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rainbowbookworm's review
2.0
Interesante pero sufre de lo que mejor puedo describir con la frase "quien mucho abarca, poco aprieta."
jarcher's review
3.0
I’m torn on this one. On the one hand it was often scattered, but on the other there were some really well argued and beautiful sentiments about our ability to evaluate the honesty of others. The bottom line is that we are absolutely terrible at evaluating the sincerity of others’ emotions, pain, and words, especially if someone is from a culture that is not our own. It’s an incredibly valuable idea to remember as a doctor, but useful for anyone. I thought the diatribe against mid- level practitioners was random and strange, and the opining on the existence of God felt out of place, but much of the rest of the book was moving and often practical.
vaekay's review
dark
reflective
medium-paced
1.5
I found much of this text to be a worthwhile reflection on the asylum-seeking process. As someone born in the United States, I have lived a life that has not yet necessitated seeking asylum in a foreign country; and while I had heard much about the rigorous and traumatizing nature of this process (particularly in the United States and less so in Europe), I did not anticipate the sheer agony, the taught unprofessionalism, and such described by Nayeri. Unlike other reviewers, I did not think that Nayeri discussed the autism spectrum in a way that was offensive (coming from an autistic reviewer), but I understand that many thought that way. What I did find offensive was Nayeri's discussions surrounding her "brother-in-law's" mental health and his subsequent suicide . Some reviewers thought that it was hypocritical considering the issue of Nayeri's work, but I thought that that was intentional as a way of recognizing her own issues with disbelief. However, the way she chose to discuss his mental illness, his search for medicine and religion, his "lack of effort," and so on was truly repulsive. Implying that he was not trying enough and he was an entitled white man who only acted this way for attention and money from his parents (even going as so far as to say he was only trying to kill himself for attention, not because he actually wanted to kill himself, and that it must have been an accident) was just antithetical to the realities of mental illness, which her "brother-in-law" clearly suffered from. Nayeri never really resolves her disbelief although barely recognizing that she maybe could have done better by him but that that would have been inauthentic to her.
Additionally, Nayeri's sweeping assumptions of other people's empathy seemed stupid. Nayeri claims that no one's "empathy" means that they are able to feel another person's pain, but instead they are relieved that they were spared from the other's pain. What the fuck? What Nayeri is describing is literally NOT empathy. Not how empathy is defined, nor how empathy is practiced. Maybe it is "sympathy," but even then, that is a very cruel definition of sympathy. It was apparent to me by the time I finished this text that Nayeri is of low emotional intelligence and low empathy, and she just assumes everyone is the same because she is. What a shallow reflection of human nature for an author!
Additionally, Nayeri's sweeping assumptions of other people's empathy seemed stupid. Nayeri claims that no one's "empathy" means that they are able to feel another person's pain, but instead they are relieved that they were spared from the other's pain. What the fuck? What Nayeri is describing is literally NOT empathy. Not how empathy is defined, nor how empathy is practiced. Maybe it is "sympathy," but even then, that is a very cruel definition of sympathy. It was apparent to me by the time I finished this text that Nayeri is of low emotional intelligence and low empathy, and she just assumes everyone is the same because she is. What a shallow reflection of human nature for an author!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Torture, Trafficking, Xenophobia, Violence, Homophobia, Medical content, Misogyny, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Self harm, Sexual violence, Cancer, Grief, Hate crime, Addiction, Body horror, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Police brutality, Religious bigotry, Gaslighting, Gore, Murder, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Ableism, Antisemitism, Blood, Bullying, Chronic illness, Confinement, Cursing, Death, Excrement, Islamophobia, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Drug use, Racism, Suicide, Vomit, War, Fire/Fire injury, Genocide, Sexism, Deportation, Kidnapping, Medical trauma, and Rape
Moderate: Colonisation, Drug abuse, Classism, Homophobia, Transphobia, and Alcohol
fjette's review
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.0
More personal and less information/research-based than I was expecting. Nayeri is an incredibly powerful writer and unflinchingly honest. I struggled with how she wrote about her lack of sympathy and belief in her brother-in-law, but in the end, her refusal to varnish or change things after the fact struck me as true to how she had described her character, and brave.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Torture and Xenophobia
Moderate: Suicide and Mental illness
oltombom's review
5.0
Thanks to Dreamscape Media through Net Galley who allowed me to listen to the audio version of this book.
This book is shocking, enraging, and excellent. In it, Nayeri, describes the almost impossible task that asylum seekers have in convincing immigration officers of the obvious truth. Nayeri shares numerous stories of asylum seekers who have been tortured and raped being told that they are lying and that their wounds are self-inflicted. They are forced to relive their trauma over and over again to suspicious officials. After all that, they are often rejected. Police interrogators in the U.S. use horrible interrogation techniques to pry false confessions from suspects, who are often minorities. Police are allowed to lie about almost everything. They wear down scared and confused people.
Dina Nayeri also tells the story of her own life. She was born in Iran and her mother converted to an evangelical, pentecostal form of Christianity. Dina’s mother, herself, and her younger brother became refugees and eventually gained access to the United States. Dina struggled to adapt to the United States, which was made harder because she is neurodivergent. Throughout her life she struggled with her belief and her desire to be believed.
This book is enlightening and convicting in many ways. I’m ashamed of the United States and European countries. We need to make our countries worthy of our lofty claims.
I listened to the audio version of this book. It was narrated excellently by Ayesha Antoine who has a wonderful British accent.
This book is shocking, enraging, and excellent. In it, Nayeri, describes the almost impossible task that asylum seekers have in convincing immigration officers of the obvious truth. Nayeri shares numerous stories of asylum seekers who have been tortured and raped being told that they are lying and that their wounds are self-inflicted. They are forced to relive their trauma over and over again to suspicious officials. After all that, they are often rejected. Police interrogators in the U.S. use horrible interrogation techniques to pry false confessions from suspects, who are often minorities. Police are allowed to lie about almost everything. They wear down scared and confused people.
Dina Nayeri also tells the story of her own life. She was born in Iran and her mother converted to an evangelical, pentecostal form of Christianity. Dina’s mother, herself, and her younger brother became refugees and eventually gained access to the United States. Dina struggled to adapt to the United States, which was made harder because she is neurodivergent. Throughout her life she struggled with her belief and her desire to be believed.
This book is enlightening and convicting in many ways. I’m ashamed of the United States and European countries. We need to make our countries worthy of our lofty claims.
I listened to the audio version of this book. It was narrated excellently by Ayesha Antoine who has a wonderful British accent.
taylorthiel's review
3.0
I have so much to say about this book. TLDR: this book SHOULD have been great with a focus on why asylum seekers aren’t believed and how false accusations/confessions under duress occur, but it got bogged down by personal narrative, a lack of cohesiveness, and the author’s weird refusal to believe in someone with mental illness.
What’s good:
The examination of asylum seekers, falsely accused prisoners, and even what causes people to believe or not believe in faiths. There was some harrowing and powerful stuff in here. The stories of how asylum seekers would go through some unimaginable things, only to be accused of lying once they get to America/UK was devastating. I also really appreciated the examination of false accusations/confessions under duress.
Loved the look at how asylum agents/cops are trying to find liars rather than trying to help. Great stuff.
What’s bad:
Anytime the author takes about herself or her family or her own belief. (We get it, you think all religious people are faking/psychotic). Literally, should not have had any memoir material at all (other than her own experience seeking asylum. That was fine.)
Also, the book was super all over the place and the stories got hard to follow. I could manage it, but everything was super weaved together.
What’s really bad?:
The authors refusal to believe her brother in law (BIL) is mentally I’ll. Her double down and defending herself in believing that BIL was faking/attention seeking/not working hard when that BIL literally kill’s himself. Because he was white and kinda affluent, that means, according to the author, he was not allowed to suffer and, in reality, that isn’t how mental illness works. That whole thread of her trying to balance the “faking” BIL with all asylum seekers as truth tellers just did not work. It took away from the gravity and seriousness of how asylum seekers are not taken seriously. Which is a crucial a important focus of this book. But it is so dampened when the author won’t take mental illness seriously because the sufferer falls into a category of people she doesn’t like. He. Literally. Killed. Himself.
What’s good:
The examination of asylum seekers, falsely accused prisoners, and even what causes people to believe or not believe in faiths. There was some harrowing and powerful stuff in here. The stories of how asylum seekers would go through some unimaginable things, only to be accused of lying once they get to America/UK was devastating. I also really appreciated the examination of false accusations/confessions under duress.
Loved the look at how asylum agents/cops are trying to find liars rather than trying to help. Great stuff.
What’s bad:
Anytime the author takes about herself or her family or her own belief. (We get it, you think all religious people are faking/psychotic). Literally, should not have had any memoir material at all (other than her own experience seeking asylum. That was fine.)
Also, the book was super all over the place and the stories got hard to follow. I could manage it, but everything was super weaved together.
What’s really bad?:
The authors refusal to believe her brother in law (BIL) is mentally I’ll. Her double down and defending herself in believing that BIL was faking/attention seeking/not working hard when that BIL literally kill’s himself. Because he was white and kinda affluent, that means, according to the author, he was not allowed to suffer and, in reality, that isn’t how mental illness works. That whole thread of her trying to balance the “faking” BIL with all asylum seekers as truth tellers just did not work. It took away from the gravity and seriousness of how asylum seekers are not taken seriously. Which is a crucial a important focus of this book. But it is so dampened when the author won’t take mental illness seriously because the sufferer falls into a category of people she doesn’t like. He. Literally. Killed. Himself.