationships doesn't really make sense; and 2) men don't really care to spend the time figuring out what they want or why things didn't work out. There is such a telling moment at the end of the book when Hannah writes Nate a very long, analytical, ponderous email about the demise of their relationship and possible ways that it could have been saved - to which Nate doesn't even respond - which is followed by Nate's admission that he barely thought about Hannah after they broke up.
This book should be required reading for women in their 20s, if for no other reason than to save hours of emotional analysis and discussion, retreading of tired relationship battles and theories, because sometimes there just isn't a good reason for why men act as they do.
Waldman's writing is sharp and insightful and occasionally laugh-out-loud funny. Lots of entertaining observations here about Brooklyn and hipsters and the NY literary scene. I especially liked this passage, in which Nate describes a young woman that one of his friends has just started dating:
Suddenly, Nate felt a bit sorry for her. She was pretty, self-possessed, and intelligent enough, but she was fresh out of school and repeating opinions that were no doubt fashionable there. In time, she would catch the tone of New York. Her schoolmarmishness was provincial. Here it was all about the counterintuitive. She'd learn. Besides, being pretty, self-possessed, and intelligent enough would go a long way, and if she wasn't well-connected before she started dating Mark, she would be now.
I am surprised that this book has gotten such mixed reviews - there is a lot of hate for it out there. I definitely enjoyed it and am glad I picked it up.
I am in my 40s, with three kids and a busy life that revolves around logistics and work and making sure that the little people that depend on me are generally clothed and fed and prepared for their days, whether that includes homework or potty training or birthday presents for their friends or any number of other activities and obligations that fill up my to-do list. What I really don't do these days is analyze the romantic relationship in my life ad nauseam, either in my head or with my friends. (Not that I even see my friends anymore.)
But there was a time in my life when I did analyze the romantic relationship in my life ad nauseam, both in my head and with my friends, and when I wasn't doing that, I was analyzing their romantic relationships. I sure wish that I had read The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. back then - it might have made things a bit clearer. (But probably only a bit.)
Adelle Waldman's debut novel is about the romantic exploits of Nate, a late twentysomething freelance writer living in Brooklyn with his first novel on the way. Nate is Ivy-educated, doesn't have a TV, reads philosophy and has close female friends. He's generally considered a "nice guy" by his friends. And yet, when it comes to women, he's frustratingly inconsistent and, honestly, what we would have called an a--hole back in the day. The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. focuses mostly on one of Nate's doomed relationships: five months with Hannah, another writer who Nate really likes in the beginning, and then gradually becomes unhappy with. Waldman skillfully infiltrates the male psyche to reveal the reasons - or lack thereof- for Nate's disenchantment with Hannah. She's smart, she's not hysterical, she's fit, his friends like her, the sex is good - so what is it? Why does Nate start pulling back and slowly driving her crazy with his inconsistent affections and moody aggressiveness?
Nate isn't really sure, and at the end of book, neither was I. But I certainly enjoyed the glimpse into his private thoughts, and the insights that 1) sometimes what men want out of relationships doesn't really make sense; and 2) men don't really care to spend the time figuring out what they want or why things didn't work out. There is such a telling moment at the end of the book when Hannah writes Nate a very long, analytical, ponderous email about the demise of their relationship and possible ways that it could have been saved - to which Nate doesn't even respond - which is followed by Nate's admission that he barely thought about Hannah after they broke up.
This book should be required reading for women in their 20s, if for no other reason than to save hours of emotional analysis and discussion, retreading of tired relationship battles and theories, because sometimes there just isn't a good reason for why men act as they do.
Waldman's writing is sharp and insightful and occasionally laugh-out-loud funny. Lots of entertaining observations here about Brooklyn and hipsters and the NY literary scene. I especially liked this passage, in which Nate describes a young woman that one of his friends has just started dating:
Suddenly, Nate felt a bit sorry for her. She was pretty, self-possessed, and intelligent enough, but she was fresh out of school and repeating opinions that were no doubt fashionable there. In time, she would catch the tone of New York. Her schoolmarmishness was provincial. Here it was all about the counterintuitive. She'd learn. Besides, being pretty, self-possessed, and intelligent enough would go a long way, and if she wasn't well-connected before she started dating Mark, she would be now.
I am surprised that this book has gotten such mixed reviews - there is a lot of hate for it out there. I definitely enjoyed it and am glad I picked it up.
Decently written fiction about the accounts of a modern man dating. The main character just leaves a bad taste in your mount due to his complete lack of understanding and care for others. It's supposed to portray the scene of daring that women are coming forward to now but I refuse to believe all men are like this. He is just a certain sort that believe he is entitled to all sexual pleasures and whims of his own accord without considering the hard work that goes into a partnership. When things get rough he just leaves out and doesn't return. As I said I find it hard to believe that all guys are like this - it all depends where you look and the expectations you have.
So, I’m going to keep this short because this wasn’t a book I liked. Nathaniel Piven is one of the most self absorbed characters I’ve ever read about. This was a quick read, but I wasn’t attached to any part of the book. I’m still confused on what the plot is (if there even is one), and for me, the world building and characters are not brought to life whatsoever. Of course this is just my opinion, but I was also bored while reading this book, and each page I filled, I wanted to be done with it. I feel like there was great potential for an impactful and meaningful story to be expressed, but there was a lack of good execution. Overall the book left me utterly disappointed.
Really well written but good god did I hate everyone in it.
What do we learn here about the nasty inner thoughts of middle class, inner city 'arty' narcissistic men when they date women that we haven't learnt from countless women's magazines over the decades? Not a lot. What is alarming is how frequently this archetype is pushed around, surely in a disproportionate way. Combined with the New York-ness of this upper middle class elitist literati, my experience of reading this book felt a bit like the encounter between Nate and Amy Perlman towards the end of the book - a disconnect between lives, resulting in a failure to recognise the important components. Obviously this is not a criteria of a novel, but it appears many are having visceral reactions connected with their dating universe.
This book also has a lot to say about the behaviour of women in relationships, especially when things head south. The strong, smart, educated girl who gets 'sapped' by her relationship, become anxious and needy, her neediness in turn further repelling her partner. Hannah's strong stand in the park (you're trying to be deep, but you're really not) is then completely obliterated by the email afterwards which you just wish you could suck back in on her behalf. And then the second email. Oh dear.
While the characters are all largely unlikable, it's an entertaining read written by a very smart author who is trying to say something significant, and humorous, about dating and the Brooklyn literary scene.
This book also has a lot to say about the behaviour of women in relationships, especially when things head south. The strong, smart, educated girl who gets 'sapped' by her relationship, become anxious and needy, her neediness in turn further repelling her partner. Hannah's strong stand in the park (you're trying to be deep, but you're really not) is then completely obliterated by the email afterwards which you just wish you could suck back in on her behalf. And then the second email. Oh dear.
While the characters are all largely unlikable, it's an entertaining read written by a very smart author who is trying to say something significant, and humorous, about dating and the Brooklyn literary scene.