Reviews

Damon by Olivia Stephens

myzanm's review

1.0

It's in terrible need of editing. POV is changing in the middle of paragraphs, and even in the same sentence some times. Names get mixed up, like Max, the dog. The author is not consistent in her writing and sometimes her train of thought gets derailed and gets off track completely.
Retelling of past events get changed from one telling to the other. The story of the death of Damon's mother is one stellar example.

I actually liked the story - the first 2 chapters or so... Then....
I think the author had been toying with different ways of telling the story but forgot to clean the other trail up.

Spoiler

After Cassie flees from the hotel room she stashes the big bag of loot in the basement of the hotel before grabbing a backpack stuffing it with blankets and taking off for the woods. She ends up in a abandoned cottage where she hunkers down in the blankets falling into a peaceful sleep. The next thing we know she is running for her life in the dark woods WITH the damned bag which she then hides in a hollow logg. WTF!? Keep your story line clean! At this point I seriously thought about quitting, but I needed to know if the author could redeem her self in some way. Unfortunately she couldn't. The story didn't go down hill, it crashed and burned!

There were several hints about things that never got resolved, like that they might have had a leak in the club telling the cops about what to expect in the safe and where the content might have gone. And I wonder why Cassie never got in touch with the friend she supposedly had left. Especially after Andy was no longer a threat.

Cassie was one of the most annoying and unlikable heroines I've ever encountered. Damon felt like he was written by three different authors and while Carl started out rather decent he turned out to be an ass and the smallish apology in the end did noting to turn him around and both Damon and Cassie had to be imbeciles not to se how false that was.