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jdemarest's review against another edition
4.0
I would definitely read this and her daughter's memoir, Elena Vanishing. The two books tell the same story for different audience, but I think you really need them both to get the full picture. A story is never one-sided. Some bits of this were slow and felt kind of drawn out. At the time that annoyed me, but in hindsight I wonder if that simply parallels the disease itself. Anorexia is a long, drawn out fight, and it is never simple. I respect the honesty with which Claire tells her story.
maryehavens's review against another edition
1.0
I could not connect with her writing style. I picked up another memoir and immediately started enjoying the work despite the tough subject matter.
If I should, God forbid, be in this situation or similar, I will definitely come back to this book. I think it's a very important work, I just couldn't connect at this time.
If I should, God forbid, be in this situation or similar, I will definitely come back to this book. I think it's a very important work, I just couldn't connect at this time.
teffiedora's review against another edition
4.0
I think this books was a good supplementary story to her daughters memoir, Elena Vanishing. I liked that it was another point of view of the same period of time as this family struggled with Elena's illness. I did like Elena's memoir a little bit more. I thought it was a lot less wordy and more direct. But I feel like they were both accurate and very honest about life for an individual and family who is facing a deadly eating disorder.
lindseymoore14's review against another edition
4.0
I think this book offers a really important perspective on eating disorders because most eating disorder memoirs are written by the person suffering. This book could be very helpful to other parents or loved ones living with someone with an eating disorder. And as someone in recovery from an eating disorder, it was a beneficial read for me because it's very easier to forget or overlook how your disorder is affecting those around you. Obviously, Clare and Elena's experiences aren't going to be the same as everyone else's, but there are still important points and experiences that can resonate with people going through similar things.
liralen's review against another edition
3.0
Hope and Other Luxuries, published in conjunction with [b:Elena Vanishing|22875391|Elena Vanishing|Elena Dunkle|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1432517864s/22875391.jpg|42439849], is rather broader in scope than Elena Vanishing—Vanishing, while it covers various relevant experiences and influences (e.g., boarding school, Valerie's problems), is really only about Elena and Elena's eating disorder; Hope is also about C. Dunkle's childhood and being a parent and becoming a writer.
They're books best read together, as each fills in blanks left by the other and gives the other more context and balance. At times this one felt like too much, though. It's a beast of a memoir at more than 500 pages—C takes her time setting up scenes, rarely skims over things, and devotes large chunks to her fiction writing (including short excerpts). While the fiction is usually relevant, reflective of her state of mind...it's quite a lot of book. (Way, way too many references to 'my imagination', e.g., 'my imagination showed me...')
I'm still struggling with the question of C ghostwriting Elena Vanishing. C talks a fair bit about it here—in particular, about trying to figure out what E's voice is/should be. Again, I know it's probably a better book for having an experienced writer do a lot of the actual writing, but it feels weird to me to have person A determine the voice of person B for person B's memoir. I don't mean to suggest that E had no hand in Vanishing—the voices are actually really distinct, so something worked. But it's striking to me, also, that some of the voices C plays around with in this book are so different from the voice in Vanishing. C describes E as having a 'cocky attitude' (428), which feels true to Vanishing, but we also get things like this:
That's one of C's early attempts at characterising E for E's memoir (I think—it's possible that it came from E's journals, but it's not clear), and maybe the smugness is why I had such a hard time with E's voice in Vanishing. Makes me think that C doesn't necessarily have a great sense of eating disorders in general, or E's more specifically...though I suppose that's largely speculation.
But, well. Other things to consider: I loved that the prologue made it clear that eating disorders aren't one-time things, that E's better but not cured, but I couldn't place the prologue within the context of the epilogue. The latter ends with, while the prologue starts with My daughter Elena called me up last week, crying. She's twenty-four now, and she just broke up with a boyfriend she needed to break up with (2).
If you read one of these books I'd highly recommend reading the other along with it. C's a good writer with a strong sense of tying multiple storylines together, and the one informs the other. And...I learned the word Kettenraucher, which means that my German vocabulary has increased ever so slightly without getting even remotely more practical.
My review for Elena Vanishing can be found here.
They're books best read together, as each fills in blanks left by the other and gives the other more context and balance. At times this one felt like too much, though. It's a beast of a memoir at more than 500 pages—C takes her time setting up scenes, rarely skims over things, and devotes large chunks to her fiction writing (including short excerpts). While the fiction is usually relevant, reflective of her state of mind...it's quite a lot of book. (Way, way too many references to 'my imagination', e.g., 'my imagination showed me...')
I'm still struggling with the question of C ghostwriting Elena Vanishing. C talks a fair bit about it here—in particular, about trying to figure out what E's voice is/should be. Again, I know it's probably a better book for having an experienced writer do a lot of the actual writing, but it feels weird to me to have person A determine the voice of person B for person B's memoir. I don't mean to suggest that E had no hand in Vanishing—the voices are actually really distinct, so something worked. But it's striking to me, also, that some of the voices C plays around with in this book are so different from the voice in Vanishing. C describes E as having a 'cocky attitude' (428), which feels true to Vanishing, but we also get things like this:
For every woman who sighs to her girlfriends, "If I could just drop fifteen pounds"—check this, bitches, I'm proof that you could. For every girl who cracks on Day Three of the diet and wolfs that chocolate shake—tough for you, babe, here's what you could have had. I'm all your insecurities, the ones you try to pretend don't matter—but the minute you see me, they do.
Hey, we all feel them. I'm just the one who's strong enough to do something about them. The rest of you, you don't have the drive. You don't want it badly enough.
You're not willing to die.
I am. (428-429)
That's one of C's early attempts at characterising E for E's memoir (I think—it's possible that it came from E's journals, but it's not clear), and maybe the smugness is why I had such a hard time with E's voice in Vanishing. Makes me think that C doesn't necessarily have a great sense of eating disorders in general, or E's more specifically...though I suppose that's largely speculation.
But, well. Other things to consider: I loved that the prologue made it clear that eating disorders aren't one-time things, that E's better but not cured, but I couldn't place the prologue within the context of the epilogue. The latter ends with
Spoiler
E getting marriedIf you read one of these books I'd highly recommend reading the other along with it. C's a good writer with a strong sense of tying multiple storylines together, and the one informs the other. And...I learned the word Kettenraucher, which means that my German vocabulary has increased ever so slightly without getting even remotely more practical.
My review for Elena Vanishing can be found here.
sylvimblack's review against another edition
5.0
This book was so good! I loved how I could see what Clare was seeing and feel what she was feeling through her beautiful descriptions. I want to come back to this book when I'm older and have more life experience to see how my point of view has changed.
cherryactually's review
3.5
the writing style was stunning, no doubt clare dunkle is an award-winning writer. BUT: i kind of felt like the beginning was a little slow, and the actual experience with the eating disorder started about a hundred pages in. but i do understand the necessity to discuss what she did early on. it just felt like it was going to go on forever. BUT 2.0: the ending was so abrupt? she told elena and her suffering in detail, but totally glossed over the entire recovery process when, i feel like (as a reader in recovery for anorexia) was such the most important story to tell. she just made it out so sound, "recovery is possible," then ended the book. again, beautiful writing, though. it would have been great if she described elena's recovery and her experience with it with the same hopeful optimism that she showed in majority of the book. it almost seemed like she got lazy by the end. anyway, i kind of want to reread elena vanishing now. 😤
rosienreads's review against another edition
4.0
‘Hope and Other Luxuries’ tells of the author’s experiences as she witnesses her daughter’s battle with Anorexia Nervosa. It explores her fears, hopes and own mental health over the years that her daughter struggles.
I particularly enjoyed reading this after reading ‘Elena Vanishing’, which tells the same story but through the daughter’s perspective. Both versions are very different, from style of writing to their actions and thoughts and feelings.
Alongside her perspective of Elena’s eating disorder, Clare includes her own, personal experiences with mental disorders and doctors. These are presented alongside scenes of her writing, clearly showing how all the events affected her career as an author as well as her coping strategies.
This was a powerfully affecting book. It really demonstrates the devastation that Anorexia Nervosa can cause, both in the individual and on their family. It shows that there is no straightforward cure and recovery can often be something very far away. The treatment of the family by the doctors and psychiatrist was also quite disturbing. As someone who considered a career in clinical psychology, the fact that some of the psychiatrists and psychologists that the Dunkle family went to completely disregarded the family and were even abusive in some situations was incredibly disheartening.
I would really recommend reading this book. It is a fascinating read and I really found myself getting fully invested in the family’s struggles. If you do read it, try and read ‘Elena Vanishing’, the companion novel. Together, the two books give a comprehensive picture of life with Anorexia Nervosa.
I particularly enjoyed reading this after reading ‘Elena Vanishing’, which tells the same story but through the daughter’s perspective. Both versions are very different, from style of writing to their actions and thoughts and feelings.
Alongside her perspective of Elena’s eating disorder, Clare includes her own, personal experiences with mental disorders and doctors. These are presented alongside scenes of her writing, clearly showing how all the events affected her career as an author as well as her coping strategies.
This was a powerfully affecting book. It really demonstrates the devastation that Anorexia Nervosa can cause, both in the individual and on their family. It shows that there is no straightforward cure and recovery can often be something very far away. The treatment of the family by the doctors and psychiatrist was also quite disturbing. As someone who considered a career in clinical psychology, the fact that some of the psychiatrists and psychologists that the Dunkle family went to completely disregarded the family and were even abusive in some situations was incredibly disheartening.
I would really recommend reading this book. It is a fascinating read and I really found myself getting fully invested in the family’s struggles. If you do read it, try and read ‘Elena Vanishing’, the companion novel. Together, the two books give a comprehensive picture of life with Anorexia Nervosa.
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