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bookslifeandeverythingnice's review against another edition
4.0
Pretend We Are Lovely is an insightful unique read about the ways a family doesn’t cope with the loss of a child. The father copes by eating more. The mother copes by developing an eating disorder. She is no longer interested in anything, because of it. Not her children, husband, relationship, not even caring for herself. It consumes her while she barely consumes anything. The children currently, ages 13 and 10, are left to fend for themselves. It’s been about eight years since Sheldon died. Vivvy and Enid take their cues about food from their parents, desperately trying to please and emulate one or the other. The book is a wonderful exploration of grief, loss, family dynamics, and the stress of a parent’s mental illness on the entire family.
nerdyrev's review against another edition
4.0
There are certain books that are read that are so worth reading, but once it is over, you never want to read it again. This is one of those books. The characters are great, the writing is incredible, but the story is such a rough one.
The story is told from 4 points of view- daughter Vivian who is 13, daughter Enid who is 10, dad Tate, and mother Francie. It is the story of a family trying to hold it together following the mysterious death of their son.
Tate and Francie are separated, yet they keep getting pulled back together as Francie struggles with an eating disorder. Tate has his own troubles as a college professor who has slept with his student. The two girls also float through school and have an unhealthy relationship with a next door neighbor boy who forces himself on both girls, yet the girls interpret it as being loved.
It is Francie's eating disorder that is at the center of the story as she starts to hit rock bottom. She chooses not to eat for several days bringing her to the brink of death. The family must somehow pull it all together to support their mother, even in the midst of their disfunction.
As difficult as this book is, I wound up tearing through this book. Having the story told from all four members of the family helped move the story along. Each member of the family has a unique point of view and is dealing with their own struggles. While Vivian recognizes what her father is doing, for example, Enid thinks of the college woman her father flirts with, as the donut girl.
The other intriguing part of this book is how the two girls take on the aspects of their parents. Vivian, for example, also knows how to count calories and often becomes mom for Enid when Francie is out of the picture. Enid has an unhealthy relationship to food because of her father's unhealthy relationship to food. He often sneaks food and overeats encouraging Enid to do the same. She starts gaining weight, which sets both Vivian and Francie off.
By the end, the main message is moving from an unhealthy relationship to food to eating food for nutrition, but it takes a full journey to get there. As stated, there is a lot of dysfunction within this book, so be prepared. I found the sections with the neighbor boy some of the more uncomfortable sections especially when he moves from Vivian to Enid. This is a tough book, but so good at the same time.
I gave this one 4 stars.
The story is told from 4 points of view- daughter Vivian who is 13, daughter Enid who is 10, dad Tate, and mother Francie. It is the story of a family trying to hold it together following the mysterious death of their son.
Tate and Francie are separated, yet they keep getting pulled back together as Francie struggles with an eating disorder. Tate has his own troubles as a college professor who has slept with his student. The two girls also float through school and have an unhealthy relationship with a next door neighbor boy who forces himself on both girls, yet the girls interpret it as being loved.
It is Francie's eating disorder that is at the center of the story as she starts to hit rock bottom. She chooses not to eat for several days bringing her to the brink of death. The family must somehow pull it all together to support their mother, even in the midst of their disfunction.
As difficult as this book is, I wound up tearing through this book. Having the story told from all four members of the family helped move the story along. Each member of the family has a unique point of view and is dealing with their own struggles. While Vivian recognizes what her father is doing, for example, Enid thinks of the college woman her father flirts with, as the donut girl.
The other intriguing part of this book is how the two girls take on the aspects of their parents. Vivian, for example, also knows how to count calories and often becomes mom for Enid when Francie is out of the picture. Enid has an unhealthy relationship to food because of her father's unhealthy relationship to food. He often sneaks food and overeats encouraging Enid to do the same. She starts gaining weight, which sets both Vivian and Francie off.
By the end, the main message is moving from an unhealthy relationship to food to eating food for nutrition, but it takes a full journey to get there. As stated, there is a lot of dysfunction within this book, so be prepared. I found the sections with the neighbor boy some of the more uncomfortable sections especially when he moves from Vivian to Enid. This is a tough book, but so good at the same time.
I gave this one 4 stars.
mariaviola's review against another edition
challenging
dark
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
scorpstar77's review against another edition
3.0
A book about a family in crisis, two little girls growing up in a deeply dysfunctional household, where eating disorders and unhealthy relationships with food abound. I thought the family drama bits were good - it felt true in that way a good story can, when you're getting to the heart of why something is broken (in this case, an entire family). That said, I thought there was WAY too much emphasis on the eating disorders. While I was reading, I kept thinking, "This feels like the author is trying really hard to exorcise her own demons about food and eating." Lo and behold, at the end of the book there's a statement that basically says that's how she started writing the book. It's pretty heavy-handed, enough to be distracting to me...and I'm a fat woman who has struggled with eating and weight my whole life and is generally interested in that theme in books, so for me to say it felt heavy-handed and distracting is saying something. The writing is good; the focus just feels one-note.
briface's review against another edition
3.0
I enjoyed the multiple perspective narration, especially the perspective of the two girls. Centering the book around each of the characters relationships with food was interesting, there are so many ways to have an unhealthy relationship with eating.
scrappymags's review against another edition
4.0
Scrappymags 3-word review: Dysfunctional family ruin. A solid 4/4.5 star
My book reviews are all on my website at http://scrappymags.com/ at publication date!
Genre: Contemporary fiction (1980's setting), release 7/18/17
Shortest summary ever: Francie is a mom to 2 girls - Vivian and Enid (13 and 10 respectively), married to Tate, a college professor. Let's put it this way - she won't be winning mom of the year awards. Estranged from Tate, battling an eating disorder, and haunted by the strange death of her son 7 years prior, she barely passes for a mom. Dad is wrapped up with dealing with this, and he's no angel either.
What’s good under the hood: Adoring the revolving narratives, I dove into each member of the family with gusto, and they are well written. The two girls mirror their parents in many ways, some positive, some sad. It's a lesson in what kids learn from their environment (good and bad). A rarity, my gauge on characters I liked/didn't like changed so much in the course of the story that it kept me guessing until the last page. I enjoyed the story and thought it to be REAL - all the nitty gritty don't-really-want-to-read-this-sad-stuff-but-have-to REAL. Real to me is often magical - like I'm a voyeur peeking in at this dysfunctional family. I felt embarassed for them and embarassed that I was watching, but like the proverbial train-wreck, I couldn't look away.
What’s bad or made me mad: Nothing made me outright mad, but it's a slower paced novel of a serious nature. Without giving spoilers, I was disappointed with a vague aspect of the story that I wanted a resolution to and never received. I never REALLY understood what happened and felt a massive disappointment with that. (Unless I didn't read closely which would be my bad).
Recommend to:
* The story develops page after page so those in the mood for a lush, deep, rich story, not a riveting quick-paced romp.
* Those looking for serious topics, but don't be too afraid - it's a pretty quick read.
Thanks to NetGalley, Tin House books (W.W. Norton) and the author for an advanced copy in exchange for my honest review and new appreciation for my (pretty) normal family.
My book reviews are all on my website at http://scrappymags.com/ at publication date!
Genre: Contemporary fiction (1980's setting), release 7/18/17
Shortest summary ever: Francie is a mom to 2 girls - Vivian and Enid (13 and 10 respectively), married to Tate, a college professor. Let's put it this way - she won't be winning mom of the year awards. Estranged from Tate, battling an eating disorder, and haunted by the strange death of her son 7 years prior, she barely passes for a mom. Dad is wrapped up with dealing with this, and he's no angel either.
What’s good under the hood: Adoring the revolving narratives, I dove into each member of the family with gusto, and they are well written. The two girls mirror their parents in many ways, some positive, some sad. It's a lesson in what kids learn from their environment (good and bad). A rarity, my gauge on characters I liked/didn't like changed so much in the course of the story that it kept me guessing until the last page. I enjoyed the story and thought it to be REAL - all the nitty gritty don't-really-want-to-read-this-sad-stuff-but-have-to REAL. Real to me is often magical - like I'm a voyeur peeking in at this dysfunctional family. I felt embarassed for them and embarassed that I was watching, but like the proverbial train-wreck, I couldn't look away.
What’s bad or made me mad: Nothing made me outright mad, but it's a slower paced novel of a serious nature. Without giving spoilers, I was disappointed with a vague aspect of the story that I wanted a resolution to and never received. I never REALLY understood what happened and felt a massive disappointment with that. (Unless I didn't read closely which would be my bad).
Recommend to:
* The story develops page after page so those in the mood for a lush, deep, rich story, not a riveting quick-paced romp.
* Those looking for serious topics, but don't be too afraid - it's a pretty quick read.
Thanks to NetGalley, Tin House books (W.W. Norton) and the author for an advanced copy in exchange for my honest review and new appreciation for my (pretty) normal family.
singerwriter94's review against another edition
4.0
Originally posted on: The Quirky Book Nerd
*I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review*
Pretend We Are Lovely is one of those novels that really makes you think—both during and after—but where the real impact of the plot and themes within it hits you a little while after you have turned the final page. After you’ve let it simmer in your mind for some time. This is a story that revolves around hunger and nourishment of both the body and soul. And behind the façade of food and hunger, starving and eating, the true needs of this family shine through the cracks. It is a perfect warm, summer day read, whose pages will fly by quickly, but will simultaneously strike the reader with the surprising depth and heaviness of the subject matter.
This story follows a few months in the lives of the four members of the Sobel family. Mother Francie is struggling to deal with a great loss as well as the mental and emotional scars that come with it. Thirteen-year-old Vivvy and ten-year-old Enid are dealing with their own coming of age and new place in the world, all while attempting to cope with their struggling family life and their mother’s overbearing rules, primarily about food. Father Tate is trying his best to hold his family—and all of their lives—together as Franice begins to spiral out of control, further cracking the household’s foundation.
I’ll admit when I first started, I wasn’t quite sure if I was going to end up enjoying this novel. It took me a little while to really get into it, but as soon as I did, I was fully captivated. This story is full of broken and lost, but deeply and utterly beautiful souls. They are surprisingly loveable and incredibly easy to connect with. Each one has their own distinctive voice and personality, and I found that they were very realistically portrayed. Reid demonstrated remarkable insight and skill in her creation of this fractured family.
The element of food and hunger becomes very prominent as we begin to get to know each of the characters and the dynamic of the household. They all harbor a hunger for something more on an emotional level that masks itself in a battle with their eating or dieting behaviors. And these battles manifest uniquely in each person. Vivvy and Enid each look to a different parent for cues on how to treat food. Enid follows her father’s habits of carefree eating while Vivvy mimics her mother’s struggle with food and obsessive dieting.
The relationships and constant instability of the foundation of this family was incredibly poignant. We watch Enid and Vivvy coming of age and learning to deal with many of the harsh realities of life. Francie and Tate are drifting further and further away from one another, and Tate is struggling to hold the family together as best he can for the sake of his daughters. Vivvy’s and Enid’s relationship with each other was my particular favorite to watch as it changes with the highs and lows of growing up. Tate’s love for his daughters was another one of my favorite aspects of this novel.
The writing style used in this novel might not be a hit with everyone. The perspective alternates frequently between each of the four members of the Sobel family, so the reader gets an intimate look at everyone’s perspective on the events of the plot. I found it quite interesting to see the shift in the behaviors and outlooks of the all of the characters, but it can be a bit confusing at times. There is quite a bit of jumping about, and this can make the plot a little tricky to follow. However, once I started to get used to it and became more aware of each character’s personality, it flowed a lot smoother.
The other aspect of the writing to note is the almost stream of consciousness-like style that Reid uses. For me personally, it really worked well and I enjoyed the tone that it set. It truly feels as if we as readers are intimately following the lives of a realistic family, and that brings so much depth into the novel and the messages it sends. However, I realize that, though it adds a great deal to the realism of the plot and characters, it can be somewhat of a difficult writing style to follow—so there are definite pros and cons to it for the reader.
It reads just the way a person’s train of thought would go, but that can also make things feel a bit disjointed. On top of that, the constant shift in perspective takes a little while to get fully immersed in, especially prior to really knowing the family. As a whole though, I ended up loving the format in which Reid wrote this novel. There were a lot more pros that out-weighed many of the minor cons in the style, and she completely sucked me in.
Overall, this was the big-hearted and consuming read it promised to be. Reid beautifully set the painful, destructive, yet loving atmosphere of a family in turmoil. I felt like I really connected with everyone, and found that I truly cared about each and every one of them. I experienced the hurt they both felt and inflicted, but also the small moments of caring, love and hope. Every emotion was tangible and I was completely wrapped up in their lives. The bittersweet final few chapters particularly stood out from the rest, and they are the ones that held onto me the longest.
*I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review*
Pretend We Are Lovely is one of those novels that really makes you think—both during and after—but where the real impact of the plot and themes within it hits you a little while after you have turned the final page. After you’ve let it simmer in your mind for some time. This is a story that revolves around hunger and nourishment of both the body and soul. And behind the façade of food and hunger, starving and eating, the true needs of this family shine through the cracks. It is a perfect warm, summer day read, whose pages will fly by quickly, but will simultaneously strike the reader with the surprising depth and heaviness of the subject matter.
This story follows a few months in the lives of the four members of the Sobel family. Mother Francie is struggling to deal with a great loss as well as the mental and emotional scars that come with it. Thirteen-year-old Vivvy and ten-year-old Enid are dealing with their own coming of age and new place in the world, all while attempting to cope with their struggling family life and their mother’s overbearing rules, primarily about food. Father Tate is trying his best to hold his family—and all of their lives—together as Franice begins to spiral out of control, further cracking the household’s foundation.
I’ll admit when I first started, I wasn’t quite sure if I was going to end up enjoying this novel. It took me a little while to really get into it, but as soon as I did, I was fully captivated. This story is full of broken and lost, but deeply and utterly beautiful souls. They are surprisingly loveable and incredibly easy to connect with. Each one has their own distinctive voice and personality, and I found that they were very realistically portrayed. Reid demonstrated remarkable insight and skill in her creation of this fractured family.
The element of food and hunger becomes very prominent as we begin to get to know each of the characters and the dynamic of the household. They all harbor a hunger for something more on an emotional level that masks itself in a battle with their eating or dieting behaviors. And these battles manifest uniquely in each person. Vivvy and Enid each look to a different parent for cues on how to treat food. Enid follows her father’s habits of carefree eating while Vivvy mimics her mother’s struggle with food and obsessive dieting.
The relationships and constant instability of the foundation of this family was incredibly poignant. We watch Enid and Vivvy coming of age and learning to deal with many of the harsh realities of life. Francie and Tate are drifting further and further away from one another, and Tate is struggling to hold the family together as best he can for the sake of his daughters. Vivvy’s and Enid’s relationship with each other was my particular favorite to watch as it changes with the highs and lows of growing up. Tate’s love for his daughters was another one of my favorite aspects of this novel.
The writing style used in this novel might not be a hit with everyone. The perspective alternates frequently between each of the four members of the Sobel family, so the reader gets an intimate look at everyone’s perspective on the events of the plot. I found it quite interesting to see the shift in the behaviors and outlooks of the all of the characters, but it can be a bit confusing at times. There is quite a bit of jumping about, and this can make the plot a little tricky to follow. However, once I started to get used to it and became more aware of each character’s personality, it flowed a lot smoother.
The other aspect of the writing to note is the almost stream of consciousness-like style that Reid uses. For me personally, it really worked well and I enjoyed the tone that it set. It truly feels as if we as readers are intimately following the lives of a realistic family, and that brings so much depth into the novel and the messages it sends. However, I realize that, though it adds a great deal to the realism of the plot and characters, it can be somewhat of a difficult writing style to follow—so there are definite pros and cons to it for the reader.
It reads just the way a person’s train of thought would go, but that can also make things feel a bit disjointed. On top of that, the constant shift in perspective takes a little while to get fully immersed in, especially prior to really knowing the family. As a whole though, I ended up loving the format in which Reid wrote this novel. There were a lot more pros that out-weighed many of the minor cons in the style, and she completely sucked me in.
Overall, this was the big-hearted and consuming read it promised to be. Reid beautifully set the painful, destructive, yet loving atmosphere of a family in turmoil. I felt like I really connected with everyone, and found that I truly cared about each and every one of them. I experienced the hurt they both felt and inflicted, but also the small moments of caring, love and hope. Every emotion was tangible and I was completely wrapped up in their lives. The bittersweet final few chapters particularly stood out from the rest, and they are the ones that held onto me the longest.
colettepwr's review
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
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