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trin's review against another edition
4.0
The story of how sex columnist Savage and his boyfriend Terry try to decide whether they want to get married. Not as focused or quite as good as [b: The Kid|389627|Diary of a Wimpy Kid (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, #1)|Jeff Kinney|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1388183826s/389627.jpg|2617009], as much of the book involves Dan and Terry and Dan's mom and Dan and Terry's son D.J. and Dan and Terry's various other relatives going back and forth (and back and forth) on the issue, giving the narrative less forward momentum and impetus than the other book. Still, I really enjoyed Savage's frank, intelligent, humorous, but impassioned analysis of the issues at hand, and the insights into his life as well. (The story about the margaritas was so good I had to share it soon after reading.) I'm looking forward to reading more of Savage's work.
bhnmt61's review against another edition
4.0
This is the third book of Savage's that I've read in as many months, and it's the one I'm most conflicted about. If I'd put the book down at any of several different points, I might have rated it five stars or three or even two.
When I was reading the first section next to my sleeping spouse, it was all I could do not to wake him up laughing. But then there was the part where, while walking through the Seattle Wedding Expo, he makes sweeping generalizations about all women wanting fairy princess weddings and how weddings are all about women and what women want. Well, it was a wedding expo. The women who want lowkey, non-princessy weddings are not going to be there. He might be interested to know that the person who nixed my desire to have a small, casual wedding was my dad.
And then there was the middle section, filled with vitriolic screed against anti-gay bigots. How can he piss me off when I completely agree with him? I wondered, but somehow he did. Savage is at his best when he's telling stories of his childhood or his family and he's poking fun at himself as much as he is the people around him. But when he starts ranting about the bigots, he somehow crosses over some line that just turns me off, even though I deeply, completely agree with him.
But the beginning and the ending--where he relates in comic detail the interactions between him, Terry, and their son D.J., are genius. The scene where they are examining their rings while D.J. sleeps between them at the end had me all choked up.
So, it's a mixed bag. The one thing I can always count on from Dan, though, is that he makes me think. I value monogamy far more than he does, but thinking through his arguments against it ended up deepening and enlarging my perspective on my own long-term marriage. The Commitment is well worth reading for that alone.
When I was reading the first section next to my sleeping spouse, it was all I could do not to wake him up laughing. But then there was the part where, while walking through the Seattle Wedding Expo, he makes sweeping generalizations about all women wanting fairy princess weddings and how weddings are all about women and what women want. Well, it was a wedding expo. The women who want lowkey, non-princessy weddings are not going to be there. He might be interested to know that the person who nixed my desire to have a small, casual wedding was my dad.
And then there was the middle section, filled with vitriolic screed against anti-gay bigots. How can he piss me off when I completely agree with him? I wondered, but somehow he did. Savage is at his best when he's telling stories of his childhood or his family and he's poking fun at himself as much as he is the people around him. But when he starts ranting about the bigots, he somehow crosses over some line that just turns me off, even though I deeply, completely agree with him.
But the beginning and the ending--where he relates in comic detail the interactions between him, Terry, and their son D.J., are genius. The scene where they are examining their rings while D.J. sleeps between them at the end had me all choked up.
So, it's a mixed bag. The one thing I can always count on from Dan, though, is that he makes me think. I value monogamy far more than he does, but thinking through his arguments against it ended up deepening and enlarging my perspective on my own long-term marriage. The Commitment is well worth reading for that alone.
artemisd6's review
Very judgmental and political in beginning of book.. couldn’t get past that.
coleycole's review against another edition
3.0
I really enjoy Dan Savage but the reader of this audiobook was annoying so I couldn't get into it...
jayraams's review against another edition
3.0
This is a sweet reflection on the author's journey to the altar, I am glad DJ came around.
christiana's review against another edition
2.0
Dan Savage reminds me of that guy at a party. You know, the guy who starts talking and seems pretty interesting. You heard about him from your friends and his life is atypical. You wouldn't mind hearing a little about it. But then he opens his mouth and you realize how self-congratulatory he is and that (Dan hopes) you're just there to marvel at him. Suddenly, you can't get away. You search over his shoulder while he drones on, looking for an escape method, but no one comes. He doesn't even notice your lack of interest and negative body language, he just plows on. He manages to alienate you (even though you agree with a lot of his core beliefs!) by picking on EVERYONE, even people who agree with him. And he manages to say it three different ways. Because of this, I am unsure who Savage wrote this book for.
There's a point where Dan Savage mocks Catholics, saying that they go to church service and then go right on using contraceptives. He then goes on to say (in a different part of the book) Catholics are a big part of the problems affecting homosexuals because everyone follows the rules to the t. No, Dan, you can't have it both ways. And in the process, no one wants to understand your thought process anymore after you refuse to understand other people's points of views and systems.
Listen, I think Dan Savage is great, even if it doesn't sound like it. I love the It Gets Better Project and that it exists. I think his life sounds pretty great. I'm glad he's around. I just don't ever want to read his books (especially not on audio, it was like the man kept yelling at me in the car) ever again.
There's a point where Dan Savage mocks Catholics, saying that they go to church service and then go right on using contraceptives. He then goes on to say (in a different part of the book) Catholics are a big part of the problems affecting homosexuals because everyone follows the rules to the t. No, Dan, you can't have it both ways. And in the process, no one wants to understand your thought process anymore after you refuse to understand other people's points of views and systems.
Listen, I think Dan Savage is great, even if it doesn't sound like it. I love the It Gets Better Project and that it exists. I think his life sounds pretty great. I'm glad he's around. I just don't ever want to read his books (especially not on audio, it was like the man kept yelling at me in the car) ever again.
jgintrovertedreader's review against another edition
4.0
As the "gay marriage debate" was heating up back in oh, 2005, Dan Savage and his boyfriend (they dislike the word partner) were in the middle of their own debate. Should they or shouldn't they? They'd been together ten years, they'd adopted a son together, neither had any intention of leaving the relationship, they fully believed that gays and lesbians should have the right to get married, they just weren't sure that marriage was for them. They talk it over, going back and forth, receiving lots of input in favor of marriage from Dan's mom, and against marriage from their 5-year-old son.
Honestly, I read this for a book challenge I'm trying to complete before the end of the year. I think I saw Dan Savage once on Real Time with Bill Maher but other than that he's not on my radar. I keep my political opinions to myself. Has anyone ever changed the mind of someone else in a political argument? I think not. So let's just say that I'm a happily-married heterosexual female who thinks that gay people should be allowed to get married. And that's all I'll say about that.
Savage's memoir is, for the most part, hilarious, brutally honest, and straight to the point. He points out the fallacies in the tired old arguments trotted out against gay marriage, takes some potshots at its most vocal opponents, and chronicles his own personal debate within the debate. I laughed most of the way through it.
It did irritate me that Savage has no compunction about casting people around him in broad stereotypes, but at least he admits that he's a close-minded liberal (or something like that anyway). Apparently the entire population of South Dakota is fat, wants to kick his butt simply because he's gay, and doesn't have the mental capacity to read the New York Times. I shudder to think what he says about us Southerners.
If you have the ideology to enjoy this, go ahead and read it. It was entertaining but also a little sad to see that we haven't made much progress in the eight years since this was published.
Honestly, I read this for a book challenge I'm trying to complete before the end of the year. I think I saw Dan Savage once on Real Time with Bill Maher but other than that he's not on my radar. I keep my political opinions to myself. Has anyone ever changed the mind of someone else in a political argument? I think not. So let's just say that I'm a happily-married heterosexual female who thinks that gay people should be allowed to get married. And that's all I'll say about that.
Savage's memoir is, for the most part, hilarious, brutally honest, and straight to the point. He points out the fallacies in the tired old arguments trotted out against gay marriage, takes some potshots at its most vocal opponents, and chronicles his own personal debate within the debate. I laughed most of the way through it.
It did irritate me that Savage has no compunction about casting people around him in broad stereotypes, but at least he admits that he's a close-minded liberal (or something like that anyway). Apparently the entire population of South Dakota is fat, wants to kick his butt simply because he's gay, and doesn't have the mental capacity to read the New York Times. I shudder to think what he says about us Southerners.
If you have the ideology to enjoy this, go ahead and read it. It was entertaining but also a little sad to see that we haven't made much progress in the eight years since this was published.
sparklethenpop's review against another edition
4.0
I kept having to stop and read passages out loud to E because she wanted to know why I was laughing so much.
maryvarn's review against another edition
5.0
Must read for anyone who is, was, or thinks they might someday be, in a long term relationship, regardless of their sexual orientation. Dan Savage is hilarious and smart as always. I can't speak to the book's ability to convince homophobes that gay marriage should be legal, since it was preaching to the choir with me. I will say though that anyone who reads this and isn't at least a little bit moved must have tinfoil for a heart.