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kelly_e's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Title: Before I Let You Go
Author: Kelly Rimmer
Genre: Fiction
Rating: 4.50
Pub Date: April 3, 2018
T H R E E • W O R D S
Profound • Tragic • Reflective
📖 S Y N O P S I S
The 2:00 a.m. call is the first time Lexie Vidler has heard her sister's voice in years. Annie is a drug addict, a thief, a liar--and in trouble, again. Lexie has always bailed Annie out, given her money, a place to sleep, sent her to every kind of rehab. But this time, she's not just strung out--she's pregnant and in premature labor. If she goes to the hospital, she'll lose custody of her baby--maybe even go to prison. But the alternative is unthinkable.
As the weeks unfold, Lexie finds herself caring for her fragile newborn niece while her carefully ordered life is collapsing around her. She's in danger of losing her job, and her fiancé only has so much patience for Annie's drama. In court-ordered rehab, Annie attempts to halt her downward spiral by confronting long-buried secrets from the sisters' childhoods, ghosts that Lexie doesn't want to face. But will the journey heal Annie, or lead her down a darker path?
💭 T H O U G H T S
Having previously read and enjoyed several of Kelly Rimmer's historical fiction books, Before I Let You Go came highly recommended by several trusted book friends. I definitely knew I needed to wait until I was mentally prepared for what would sure be an emotional read. Focusing on addiction, to say this one hit close to home would be a huge understatement.
What an emotional journey! There were tears, there was frustration, there was anger, there was understanding, there was hope, there was anxiety... And having lived the perils of addiction, I think Rimmer has done a very good job handling the topic with sensitivity and showcasing the depth of what loving someone with addiction is like. It also demonstrated how people living with addiction continue to be misunderstood. How there is a lack of compassion and empathy when people continue to use harmful language (addict, junkie, etc.) or define someone by one thing. It definitely gets my blood boiling.
My heart went out to both of the sisters. I can understand why some people would be annoyed by Lexie's behaviour of pushing Sam away, but I don't think anyone can really make judgements until they are lived the shoes of what it is like loving someone with addiction. I thought it was incredibly clever to get Annie's perspective through diary entries. It gave a even great emotional depth to the story.
Learning about the legalities and laws surround addiction and pregnancy was incredibly eye opening. Another instance where the care and well-being of the person with addiction doesn't matter, which is just heartbreaking. It is all of these things that keep stigmas in place and the shame of addiction prevalent.
At its core Before I Let You Go is a story about the unbreakable bond of sister and impossible choices. If this book can do one thing, it is my hope that it will raise empathy and compassion towards those who live with addiction. Bring about more understanding that addiction is a disease (often rooted in trauma) and that it isn't a choice or personality flaw. People living with addiction are still seen as less than in society, and often defined by this single aspect of their being. That alone breaks my heart and is grossly unjust. My person's addiction was such a small part of who he was. In fact, if I was to list some of his qualities it would be a long time before I would get to addiction.
📚 R E A D • I F • Y O U • L I K E
• stories of sisters
• reflective novels
• Jodi Picoult
⚠️ CW: mental illness, depression, addiction, drug use, drug abuse, overdose, medical content, death, death of parent, sibling death, grief, toxic relationship, child abuse, pedophilia, sexual assault, rape, religious bigotry, misogyny, pregnancy, forced institutionalization, suicidal thoughts, abortion, fire/fire injury
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"'Annie matters, too,' I croak., and stand. 'Surely helping Annie is the best way to help her baby.'"
"I know they are only human, and addiction wears medical professionals down, and I've probably though the same thing myself - but this is not a faceless patient - this is the little girl who used to fall asleep in the bed next to mine. The girl who used to keep her journal tucked in beside her face like a teddy bear. She had hopes and dreams and she has talents and flaws and she is - was - everything to me."
"She deserved a better end to her story than this."
"We have to take joy where we find it, even in the worst days."
"It is the but at the end of every sentence in our lives... today was a great day, but Annie should have been there. Christmas was wonderful, but Annie should have been there. I feel so happy, but Annie should be here. Daisy is my daughter now, but Annie should be here."
Author: Kelly Rimmer
Genre: Fiction
Rating: 4.50
Pub Date: April 3, 2018
T H R E E • W O R D S
Profound • Tragic • Reflective
📖 S Y N O P S I S
The 2:00 a.m. call is the first time Lexie Vidler has heard her sister's voice in years. Annie is a drug addict, a thief, a liar--and in trouble, again. Lexie has always bailed Annie out, given her money, a place to sleep, sent her to every kind of rehab. But this time, she's not just strung out--she's pregnant and in premature labor. If she goes to the hospital, she'll lose custody of her baby--maybe even go to prison. But the alternative is unthinkable.
As the weeks unfold, Lexie finds herself caring for her fragile newborn niece while her carefully ordered life is collapsing around her. She's in danger of losing her job, and her fiancé only has so much patience for Annie's drama. In court-ordered rehab, Annie attempts to halt her downward spiral by confronting long-buried secrets from the sisters' childhoods, ghosts that Lexie doesn't want to face. But will the journey heal Annie, or lead her down a darker path?
💭 T H O U G H T S
Having previously read and enjoyed several of Kelly Rimmer's historical fiction books, Before I Let You Go came highly recommended by several trusted book friends. I definitely knew I needed to wait until I was mentally prepared for what would sure be an emotional read. Focusing on addiction, to say this one hit close to home would be a huge understatement.
What an emotional journey! There were tears, there was frustration, there was anger, there was understanding, there was hope, there was anxiety... And having lived the perils of addiction, I think Rimmer has done a very good job handling the topic with sensitivity and showcasing the depth of what loving someone with addiction is like. It also demonstrated how people living with addiction continue to be misunderstood. How there is a lack of compassion and empathy when people continue to use harmful language (addict, junkie, etc.) or define someone by one thing. It definitely gets my blood boiling.
My heart went out to both of the sisters. I can understand why some people would be annoyed by Lexie's behaviour of pushing Sam away, but I don't think anyone can really make judgements until they are lived the shoes of what it is like loving someone with addiction. I thought it was incredibly clever to get Annie's perspective through diary entries. It gave a even great emotional depth to the story.
Learning about the legalities and laws surround addiction and pregnancy was incredibly eye opening. Another instance where the care and well-being of the person with addiction doesn't matter, which is just heartbreaking. It is all of these things that keep stigmas in place and the shame of addiction prevalent.
At its core Before I Let You Go is a story about the unbreakable bond of sister and impossible choices. If this book can do one thing, it is my hope that it will raise empathy and compassion towards those who live with addiction. Bring about more understanding that addiction is a disease (often rooted in trauma) and that it isn't a choice or personality flaw. People living with addiction are still seen as less than in society, and often defined by this single aspect of their being. That alone breaks my heart and is grossly unjust. My person's addiction was such a small part of who he was. In fact, if I was to list some of his qualities it would be a long time before I would get to addiction.
📚 R E A D • I F • Y O U • L I K E
• stories of sisters
• reflective novels
• Jodi Picoult
⚠️ CW: mental illness, depression, addiction, drug use, drug abuse, overdose, medical content, death, death of parent, sibling death, grief, toxic relationship, child abuse, pedophilia, sexual assault, rape, religious bigotry, misogyny, pregnancy, forced institutionalization, suicidal thoughts, abortion, fire/fire injury
🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S
"'Annie matters, too,' I croak., and stand. 'Surely helping Annie is the best way to help her baby.'"
"I know they are only human, and addiction wears medical professionals down, and I've probably though the same thing myself - but this is not a faceless patient - this is the little girl who used to fall asleep in the bed next to mine. The girl who used to keep her journal tucked in beside her face like a teddy bear. She had hopes and dreams and she has talents and flaws and she is - was - everything to me."
"She deserved a better end to her story than this."
"We have to take joy where we find it, even in the worst days."
"It is the but at the end of every sentence in our lives... today was a great day, but Annie should have been there. Christmas was wonderful, but Annie should have been there. I feel so happy, but Annie should be here. Daisy is my daughter now, but Annie should be here."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Drug use, Rape, Religious bigotry, Misogyny, Medical content, Forced institutionalization, Drug abuse, Pregnancy, Addiction, Death, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Grief, and Death of parent
Minor: Abortion and Fire/Fire injury
depression, overdose, sibling deathsassysoles82's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide, Drug use, Mental illness, Addiction, Medical content, Emotional abuse, Grief, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Pregnancy, Pedophilia, Toxic relationship, Suicidal thoughts, Medical trauma, Drug abuse, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Death, Death of parent, and Child abuse
maecave15's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction
Moderate: Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Death, Drug abuse, Grief, Religious bigotry, Bullying, Child abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Medical content, Mental illness, and Rape
ultimatefans's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Drug abuse and Sexual assault
mnatale100's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Incest, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Sexual assault, Cursing, Grief, Rape, Addiction, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Forced institutionalization, Pedophilia, Religious bigotry, Sexual violence, Death of parent, Medical content, and Death
Moderate: Misogyny, Sexism, Suicide attempt, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, and Vomit
Minor: Abortion and Fire/Fire injury
mel_s_bookshelf's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Drug abuse, Pregnancy, and Addiction
Moderate: Sexual assault, Rape, and Child abuse
Minor: Suicide attempt
rockin_robyn's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Grief, Sexual assault, Child abuse, Rape, Death, Drug use, Drug abuse, and Toxic relationship
emmasbookishself's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
“It’s remarkable how one person’s presence can disrupt every little thing that is ordinarily secure.”
A phone call at 2am is all it takes to turn Lexie’s life upside down once again in order to help her sister who is battling addiction.
Annie is pregnant and needs immediate medical care, but is terrified to go because she knows she won’t pass a drug test. In Alabama mothers can be prosecuted, and face prison time for chemical endangerment to her unborn baby.
Once again, Lexie’s role is to be stable and responsible and try to fix things for Annie. However this time Annie’s disruptions will have an impact on Sam, Lexie’s fiancé. There are parts of her childhood that she and Annie faced, that she has yet to share with him. However, Sam remains steadfast and supportive despite the upturn of their life.
When Daisy is born, Annie only has a short period of time to spend with her before attending court mandated rehab, if she doesn’t complete it, she will face prison time for chemical endangerment charges.
Naturally, Annie has asked Lexie to take care of Daisy while she’s away and Lexie agrees.
Lexie finally begins to believe that Annie can get sober because of Daisy. Except Annie is having a hard time sharing and reconciling with her past with her therapist… even things Lexie was unaware of. The only thing that seems to be working is a journal that was gifted to her by her late father.
Annie’s defiance when it comes to authority will soon cause her more trouble when she leaves the rehab before completion…
Lexie has been instructed to turn Annie in if she shows up at their house, or she could be facing charges for helping a fugitive. There’s been no sign of Annie for several days after she left rehab, but then she makes a phone call to Lexie. Annie sounds desperate to see Daisy, but Lexie turns her down and urges her to turn herself in and hangs up.
By chance, Lexie visits the trailer where Annie was living to convince her to turn herself in, but what Lexie finds breaks her heart..
A phone call at 2am is all it takes to turn Lexie’s life upside down once again in order to help her sister who is battling addiction.
Annie is pregnant and needs immediate medical care, but is terrified to go because she knows she won’t pass a drug test. In Alabama mothers can be prosecuted, and face prison time for chemical endangerment to her unborn baby.
Once again, Lexie’s role is to be stable and responsible and try to fix things for Annie. However this time Annie’s disruptions will have an impact on Sam, Lexie’s fiancé. There are parts of her childhood that she and Annie faced, that she has yet to share with him. However, Sam remains steadfast and supportive despite the upturn of their life.
When Daisy is born, Annie only has a short period of time to spend with her before attending court mandated rehab, if she doesn’t complete it, she will face prison time for chemical endangerment charges.
Naturally, Annie has asked Lexie to take care of Daisy while she’s away and Lexie agrees.
Lexie finally begins to believe that Annie can get sober because of Daisy. Except Annie is having a hard time sharing and reconciling with her past with her therapist… even things Lexie was unaware of. The only thing that seems to be working is a journal that was gifted to her by her late father.
Annie’s defiance when it comes to authority will soon cause her more trouble when she leaves the rehab before completion…
Lexie has been instructed to turn Annie in if she shows up at their house, or she could be facing charges for helping a fugitive. There’s been no sign of Annie for several days after she left rehab, but then she makes a phone call to Lexie. Annie sounds desperate to see Daisy, but Lexie turns her down and urges her to turn herself in and hangs up.
By chance, Lexie visits the trailer where Annie was living to convince her to turn herself in, but what Lexie finds breaks her heart..
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Rape, Sexual assault, Drug abuse, Child abuse, and Drug use
maddie_grae's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content, Drug abuse, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Death
jackiesspookyshelf's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug abuse, Sexual assault, Death, Drug use, Child abuse, Death of parent, and Emotional abuse