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3.79 AVERAGE
3.79 AVERAGE
Sex has always come without consequence for seventeen-year-old Evan. It was easy for him, even. That is, until he hooks up the wrong girl and finds himself in the wrong place at very much the wrong time. After an assault that leaves Evan scarred inside and out, he and his father retreat to the family cabin in rural Minnesota—which, ironically, turns out to be the one place where Evan can't escape other people. Including himself. Yet it may also offer him his best shot at making sense of his life again.
I’m not usually a fan of YA written in a male’s POV. Not so with this book. It made me rethink my semi-strict rule of staying away from “boy” fiction. Mesrobian flawlessly enters the mind of 17-year old Evan and lets his story flow seamlessly through the pages. It’s gritty, unapologetic, and most importantly, believable.
Evan undergoes a major transformation in this story. He starts off as a care-free, cocky kid with no plans for the future. Then his whole world is rocked and he, along with his mostly absent dad, is left to pick up the pieces. This is when a new Evan is introduced. He’s vulnerable, and not so sure about life anymore. He struggles to do everyday things, like showering, and doesn’t know his place anymore. But with the help of a therapist, a motley crew of friends, an island, and handwritten letters, Evan begins to figure things out again. Even if he doesn’t have all the answers, life goes on and he’ll move on with it.
I’m a character-driven reader, so as long as I can connect to the characters, the story is golden (for the most part). Yet, had I not connected to Evan, this story was so well-written, I could have forgiven the lack of connection. From start to finish, I was sucked in and couldn’t turn away. Months later and I’m still thinking about these characters and their stories. Their stories were complex yet realistic. The content in this book tended to lean to the heavy, no light-hearted reading here, and luckily it still managed to stay away from the angsty teen drama found in so much YA. My only complaint is that I’d liked to have seen what became of Collette and Evan’s letters. I’m okay with open-ended endings, but I became so invested in this book, that I wanted just a bit more.
You are instantly drawn to Evan and his story. The story is hard to get through at times, but Evan tells it so matter-of-factly, so unfalteringly, that it’s easy to stay with him. He’s not the frequently found hero, Evan is flawed. He’s flawed and knows it. Yet, his charm, wit, and self-deprecating humor pulls you in. He might not be perfect, but he’s honest, deceivingly caring, and not afraid of taking chances. The other characters are introduced in different depths, but all well done and fleshed out. Most of the book I wanted to shake his dad, hug his therapist, and nudge a friend or two. And even when Evan doesn’t behave in exactly the way you’d want him to, you root for him. You root for the mismatched relationships he’s forged. And you root for his survival.
(I received an ARC from NetGalley)
I’m not usually a fan of YA written in a male’s POV. Not so with this book. It made me rethink my semi-strict rule of staying away from “boy” fiction. Mesrobian flawlessly enters the mind of 17-year old Evan and lets his story flow seamlessly through the pages. It’s gritty, unapologetic, and most importantly, believable.
Evan undergoes a major transformation in this story. He starts off as a care-free, cocky kid with no plans for the future. Then his whole world is rocked and he, along with his mostly absent dad, is left to pick up the pieces. This is when a new Evan is introduced. He’s vulnerable, and not so sure about life anymore. He struggles to do everyday things, like showering, and doesn’t know his place anymore. But with the help of a therapist, a motley crew of friends, an island, and handwritten letters, Evan begins to figure things out again. Even if he doesn’t have all the answers, life goes on and he’ll move on with it.
I’m a character-driven reader, so as long as I can connect to the characters, the story is golden (for the most part). Yet, had I not connected to Evan, this story was so well-written, I could have forgiven the lack of connection. From start to finish, I was sucked in and couldn’t turn away. Months later and I’m still thinking about these characters and their stories. Their stories were complex yet realistic. The content in this book tended to lean to the heavy, no light-hearted reading here, and luckily it still managed to stay away from the angsty teen drama found in so much YA. My only complaint is that I’d liked to have seen what became of Collette and Evan’s letters. I’m okay with open-ended endings, but I became so invested in this book, that I wanted just a bit more.
You are instantly drawn to Evan and his story. The story is hard to get through at times, but Evan tells it so matter-of-factly, so unfalteringly, that it’s easy to stay with him. He’s not the frequently found hero, Evan is flawed. He’s flawed and knows it. Yet, his charm, wit, and self-deprecating humor pulls you in. He might not be perfect, but he’s honest, deceivingly caring, and not afraid of taking chances. The other characters are introduced in different depths, but all well done and fleshed out. Most of the book I wanted to shake his dad, hug his therapist, and nudge a friend or two. And even when Evan doesn’t behave in exactly the way you’d want him to, you root for him. You root for the mismatched relationships he’s forged. And you root for his survival.
(I received an ARC from NetGalley)
DNF: I thought it was boring with very little character development. I really did not get a sense of who Evan was. His father's reaction was also out of character. He went from being distant and never around to taking him away for several months to a small cabin on a lake in Minnesota, where it didn't seem he worked at all. I'm really confused about what everyone liked so much.
Evan has been moving around his entire life. Thus, he has perfected the art of being the New Guy. As the New Guy, Evan focuses entirely on meeting girls. He has no male friends to speak of and goes from girl to girl. He's always had good luck with girls and views them as little more than conquests. Friendship with girls who won't sleep with him aren't really worth his time. Then Evan sleeps with the wrong girl. She's a girl with a violent ex-boyfriend (who is unfortunately friends with Evan's roommate). Evan gets beaten up so badly that he's pulled out of school by his father and taken to live in the small rural community in Minnesota that his father grew up in. There, everyone knows everyone else. Evan quickly discovers that he cannot simply spend the summer hiding from everyone and everything. Slowly, bit by bit, Evan begins to make actual friends, both male and female. Still, Evan is haunted by the repercussions of his beating and has trouble even thinking about going back to his old way of living.
Evan's perspective is a unique one in YA lit. Evan isn't really the most likeable of characters, but it doesn't take the reader long to figure out that it's not entirely Evan's fault. Evan's mother is long absent and his wealthy father is more comfortable with computers than people. As Evan begins to open up to his new friends, he begins to reassess the way he thinks about both women and relationships.
The ending is little on the tidy side and the final chapters portraying Evan at the public school feel like they're rushed and possibly unnecessary. Otherwise, it's compelling read about issues rarely addressed from the male perspective. This would likely make a very interesting book for discussion groups.
Evan's perspective is a unique one in YA lit. Evan isn't really the most likeable of characters, but it doesn't take the reader long to figure out that it's not entirely Evan's fault. Evan's mother is long absent and his wealthy father is more comfortable with computers than people. As Evan begins to open up to his new friends, he begins to reassess the way he thinks about both women and relationships.
The ending is little on the tidy side and the final chapters portraying Evan at the public school feel like they're rushed and possibly unnecessary. Otherwise, it's compelling read about issues rarely addressed from the male perspective. This would likely make a very interesting book for discussion groups.
Addressing the aftermath of assault and the consequences of casual sex, this novel doesn’t shy away from the tough topics and reality of teen life. There’s a lot of moral ambiguity in this story, and it should probably come with a trigger warning for some of the graphic content. It’s definitely a young adult novel for a more mature audience, but it is a worthwhile and even valuable narrative on PTSD.
What stands out the most for me in this book is the spot-on narrative voice of Evan. The male POV is extremely well done and I would have never guessed that I was reading a novel written by a female author. He’s an unreliable narrator at best, but his charm lies in his unabashed honesty and fragile temper. Despite his somewhat broken moral compass, as a reader I wanted him to find his way and my heart broke for his traumatic experience. There were definitely times that I wanted to smack him upside the head and tell him to get it together, but ultimately the book is about him finding his way, and there will be obvious struggles in that.
Something this book does really well is showing all of the varying experiences of teen sex. There’s a wide continuum, and the experiences of the teens in this book lie all along that line, from the mundane first time to the trauma of sexual assault. The novel does a good job of opening up a discussion about emotional and physical boundaries and the way that sex can complicate matters. Although it is subject material that is definitely aimed at a more mature young adult reader, it’s valuable.
I’m a big fan of young adult literature that isn’t afraid to uncover the truths about being a teen, and I feel like Sex & Violence was a daring attempt at realism. Be forewarned that it is graphic and at times violent, but still a worthwhile read.
What stands out the most for me in this book is the spot-on narrative voice of Evan. The male POV is extremely well done and I would have never guessed that I was reading a novel written by a female author. He’s an unreliable narrator at best, but his charm lies in his unabashed honesty and fragile temper. Despite his somewhat broken moral compass, as a reader I wanted him to find his way and my heart broke for his traumatic experience. There were definitely times that I wanted to smack him upside the head and tell him to get it together, but ultimately the book is about him finding his way, and there will be obvious struggles in that.
Something this book does really well is showing all of the varying experiences of teen sex. There’s a wide continuum, and the experiences of the teens in this book lie all along that line, from the mundane first time to the trauma of sexual assault. The novel does a good job of opening up a discussion about emotional and physical boundaries and the way that sex can complicate matters. Although it is subject material that is definitely aimed at a more mature young adult reader, it’s valuable.
I’m a big fan of young adult literature that isn’t afraid to uncover the truths about being a teen, and I feel like Sex & Violence was a daring attempt at realism. Be forewarned that it is graphic and at times violent, but still a worthwhile read.
One of the Best Books of the Year
Disclaimer: I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Trigger Warnings and Some Words about Sex in YA/NA fiction
This book addresses the aftermath of violence and sexual assault, as well as the devastating effects of PTSD. If the mentions of these topics are a potential issue for you I would caution you, but I wouldn’t discourage you from reading.
In fact, I feel this book should be on high school reading lists. It is one of the most honest and realistic depictions of teen sex (both positive and negative) I’ve read in a long time. When popular culture and young adult fiction are cramming romantic, and often times unrealistic, fantasies of teen sex down our throats at ever turn, I think it’s important to give kids a dose of realism.
Sex can be a lot of things. Fun, distracting, comforting, invigorating, even violent and traumatizing. It is a spectrum, ranging from beautiful to ugly. Often, especially in popular Young Adult and New Adult fiction, we only look at the two extremes of “making love” and sexual abuse. Sometimes we even see them in the same story, but rarely do I see them depicted with the honestly and realism young readers deserve.
I have nothing against escapism, but I believe it’s important to temper it with realism to foster healthy attitudes about sex and relationships. Especially, when the rates of sexual assault and abuse among teens is reaching epidemic levels. (44% of sexual assault and rape victims are under the age of 18. [source])
Sex & Violence covers the spectrum of sex, from casual hook-ups, to friendly make out sessions, and even brutal sexual assault. It also addresses the effects of sex on a young person, and creates a great opportunity to discuss sex, violence, emotional health, sexual and emotional boundaries, with young readers, be they students, siblings or your own children.
Review Proper
Evan Carter is always the New Guy. His father’s work keeps them moving all the time, all over the country, but Evan doesn’t mind (or so he claims). Being the New Guy allows him to perfect his strategy of finding the Girl Who Would Say Yes. What she’s saying yes to is, of course, sex.
See, Evan is a self proclaimed manwhore. He sleeps with a lot of girls, often deleting their phone numbers afterward. Or his father gets another assignment or job and they move to a new town with new girls who say yes. That’s his routine, his comfort zone, but everything changes when he sets his sights on Colette, his roommate’s ex-girlfriend.
This is not the same old romantic cliche about how all a promiscuous young men needs is the love of a good girl to cure him of his manwhoring ways. The world of Sex & Violence is realistic, where choices come with consequences, and how devastating they can be on everyone involved. Those consequences are what brings Evan and his father to Minnesota, to a cabin on the shore of Pearl Lake, where Evan meets a whole host of kids with their own problems and where he struggles to find find peace and to feel safe again. Through therapy and honest self examination Evan finds a the path to personal growth. Where he learns that girls and sex aren’t the answer to his problems. In fact, that meeting a great girl can sometimes makes things worse and his personal issues even more difficult to deal with.
One of the things that struck me the most about Sex & Violence was the beautifully constructed characters. From Evan and his quiet, quixotic father to Baker, the great girl next door, and even the “Stoner Guy” Jesse and Layne, Evan’s boss at the grocery store. None of them feel like characters. They feel like real people you meet throughout your life, at summer camp, while working a part time jobs or at trailer park kegger crowded with chain-smoking girls who have the scratch voices of 80 year old women.
Every inch of this story has life and authenticity, which makes it effortless to fall into. I fell hard, for Evan and the motley crue of friends, acquaintances, adults and coworkers who populate his life. Evan’s 1st person narration carried me through the story and invested me in his recovery process. It was an emotional ride, but not a melodramatic one. There’s violence, sex, arguments and breathless moments of sexual tension that left me blushing, but none of it ever seemed over the top. It felt like I was living life along side this brilliant, lonely, mixed-up young man who was so much better than he thought and deserved so much more than he had.
Sex & Violence is a journey, but much like life it ends as a new chapter in Evan’s life begins. Very much like life there is nothing tidy, romantic or simple about it. This is not a romance, or a fairy tale. Its a piece of life, in all it’s messy, beautiful wonder and it is absolutely worth your time to read it.
A bit of Feminist Fangirling and Final Thoughts
I am stunned by how many multi-dimensional, strong and complex women are in this book. Despite it being written from a male POV they still come through loud and clear. In fact, Evan’s life is populated by sexual empowered, outspoken and yet relatable women. Colette, Baker, Brenda (Baker’s mother), his own mother, even Jancita (his boss’ girlfriend and mother of his son) all have depth dimension and voices of their own. Several of the girls he’s involved with are sexually confident and one even complains that her boyfriend call her sexual aggressive.
Baker especially is opinionated and even rants about the patriarchy on several occasions, but she is no straw-feminists. In fact, her outspoken, non-stereotypical girlie girl behavior is what Evan finds attractive about her. She’s a “dork about history,” and easy to talk to, which he also sees as positives. I love how it’s the girls that challenge him, who are human beings that are most desirable to him. Which makes a lot of sense, since part of Evan’s growth is learning that other people are just as complex, flawed and fucked up as he is. This was nailed home
Sex & Violence’s take on the trauma of being the male/outside perspective of sexual assault, and how men cope the often unspoken sense of responsibility and self blame. It explores the prevalent sense of failure at not having protected the victim, that is deeply tied into cultural expectations of masculinity and strength. It also the exploration of how sex can be just as emotionally damaging for young men as it can be for women. How too often men and women use sex like a recreational drug to distract, numb or cope with other emotional traumatic issues. This is address in an honest and realistic way, with none of the typical slut shaming, abstinence propaganda or romantic fantasies that is so often employed in young adult fiction. In fact, we see how each one of those unrealistic belief systems and fantasies can be just as or even more damaging to kids.
I’ve been wanting a story like this for a long time, and as you can tell by my mile long review, it was absolutely worth the wait.
Disclaimer: I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Trigger Warnings and Some Words about Sex in YA/NA fiction
This book addresses the aftermath of violence and sexual assault, as well as the devastating effects of PTSD. If the mentions of these topics are a potential issue for you I would caution you, but I wouldn’t discourage you from reading.
In fact, I feel this book should be on high school reading lists. It is one of the most honest and realistic depictions of teen sex (both positive and negative) I’ve read in a long time. When popular culture and young adult fiction are cramming romantic, and often times unrealistic, fantasies of teen sex down our throats at ever turn, I think it’s important to give kids a dose of realism.
Sex can be a lot of things. Fun, distracting, comforting, invigorating, even violent and traumatizing. It is a spectrum, ranging from beautiful to ugly. Often, especially in popular Young Adult and New Adult fiction, we only look at the two extremes of “making love” and sexual abuse. Sometimes we even see them in the same story, but rarely do I see them depicted with the honestly and realism young readers deserve.
I have nothing against escapism, but I believe it’s important to temper it with realism to foster healthy attitudes about sex and relationships. Especially, when the rates of sexual assault and abuse among teens is reaching epidemic levels. (44% of sexual assault and rape victims are under the age of 18. [source])
Sex & Violence covers the spectrum of sex, from casual hook-ups, to friendly make out sessions, and even brutal sexual assault. It also addresses the effects of sex on a young person, and creates a great opportunity to discuss sex, violence, emotional health, sexual and emotional boundaries, with young readers, be they students, siblings or your own children.
Review Proper
Evan Carter is always the New Guy. His father’s work keeps them moving all the time, all over the country, but Evan doesn’t mind (or so he claims). Being the New Guy allows him to perfect his strategy of finding the Girl Who Would Say Yes. What she’s saying yes to is, of course, sex.
See, Evan is a self proclaimed manwhore. He sleeps with a lot of girls, often deleting their phone numbers afterward. Or his father gets another assignment or job and they move to a new town with new girls who say yes. That’s his routine, his comfort zone, but everything changes when he sets his sights on Colette, his roommate’s ex-girlfriend.
This is not the same old romantic cliche about how all a promiscuous young men needs is the love of a good girl to cure him of his manwhoring ways. The world of Sex & Violence is realistic, where choices come with consequences, and how devastating they can be on everyone involved. Those consequences are what brings Evan and his father to Minnesota, to a cabin on the shore of Pearl Lake, where Evan meets a whole host of kids with their own problems and where he struggles to find find peace and to feel safe again. Through therapy and honest self examination Evan finds a the path to personal growth. Where he learns that girls and sex aren’t the answer to his problems. In fact, that meeting a great girl can sometimes makes things worse and his personal issues even more difficult to deal with.
One of the things that struck me the most about Sex & Violence was the beautifully constructed characters. From Evan and his quiet, quixotic father to Baker, the great girl next door, and even the “Stoner Guy” Jesse and Layne, Evan’s boss at the grocery store. None of them feel like characters. They feel like real people you meet throughout your life, at summer camp, while working a part time jobs or at trailer park kegger crowded with chain-smoking girls who have the scratch voices of 80 year old women.
Every inch of this story has life and authenticity, which makes it effortless to fall into. I fell hard, for Evan and the motley crue of friends, acquaintances, adults and coworkers who populate his life. Evan’s 1st person narration carried me through the story and invested me in his recovery process. It was an emotional ride, but not a melodramatic one. There’s violence, sex, arguments and breathless moments of sexual tension that left me blushing, but none of it ever seemed over the top. It felt like I was living life along side this brilliant, lonely, mixed-up young man who was so much better than he thought and deserved so much more than he had.
Sex & Violence is a journey, but much like life it ends as a new chapter in Evan’s life begins. Very much like life there is nothing tidy, romantic or simple about it. This is not a romance, or a fairy tale. Its a piece of life, in all it’s messy, beautiful wonder and it is absolutely worth your time to read it.
A bit of Feminist Fangirling and Final Thoughts
I am stunned by how many multi-dimensional, strong and complex women are in this book. Despite it being written from a male POV they still come through loud and clear. In fact, Evan’s life is populated by sexual empowered, outspoken and yet relatable women. Colette, Baker, Brenda (Baker’s mother), his own mother, even Jancita (his boss’ girlfriend and mother of his son) all have depth dimension and voices of their own. Several of the girls he’s involved with are sexually confident and one even complains that her boyfriend call her sexual aggressive.
Baker especially is opinionated and even rants about the patriarchy on several occasions, but she is no straw-feminists. In fact, her outspoken, non-stereotypical girlie girl behavior is what Evan finds attractive about her. She’s a “dork about history,” and easy to talk to, which he also sees as positives. I love how it’s the girls that challenge him, who are human beings that are most desirable to him. Which makes a lot of sense, since part of Evan’s growth is learning that other people are just as complex, flawed and fucked up as he is. This was nailed home
Spoiler
in a scene where Evan’s uncle, Soren the very figure of masculinity and all the things Evan wants to be, but feels he can’t achieve tells him women aren’t objects and that they have minds of there own. I mean, Holy Feminist Subtext, Batman!Sex & Violence’s take on the trauma of being the male/outside perspective of sexual assault, and how men cope the often unspoken sense of responsibility and self blame. It explores the prevalent sense of failure at not having protected the victim, that is deeply tied into cultural expectations of masculinity and strength. It also the exploration of how sex can be just as emotionally damaging for young men as it can be for women. How too often men and women use sex like a recreational drug to distract, numb or cope with other emotional traumatic issues. This is address in an honest and realistic way, with none of the typical slut shaming, abstinence propaganda or romantic fantasies that is so often employed in young adult fiction. In fact, we see how each one of those unrealistic belief systems and fantasies can be just as or even more damaging to kids.
I’ve been wanting a story like this for a long time, and as you can tell by my mile long review, it was absolutely worth the wait.
I loved it!
I really liked that this book didn't sugarcoat anything. I liked that the main character didn't fall head over heels in love with this one girl and that they were gonna be together forever. I liked his father, he was weird, but in a good way. He reminded me a bit of my own father in the way that he was distant, but you knew he wanted the best for his son regardless. I liked all the supporting characters, they were real people with personalities, not just one dimensional characters who's only purpose is to further the drama. I liked the setting and I liked the writing. All in all a very good mature YA. Recommended.
I really liked that this book didn't sugarcoat anything. I liked that the main character didn't fall head over heels in love with this one girl and that they were gonna be together forever. I liked his father, he was weird, but in a good way. He reminded me a bit of my own father in the way that he was distant, but you knew he wanted the best for his son regardless. I liked all the supporting characters, they were real people with personalities, not just one dimensional characters who's only purpose is to further the drama. I liked the setting and I liked the writing. All in all a very good mature YA. Recommended.
An ambitious and complex book that suprised me. I wasn't onboard with it at first and wasn't sure where it was going but about halfway through I felt more convinced, and by the end I was sold. Mesrobian presents difficult ideas about gender roles and the relationship between violence and sex in a sublte but raw way. This book isn't perfect -- I found the lead girl character a bit contrived, but it is interesting and brave. Less flashy than Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock, Sex and Violence deals with many of the same themes in a deeper and ultimatley more succesful way.
(Rewritten post because I can't stop thinking about it.) Geez, this book is important. Mesrobian writes a realistic and honest story of a lost teen, a victim and a monster (we can debate this, but I think it's both),--a teen who is brutally beaten for his actions and sexual pursuits. Carrie Mesrobian writes with a powerfully truthful and funny voice. She has created a great narrative with complicated, important characters. This book, this book....I can't even....