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lizawall's review against another edition
When we read this book for book club I googled Pat Califia and like the first thing that came up was a gofundme or something about how he needed money for medical care because he was old and sick and basically living in poverty, and it felt shocking because he was someone so influential and canonical to me in youth, and I think also in a weird way bc of his like power-projecting sexual bravado, but also somehow makes sense that ppl who are kind of out there pushing the margins with their work, which I think he definitely did at the time this was first published, and in some ways even more so now in our times that are in some ways even more sexually conservative, end up in these kind of marginal positions. Like why doesn't he have tenure at like Berkeley or somewhere but also of course he doesn't. It's so weird how things have changed now where the s&m stuff seems kind of sweet and definitely innocuous but the age/consent stuff is like way farther over line. And honestly I'm still kind of shook by the way he breaks down how part of the pedophilia societal panic was about the idea that children's parents should be able to own/control them which is an attitude that probably does more to enable sexual abuse than any. I can't really come around to thinking it's ok for children to be in consenting relationships with adults, but it is important to keep in mind also how much traditional family structure acts as a cover for abuse. As someone with a deep fear of being caught out having a wrong thought or opinion, I found it inspiring how willing he was to be wrong and make mistakes in public and learn and change over time. Actually I just remembered I initially really wanted to read this because Morgan Page tweeted something about how it would be a controversial convo-starter for queers of today, and she was really right!
lipsandpalms's review against another edition
3.0
Interesting albeit a little outdated in terms of the modern plight of sexual minorities, at least in the US. I find myself agreeing with many of her essays except for the parts regarding man/boy lovers aka pedophilia. She seems to believe lowering the age of consent is liberating for children when in reality it opens the door for abuse and coercion. I see her point about most people experiencing sex before the legal age of concent. The theory that my life would have been improved if I had my first sexual experience with an adult rather than another fumbling teenager I find to be really dubious.
It's ironic how much of the conservative feminist agenda has been overshadowed by the sex positive liberal feminists of the current era who are more often than not allies of the LGBTQA community. Especially with names like Feminists Against Pornography and Women Against Pornography having their acronyms hilariously overtaken by more popular culture.
Referring or redefining the term phallus, specifically for the phallus of the butch lesbian, to mean power and privilege rather than the literal definition is confusing and fruitless imo. I don't understand how she can make the claims that
1. Society is undeservedly patriarchal
2. Butch lesbians do not have penis envy
3. Phallus = power
Her argument here seems self contradicting
I learned a lot about the hiv risks for lesbians. It's honestly something that has rarely occurred to me
It's ironic how much of the conservative feminist agenda has been overshadowed by the sex positive liberal feminists of the current era who are more often than not allies of the LGBTQA community. Especially with names like Feminists Against Pornography and Women Against Pornography having their acronyms hilariously overtaken by more popular culture.
Referring or redefining the term phallus, specifically for the phallus of the butch lesbian, to mean power and privilege rather than the literal definition is confusing and fruitless imo. I don't understand how she can make the claims that
1. Society is undeservedly patriarchal
2. Butch lesbians do not have penis envy
3. Phallus = power
Her argument here seems self contradicting
I learned a lot about the hiv risks for lesbians. It's honestly something that has rarely occurred to me
thatonewhoreads's review against another edition
5.0
By far one of the the greatest books I have read in ages. This book is a great to learn about sexuality especially within the American landscape. At times the language was very heavy with US slang, but overall it was a delight to consume as the information was understandable. What I enjoyed the most is learning about the right wing would do against any sort of sex positive moment tried. It really opened my eyes to the issues that the LGBT community experience. Would highly recommend to anyone interested in sexual history and sexual politics.
veleda_k's review against another edition
4.0
Certainly an interesting book, Califia doesn't censor or hold himself back in the least. Sometimes I found myself nodding vigorously in agreement, and sometimes I was deeply disturbed.
chaseledin's review against another edition
5.0
Pat Califia's journalistic collection is radical, regardless of the title. Califia is emboldened by a queer future that envisions sex positivity; to be sure, Califia is that visionary. Her writing is explicit; don't be shocked upon first reading. Califia is an essential member of the S/M community and advocate for the trans community(ies). A must read for LGBT scholars of all variations.
meganmilks's review against another edition
5.0
Five stars in recognition of its immense contributions to queer and feminist sexual politics; though I'd go for four on the basis of reading experience -- it's pretty one-note in terms of voice/form/tone. Califia is an incisive writer whose critiques of institutional hypocrisy are forceful and persuasive; this reads as an important historical document of the sex wars and a reminder of how (almost) totally cultural mores have changed within feminism in the past two decades--and, too, how attitudes towards BDSM/kink have shifted within queer sex cultures. I especially appreciated how fervently Califia defends all those in Gayle Rubin's "outer circle" of sexual deviance -- as well as other marginalized communities such as drug users -- and how transparently he addresses having changed his own positions over time (particularly around child-adult relationships and age of consent; and his former stance as a terf-y lesbian separatist).
library_lurker's review against another edition
5.0
whip-smart, fearless and occasionally laugh-out-loud funny, this book is a collection of essays mostly published in the 80's and early 90's, which still ring true today. the essay, "unmonogamy: loving tricks and tricking lovers" changed my life, i think. pretty much everything in here is a gem. i also thought it was hilarious when califia mentioned making their own dildo harness and then said, "velcro makes it adjustable--i love technology!" oh, the 80's.
nelsonminar's review against another edition
2.0
Fun book of radical essays about sexuality. I like Califia's no bullshit attitude, although of course half of what she says is wrong :-) Still, I'm glad to see someone write challenging essays, and I think her general liberation message is important. Back in my Queer Nation days this was the sort of discourse we were striving for. Maybe it's a bit dated now.
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