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andiabcs's review
3.0
I wasn't as crazy about this one as I have been by other Gurtler books. Kya was super annoying and Grace needed more if a backbone. However, the cute boy saved it some star points. Oh, and I'm majorly craving Nerds now.
rosepetals1984's review
2.0
Quick review for a quick read. In all honesty, I get the value of Janet Gurtler's "How I Lost You" and I'm not going to say that it isn't a notable book, because I don't doubt some will like it for not only the way the narrative flows but also the ultimate takeaway points and experiences it expounds upon. However, it's a narrative I honestly wouldn't read again and I had a hard time connecting to the story for reasons I'm going to discuss shortly.
"How I Lost You" is a narrative that shows the progressive falling out of two friends: Grace and Kya. Grace is the perspective we follow throughout the novel and the novel starts off showing their relationship very well. The two seem inseparable with playing in paintball matches, asserting their girl power and the strength of their friendship (Buds Before Studs - BBS). But as the narrative moves onward, you quickly realize that this friendship is not as strong in its foundation as you would think. Kya is a very flawed young woman who has suffered greatly in her past. Grace feels a protective responsibility towards Kya and when Kya goes from one problematic relationship to the next and ends up in a number of drunken stupors, Grace is there to help Kya through the guilt and regret she feels in the aftermath. But Grace also notices that Kya seems to be distancing herself from their mutual friend James and she's not sure why.
Things change when Grace begins a relationship with Levi. It's beginning a relationship with him that Grace realizes she's doesn't really focus as much on herself as she does her relationship with Kya. And it's in starting to take a more careful eye to the way that Kya changes that Grace realizes that her friend isn't someone she knows as well as she thinks she does and despite her attempts to hold on, they're pulling apart.
I think a few of my biggest problems with this narrative were that I didn't feel as invested in the characters as much as I was hoping for. I know they're teenagers, aspiring to go to college, but there's a mismatch with the maturity and their respective voices that makes it hard for me to align with the narrative despite how serious and mature the subject matters are presented here. The dialogue at times felt too forced and judgmentally handed down to orient to the change in the relationship between Grace and Kya.
And as goodness awful as Kya was to Grace in many points in this narrative (I ended up hating her for the things she did by the end of the story, and I didn't blame Grace for eventually making the choice to walk away), I honestly felt like Grace's reactions, instead of just focusing on the things that Kya did that were horrible, were counterintiutive by low-key sexually shaming Kya and handing down some sexual innuendo/humor that made me uncomfortable as I was reading this. I felt like the execution of these issues could've been so much better for depth and sensitivity of portrayal than what it came across. After a time, it felt like the drama between the characters came across in a way that, while I believe it could certainly happen in real life, it didn't connect with me. I think another reason why it didn't work with me is because despite the fact that this narrative sports a girl-girl positive relationship - it really isn't at all, because the girls can be horrible in thoughts and actions to each other, sometimes in seemingly unforgivable ways. I raged when Kya basically dismissed a sexual assault attempt on Grace and told her that she wished Grace had a similar experience to understand the pain that she was going through. That was inexcusable and I had a hard time believing that Grace wouldn't have had a stronger reaction to that.
To give another narrative that I think handled the character emotions and respective issues similar to the flaws that Kya has in this narrative, but in a more mature sense: Amber Smith's "The Way I Used to Be." Granted it tells the story of a very flawed young woman who goes through a similar experience to Kya in this tale, and shows her progressive falling in and out of relationships with a more visceral and serious feel than I was able to get out of this narrative.
Overall, I did at least appreciate the intention the narrative was going for, but I couldn't get behind it and it's my least liked narrative from Gurtler thus far.
Overall score: 2/5 stars.
Note: I received this as an ARC from NetGalley, from the publisher.
"How I Lost You" is a narrative that shows the progressive falling out of two friends: Grace and Kya. Grace is the perspective we follow throughout the novel and the novel starts off showing their relationship very well. The two seem inseparable with playing in paintball matches, asserting their girl power and the strength of their friendship (Buds Before Studs - BBS). But as the narrative moves onward, you quickly realize that this friendship is not as strong in its foundation as you would think. Kya is a very flawed young woman who has suffered greatly in her past.
Spoiler
(She was raped, and I guessed this pretty much from the second chapter. I'm not exactly sure why this took so many chapters to reveal, since it was implied.)Things change when Grace begins a relationship with Levi. It's beginning a relationship with him that Grace realizes she's doesn't really focus as much on herself as she does her relationship with Kya. And it's in starting to take a more careful eye to the way that Kya changes that Grace realizes that her friend isn't someone she knows as well as she thinks she does and despite her attempts to hold on, they're pulling apart.
I think a few of my biggest problems with this narrative were that I didn't feel as invested in the characters as much as I was hoping for. I know they're teenagers, aspiring to go to college, but there's a mismatch with the maturity and their respective voices that makes it hard for me to align with the narrative despite how serious and mature the subject matters are presented here. The dialogue at times felt too forced and judgmentally handed down to orient to the change in the relationship between Grace and Kya.
And as goodness awful as Kya was to Grace in many points in this narrative (I ended up hating her for the things she did by the end of the story, and I didn't blame Grace for eventually making the choice to walk away), I honestly felt like Grace's reactions, instead of just focusing on the things that Kya did that were horrible, were counterintiutive by low-key sexually shaming Kya and handing down some sexual innuendo/humor that made me uncomfortable as I was reading this. I felt like the execution of these issues could've been so much better for depth and sensitivity of portrayal than what it came across. After a time, it felt like the drama between the characters came across in a way that, while I believe it could certainly happen in real life, it didn't connect with me. I think another reason why it didn't work with me is because despite the fact that this narrative sports a girl-girl positive relationship - it really isn't at all, because the girls can be horrible in thoughts and actions to each other, sometimes in seemingly unforgivable ways. I raged when Kya basically dismissed a sexual assault attempt on Grace and told her that she wished Grace had a similar experience to understand the pain that she was going through. That was inexcusable and I had a hard time believing that Grace wouldn't have had a stronger reaction to that.
To give another narrative that I think handled the character emotions and respective issues similar to the flaws that Kya has in this narrative, but in a more mature sense: Amber Smith's "The Way I Used to Be." Granted it tells the story of a very flawed young woman who goes through a similar experience to Kya in this tale, and shows her progressive falling in and out of relationships with a more visceral and serious feel than I was able to get out of this narrative.
Overall, I did at least appreciate the intention the narrative was going for, but I couldn't get behind it and it's my least liked narrative from Gurtler thus far.
Overall score: 2/5 stars.
Note: I received this as an ARC from NetGalley, from the publisher.
bibliocat4's review
3.0
3.5 stars - pretty good story and the characters were good-I wish James had been more central and developed. I liked Grace and her spirit.
baancs's review
2.5
I had an image of her on a lifeboat, hanging on to it by her fingernails. I was slipping too. And truth stared me in the face. As I strained to pull her in and keep her afloat, she was starting to drag me under.
Explores how far one could go for a friend and how we sometimes lose sight of ourselves while trying to save someone else. I like the takeaway but couldn't connect with the characters. And I didn't like the low-key slut shaming that was going on all throughout.
sonshinelibrarian's review
4.0
This was a solid addition to Gurtler's works. I enjoyed it. The characters weren't quite as engaging as others of hers, but still an interesting story grappling with really challenging issues. There were a couple of things that didn't ring as true to me, but I think it was because they felt rushed and wedged in rather than an organic outplay of the story and there were some things that were never addressed that bothered me for the lack of resolution.
However, I love her writing style and I really like the fact that she deals with these issues in a hopeful yet realistic way.
However, I love her writing style and I really like the fact that she deals with these issues in a hopeful yet realistic way.
kristymarief's review
4.0
I was so excited to hear that Janet is Canadian! I love reading books by Canadians, because I almost feel like I can connect with them more and they always have little Canadian jokes in there, which I find so cute and funny. I adored How I Lost You and am so thankful I had the chance to read it! Thank you Book Nerd Tours and Janet Gurtler!
Gurtler really knows how to tell a story. How I Lost You is strong on the characters and the reader can really feel for the characters in the story. I loved Grace. She was relatable and easy to like, but still a typical teen. Her hormones around Levi, the guy from Vancouver (BONUS POINTS FOR THAT), were sometimes really funny, just because of how she reacted to him and I loved her protectiveness of Kya. Grace kind of reminds me of my best friend in some ways, so I loved her a lot! I loved that the main focus of this book was friendship. I've never really read a book like that, so it was kind of cool!
I also loved the fact that their hobby was paintball! That was such a unique element to the book and I really appreciated that Gurtler didn't have their sport be something typical like soccer or basketball. I've never read anything about paintball, so it was really neat!
This was a very powerful book about friendship and how much one friend will do for the other and I really and truly loved it. It was well written, cute but intense and it had a few little Canadian jokes that made my day. (I do not say oot instead of out, thank you very much!)
I'd recommend this book to anyone looking for a great read for the spring time, to do with friends and a really cute romance!
Gurtler really knows how to tell a story. How I Lost You is strong on the characters and the reader can really feel for the characters in the story. I loved Grace. She was relatable and easy to like, but still a typical teen. Her hormones around Levi, the guy from Vancouver (BONUS POINTS FOR THAT), were sometimes really funny, just because of how she reacted to him and I loved her protectiveness of Kya. Grace kind of reminds me of my best friend in some ways, so I loved her a lot! I loved that the main focus of this book was friendship. I've never really read a book like that, so it was kind of cool!
I also loved the fact that their hobby was paintball! That was such a unique element to the book and I really appreciated that Gurtler didn't have their sport be something typical like soccer or basketball. I've never read anything about paintball, so it was really neat!
This was a very powerful book about friendship and how much one friend will do for the other and I really and truly loved it. It was well written, cute but intense and it had a few little Canadian jokes that made my day. (I do not say oot instead of out, thank you very much!)
I'd recommend this book to anyone looking for a great read for the spring time, to do with friends and a really cute romance!