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segreene111's review against another edition
5.0
This book is easily the most important book I've read all year, and one that is desperately needed in the evangelical Christian world. The authors, a gay son and his theology professor father, cut through many of the stereotypes and caricatures of both the LGBTQ community and the evangelical Christian world. Ultimately, they model and demonstrate how people can truly love each other and live in peace with one another -- even in the midst of strong disagreement. As they say in the book, putting relationships first is the most important thing in life.
This is a MUST READ if you are struggling with your gay or lesbian child coming out to you.
While I loved the book and I do not want to pick on the beautiful and engaging story of these two men, I do want to offer a couple of critiques of the book and their portrayal of their story:
Primarily, Drew's experience of growing up in a theological conservative, evangelical Christian home is FAR different than that of many American Christians. While theologically conservative, Brad and his family were definitely not fundamentalist. They encouraged their children to engage in the arts, culture, literature, and history. They encouraged questioning and intellectual conversation. They allowed their son to participate in activities that did not conform to gender stereotypes. They gave them freedom to fail and make mistakes. While I'm so glad Drew was able to experience this kind of life growing up, unfortunately, that is not the same story of many of my peers (both gay and straight). Because of this, I think that the audience they are targeting is severely limited: to those non-affirming Christians that are also open-minded and non-judgmental.
Secondly, I don't like how they brushed over Drew's struggles with substance abuse and his promiscuous lifestyle. I know that they mentioned that they didn't want take away from the point of the book, but it almost seemed like they were trying to gloss it over or make into "not a big deal."
It is difficult because while--on the one hand--I realize that they are merely telling their own story, it is NOT the story of most gay children of Christian parents. Not all parents are as cool about it as the Harpers. Not all gay children ultimately grow up to reject their parent's faith. They never intentionally TRY to claim that they are the standard for Christian parents with gay children, but it does seem like they are setting up a model or a precedent for others to follow.
This is a MUST READ if you are struggling with your gay or lesbian child coming out to you.
While I loved the book and I do not want to pick on the beautiful and engaging story of these two men, I do want to offer a couple of critiques of the book and their portrayal of their story:
Primarily, Drew's experience of growing up in a theological conservative, evangelical Christian home is FAR different than that of many American Christians. While theologically conservative, Brad and his family were definitely not fundamentalist. They encouraged their children to engage in the arts, culture, literature, and history. They encouraged questioning and intellectual conversation. They allowed their son to participate in activities that did not conform to gender stereotypes. They gave them freedom to fail and make mistakes. While I'm so glad Drew was able to experience this kind of life growing up, unfortunately, that is not the same story of many of my peers (both gay and straight). Because of this, I think that the audience they are targeting is severely limited: to those non-affirming Christians that are also open-minded and non-judgmental.
Secondly, I don't like how they brushed over Drew's struggles with substance abuse and his promiscuous lifestyle. I know that they mentioned that they didn't want take away from the point of the book, but it almost seemed like they were trying to gloss it over or make into "not a big deal."
It is difficult because while--on the one hand--I realize that they are merely telling their own story, it is NOT the story of most gay children of Christian parents. Not all parents are as cool about it as the Harpers. Not all gay children ultimately grow up to reject their parent's faith. They never intentionally TRY to claim that they are the standard for Christian parents with gay children, but it does seem like they are setting up a model or a precedent for others to follow.
bookanonjeff's review against another edition
5.0
Amazing story. This tale of a father and son finding each other even despite major differences is particularly poignant as I drive to my parents' house for Father's Day. Great book regardless, made even more special by the timing.
blakey_boy's review against another edition
this book is [very] far from perfect but it did give me and my parents a starting point for communication so for that it was worth a read i guess. it has some problematic elements but i’ll spare you the details—leaving those out of the review and keeping ‘em in the therapy room tehe
xtinamariet's review
5.0
An achingly transparent and challenging book for evangelical Christians who are not sure what to do about gay people. Brad Harper has practical advice for what it ACTUALLY means to love an LGBT person while holding a traditional perspective. while the book is also aimed at gay children of evangelicals, I'm not sure I would recommend it to them -- Drew's close relationship to his evangelical dad is unusual in general and especially for an LGBT person, so his advice to kids is colored by that.
vanessav's review
5.0
It is painful to read about how faith communities can hurt the LGBTQ+ community on such a personal level. Parts of this book broke my heart while reading. But it is important to read accounts like this one and it does give hope for ways of reconciliation. Read it. Especially if you are Christian. Even more so if you're a Christian who doesn't have much contact with the LGBTQ+ community.
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