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r_lumbrix's review
informative
slow-paced
2.0
This books feels like reading a sales pitch. The idea of using love languages (or “languages of appreciation”) with your colleagues at work is a great way to improve workplace communication & dynamics, but if you’re already familiar with the love languages there’s no need to read this book.
readingicequeen's review against another edition
4.0
Such a good self-help book that every organization and employee should read. I'll definitely be implementing a few of these tactics for my own team.
deanna's review
2.0
I liked this book in theory, but not so much in practice
I agree that money isn't the only factor to liking your job and being happy in your career. No one enjoys working in an toxic environment and most of us will move on to another employer if we are able. I agree we want to feel appreciated in our workplaces and we all have different ways of expressing gratitude in the workplace but this book is just saying what any mature adult should already know.
The book includes a code for an online test for determining your primary and secondary language of appreciation as well as which one you're least responsive. After hearing the names of the five appreciation languages, I accurately guessed mine. You probably can, too, so save your time and money.
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Acts of Service
4. Tangible Gifts
5. Physical Touch
When I got started and had to read through three chapters of Chapman and White trying to sell me the book that had already been bought, I knew this was going to be a chore to get through. Even within the five chapters dedicated to each language, there is a staggering amount of self-promotion and superfluous descriptions for each language and examples of how to implement each. Is it really that hard to understand what affirmative words are or how to spend quality time with someone? Well, considering my boss initially second guessed his decision to have us all read this once he saw that 'Physical Touch' was on the list, I guess other readers may disagree with me on the necessity of explaining that physical touch doesn't equate sexual contact. Even Chapman and White bent over backwards to explain the difference between appropriate physical touch and sexual harassment, but that could've also just have been to pad the word count.
Ultimately, I disagree with the notion that we can only value expression of gratitude through our "primary appreciation language." I think I'm more on board with the fact that we each have a preferred way of communicating our thanks. If a person in my office normally never expresses gratitude came up to me one day and expressed it in my "least favored appreciation language" it would mean just as much to me as if they had done so in my favorite language.
I agree that money isn't the only factor to liking your job and being happy in your career. No one enjoys working in an toxic environment and most of us will move on to another employer if we are able. I agree we want to feel appreciated in our workplaces and we all have different ways of expressing gratitude in the workplace but this book is just saying what any mature adult should already know.
The book includes a code for an online test for determining your primary and secondary language of appreciation as well as which one you're least responsive. After hearing the names of the five appreciation languages, I accurately guessed mine. You probably can, too, so save your time and money.
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Acts of Service
4. Tangible Gifts
5. Physical Touch
When I got started and had to read through three chapters of Chapman and White trying to sell me the book that had already been bought, I knew this was going to be a chore to get through. Even within the five chapters dedicated to each language, there is a staggering amount of self-promotion and superfluous descriptions for each language and examples of how to implement each. Is it really that hard to understand what affirmative words are or how to spend quality time with someone? Well, considering my boss initially second guessed his decision to have us all read this once he saw that 'Physical Touch' was on the list, I guess other readers may disagree with me on the necessity of explaining that physical touch doesn't equate sexual contact. Even Chapman and White bent over backwards to explain the difference between appropriate physical touch and sexual harassment, but that could've also just have been to pad the word count.
Ultimately, I disagree with the notion that we can only value expression of gratitude through our "primary appreciation language." I think I'm more on board with the fact that we each have a preferred way of communicating our thanks. If a person in my office normally never expresses gratitude came up to me one day and expressed it in my "least favored appreciation language" it would mean just as much to me as if they had done so in my favorite language.
careythesixth's review
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Yes, this is a bit dated in parts, and it doesn't address the issue of people simply needing to be paid a living wage with benefits. However, the idea that people give and respond to appreciation in different ways is an important one for all employees (at all levels) to understand and think through.
I think I pretty easily identified my own languages of appreciation. My best is words of encouragement and my worst is tangible gifts (especially now that I manage people - I firmly believe that gifts should flow down from the top of the employment chain, but I've always been bad at receiving gifts because I appreciate them but get embarrassed). But the more important takeaway from this book is that I now have tools to observe and understand my colleagues and what motivates them.
Honestly, this is a solid book for a lot of relationships. The bottom line is pay attention and learn how to read the room. And that's always good advice.
I think I pretty easily identified my own languages of appreciation. My best is words of encouragement and my worst is tangible gifts (especially now that I manage people - I firmly believe that gifts should flow down from the top of the employment chain, but I've always been bad at receiving gifts because I appreciate them but get embarrassed). But the more important takeaway from this book is that I now have tools to observe and understand my colleagues and what motivates them.
Honestly, this is a solid book for a lot of relationships. The bottom line is pay attention and learn how to read the room. And that's always good advice.
maraudererin's review
4.0
Really valuable information. I think understanding how people need to be appreciated in the work place is critical.