Scan barcode
erinmp's review against another edition
3.0
At the age of 35, Susan Johnson realizes that she desperately wants to be a mother. At 38 she is pregnant with her first child, moving back her to homeland of Australia, and getting ready to "settle." Although deliriously happy with her new baby and new life, she realizes that something isn't quite right and is soon diagnosed with a recto-vaginal fistula, something that is practically unheard of in the Western world (although prevalent in developing countries). This memoir is Susan's story--about life as a new, first-time, older mother. Settling down with a man who isn't really the settling down type. Attempting to remain a surviving writer. And dealing with a rare medical condition that can be painful, not to mention embarrassing and humiliating.
I really did not enjoy the book at first. It wasn't until about halfway through that I really started to not only get into the book, but really even cared about her story. She doesn't really talk about the fistula until the midway point, and I guess I was just waiting for that. It's probably also important to mention that I am not really a fan of "literary memoirs" (as my sister says: it's probably really great. I did not think the first half was great). I prefer the more gritty, real writing to the pretentious, flowery writing that she has. Looking back, I can see that the first half of the book was probably fine; it just didn't really have anything to do with the reason I picked up the book in the first place. One thing I loved, though; is that Johnson has some wonderful phrases that are immensely quotable. Example: "Having children exposes you. I will know who you are when I see how you wish your children to live." And "Isn't it a form of arrogance to assume that misfortune will not personally visit you, or to allow yourself to believe the man who says his love for you is endless as space?" I really liked that she got into a bit of feminist theory and quoted/discussed Germaine Greer. I also thought she had a wonderful observation on the recent prominence of what she describes as the "earth-mother hierarchy"--where the focus on getting back to natural childbirth, home births and midwives forgets that "birth involves danger." Overall, I enjoyed the book a lot. And when I forget about the first half, I love it.
I really did not enjoy the book at first. It wasn't until about halfway through that I really started to not only get into the book, but really even cared about her story. She doesn't really talk about the fistula until the midway point, and I guess I was just waiting for that. It's probably also important to mention that I am not really a fan of "literary memoirs" (as my sister says: it's probably really great. I did not think the first half was great). I prefer the more gritty, real writing to the pretentious, flowery writing that she has. Looking back, I can see that the first half of the book was probably fine; it just didn't really have anything to do with the reason I picked up the book in the first place. One thing I loved, though; is that Johnson has some wonderful phrases that are immensely quotable. Example: "Having children exposes you. I will know who you are when I see how you wish your children to live." And "Isn't it a form of arrogance to assume that misfortune will not personally visit you, or to allow yourself to believe the man who says his love for you is endless as space?" I really liked that she got into a bit of feminist theory and quoted/discussed Germaine Greer. I also thought she had a wonderful observation on the recent prominence of what she describes as the "earth-mother hierarchy"--where the focus on getting back to natural childbirth, home births and midwives forgets that "birth involves danger." Overall, I enjoyed the book a lot. And when I forget about the first half, I love it.
redhickory's review against another edition
3.0
I found this book refreshing in its portrayal of motherhood.
It is about Johnson’s experience of becoming a mother and the impact of getting a recto-vaginal fistula as a result of the births of her two sons and the subsequent treatment she had to undergo – how this impacted her relationships and self-image.
She explores how motherhood changed her life and in particular her place in the world, as a writer, as well as her pre- and post- motherhood views on parenting.
Johnson was candid about her changing feelings about being a mother; she expressed rage, feelings of being helpless and inadequate, as well as feelings of bliss and being overcome by love and protective instincts.
“In reality I am the good mother and I am the bad mother; I am the good woman and the bad woman caught in the same net of skin.” She recognized that motherhood is usually presented through a whimsical, purely joyous filter and rejected that, for the crap it is – yeah!
She also examined the way she had to adjust her attitude to the level of control she exerts on her life and body and her struggle to do this. She called it a kind of arrogance of the young, who all seem to think negative things only happen to other people.
I found this book made me contemplate my own attitudes, which was illuminating.
I found her writing easy to digest and quite poetic at times.
It is about Johnson’s experience of becoming a mother and the impact of getting a recto-vaginal fistula as a result of the births of her two sons and the subsequent treatment she had to undergo – how this impacted her relationships and self-image.
She explores how motherhood changed her life and in particular her place in the world, as a writer, as well as her pre- and post- motherhood views on parenting.
Johnson was candid about her changing feelings about being a mother; she expressed rage, feelings of being helpless and inadequate, as well as feelings of bliss and being overcome by love and protective instincts.
“In reality I am the good mother and I am the bad mother; I am the good woman and the bad woman caught in the same net of skin.” She recognized that motherhood is usually presented through a whimsical, purely joyous filter and rejected that, for the crap it is – yeah!
She also examined the way she had to adjust her attitude to the level of control she exerts on her life and body and her struggle to do this. She called it a kind of arrogance of the young, who all seem to think negative things only happen to other people.
I found this book made me contemplate my own attitudes, which was illuminating.
I found her writing easy to digest and quite poetic at times.
brogan7's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content and Medical trauma
TW: birth trauma; the title. If you chose not to carry a surprise pregnancy to term, you must be an inferior woman?
More...