Reviews with content warning for Physical abuse - Rootless

Reviews tagging 'Physical abuse'

Rootless by Krystle Zara Appiah

4 reviews

just_one_more_paige's review

emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

I don't know what it was that made me request this book from NetGalley originally. I'd say it was the cover (I mean, look at how gorgeous it is - so striking), but I usually at least skim the blurb...and as I started reading this, I realized that nothing about it seemed familiar. However, sometimes that's for the best. It was in this case, because I was taken completely in by the story and how much of a "surprise" everything about it was. And here we are, with me thanking whatever past self requested this book, and thanking NetGalley and the publisher (Ballantine Books) for granting it.

On a random morning in the Spring, Sam finds that his wife, Efe, has bought a one way ticket to Ghana and left him (and their 4 year old daughter), with "no warning" and no indication of when she'll be back. And we are immediately taken back in time to years before, when Efe moved from Ghana to the UK with her sister to finish her education. Struggling to adjust, and live up to her parents' expectations, Efe meets and finds comfort in Sam's steadiness and clear plans for his future. And we follow Sam and Efe throughout the years as they draft apart and are brought back together, until they eventually get married. But when they face an unplanned pregnancy, they find themselves on opposite sides of what to do next: Sam is thrilled and Efe…is not. Their choices from there lead, inexorably, to Efe fleeing her family and life back to her home country, the support of her sister, and a chance to re-find herself and ground her future in an identity that truly feels right...a future that may or may not include Sam and their child.

First and foremost, this is a *heavy* read. I am going to list all content warnings here at the beginning so that I can include them all, but hopefully without any specific plot spoilers: self-harm (cutting), pregnancy, postpartum depression, extreme bullying (including physical harm/abuse), abortion, death, car accident, stroke/recovery. I think that's the major ones? Anyways, just be aware, going in.

Into the primary review now. Most importantly, I was blown away by this debut novel. Efe is one of the most gorgeously, authentically complex female characters I have read in a long time. She is torn between so many needs and expectations, wanting to maintain relationships with those who are important to her, and facing down the burden of what society expects as well, that she just...loses herself. And even after being supported (like, with some really legitimately solid support) back into a better space, she still finds herself disappearing into that same loss of self and just cannot figure out what she needs to do or say to make her actual, personal, human, needs clear. It's heartbreaking, but so real. And when she finally makes the drastic call to leave it all, because it's that or lose it all (for real, permanently), I just was cheering for her so hard. Watching her entire journey to that juncture, she's just so recognizable (I'm projecting a bit here, but I imagine fairly universally, for women - if not in the exact details/choices she makes, in the way that external pressure to conform to expectations squeezes so much of what makes you an individual, makes you care to keep going/trying). And I loved her for that. But also, it hit me particularly hard, as her specific outlook and feelings about motherhood are very similar to my own. Seeing what happens, as the power in the pull of the tide of societal and cultural expectations, the slow slide into those expectations even if it’s not what you want (because it is overwhelming to fight against alone), leads to motherhood (and everything that happens bearing and raising a child)...it's almost exactly what I don't want, what I fear, and even though I have more clear/outspoken partner support on my behalf, reading it was still emotionally devastating.

Interestingly, I was emotionally responsive, a lot, while reading this. As a person who teaches sex ed, I was so disheartened to see how little awareness there was for pregnancy as a risk of sex, even when prevention steps are taken. I was angry at the doctor for misleading how protective birth control could be. And I was angry when Sam never really considered Efe's position after they found out, even though she had been pretty clear about her feelings. Even more angry because miscommunication is one of my least favorite romance tropes and really, these two entered a relationship while skirting around this very central issue (having kids) and just hoping and assuming the other would come around to their side...when has that ever worked? And OMG I was angry when Sam was pissed off and offended and unforgiving when Efe ended up taking decisions into her own hands because even knowing, for years, how she felt, he refused to consider any options that she needed/asked for. Like, that's not betrayal, she told you and you never even entertained it with a conversation! Get out of here with that shit. It was almost worse that he was written in so many other ways like a "perfect" guy, written as such purposefully and accurately (hats off to Appiah), yet still gave no true space to let Efe speak and act on her motherhood and mental health (and bodily and life) needs. Yikes - I got going there and it just spiraled. See? Told you I was emotionally invested. Phew!

Back to a more even-keeled area. I thought Appiah did a great job tracing the rise and fall, the ebbs and flows, of mental health challenges over the course of a lifetime with a variety of supportive styles showcased alongside. I also loved the many ways that creative outlets are highlighted as helpful in working through mental health challenges. There was a really wonderfully written literary parallel between Efe and Sam's mother, Rebecca, which did great things for the narrative development and the nuance of Sam as a character in his own right, and not just in relation to Efe. And in general, I felt like the family members for both Efe and Sam, the primary side characters in this novel, were all solid in their own rights. I also enjoyed the multicultural setting, the UK and Ghana, and how they were intertwined and both provided refuge and pressure and reinforcement in different ways, positive and not, in turn, throughout.

The sense of dread that built in me with the chapters bringing us closer to "the event" was palpable, y'all. That is quality writing. And when it happens...it's my only criticism with the book. I just. It was so good, so nuanced, so well written and developed, and I could gush for a while longer, but you get it. And then. I don't know. I'm not a writer and I assume finding the right ending is tough. But this, this was so hard for me to swallow. Like, it's not not possible. Honestly, it's believable. Things like that happen all the time, everywhere. And yet. I was so bought in to Efe and Sam and felt like I was cheated out of a real resolution. I'm trying so hard not to give spoilers (it's hard). But it just crushed the story arc for me. And I hate that that happened. Don't get me wrong though, I sure did cry. Especially at the photo scene. Ooooof. So, I guess I was still at least partially emotionally invested.

Overall, this was a surprisingly tragic, but in a very genuine real-life way, star-crossed childhood sweethearts novel. And like I said, one of the best-written female characters I have read in a long time. I can't believe this is a debut and I will be keeping my eye out for more for Appiah. If you've been considering this one, or even if you've never heard of it before but it sounds interesting, you should definitely give it a go.

"She was charmed by the notion that beauty could not be isolated from its culture or history."

"Love and regret aren't mutually exclusive."

"People - even the ones who love you - can be a weight around your neck. You just have to choose which weights you want to carry."

"I wonder why we [...] measure a woman's strength by the amount she is able to endure?"

"He is learning to throw away his plans, to let himself get swept up in all the unexpected parts of this life."

"But raw and bleeding things are still alive."

Content Warnings

nbreezy17's review against another edition

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emotional sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

amandalorianxo's review

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challenging reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect from this debut except a couple at odds when it came to wanting to continue their marriage. However, this is way heavier than I anticipated and I had to stop reading every once in a while not to plunge deep into the depths of the sadness. I feel like the author , while she should be commended for this debut and wring it in the way she did, did a slight disservice going backwards for the storyline. I don’t really feel like I was able to get a good grasp of who the main characters are. Sam vaguely reminded me of the same Sam from Someday, Maybe except he’d black & from Ghana. The ending also didn’t make a lot of sense to me. I know Efe felt trapped and stuck but that way out ? It was heart breaking to read.

Content Warnings

nordstina's review

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emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

Rootless is a moving debut novel by Krystle Zara Appiah about marriage and familial expectations. At the beginning of the book we meet Sam who comes home to find that his wife Efe has left him and their daughter and provides no way for him to contact her. The book then travels back in time nineteen years when Efe moves from Ghana to the UK with her sister for a British education. It then progresses a year or so in each subsequent chapter up to the book's opening scene before moving ahead in time. It is an effective strategy to build up to Efe's decision to leave the UK again for Ghana. We get glimpses into familial expectations for Efe in terms of schooling (she should excel and chose a successful career path) and relationships/parenthood (she should marry a Ghanian man with strong career aspirations and have many children). Efe struggles with those expectations and Appiah does a great job highlighting how these take on toll on Efe's mental well-being. Efe is a multi-dimensional character- the reader sympathizes with what she is going through and also can be frustrated with the actions she does and does not take. We see Efe and Sam's friendship slowly turn into something else. On the surface, everyone is excited for the match. They are both Ghanian and Sam has a promising career ahead. But cracks begin to show and while the two of them have bonded over traumatic experiences in the past, their visions for their future diverge and it comes to a breaking point for Efe.

The ending section of the book seemed to come out of left field for me, but that did not take away from the broader story Appiah lays out. This is a strong debut from Appiah and I am looking forward to her next work.

Thank you to Ballantine Books (Random House) via NetGalley for the advance reader copy in exchange for honest review.

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