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katmurph12's review
I could tell a man wrote it. I like male authors, but not when I can TELL they’re a man by the writing
readmeanything_'s review against another edition
2.0
eh.
I think the main character is far too dull and self-indulgent, all the 'other' characters that are in his life are just convenient props (and cardboard cutouts when they're women). the only interesting bit is his father/the computer programme.
I think the main character is far too dull and self-indulgent, all the 'other' characters that are in his life are just convenient props (and cardboard cutouts when they're women). the only interesting bit is his father/the computer programme.
renee_reads_books's review against another edition
3.0
The first half of this book was a little tedious in the setup. I just couldn't get into it -- the story of a man in his later 30s, divorced, lonely, looking for love... but from whom? He goes to a youth hostel to pick up girls and ends up falling in love (maybe?) with one. At the same time that I liked that he was never sure whether or not he was in love with that young girl (Rachel), it also kind of left me sometimes feeling that she wasn't all that important, at least throughout the first half. At the same time that the main character, Neill, is working through his relationships (of varying degrees) with women, he's also working on his relationship with his father --- who died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in 1995. Neill works for a company that's trying to build the world's first intelligent computer, hoping it will pass the Turing test. Using his father's old journals, he's created, for all intents and purposes, a robot of his father, with whom he speaks (IMs) every day.
For me, the most interesting thing about this book wasn't necessarily what was written on the pages. It was what wasn't said, and the way it made me think. I always really like that in books, and if I had been a little more into the actual story, I would have given this another star just based on that. I was dog-earring the pages with the quotes that I loved, and I was stopping to work out problems in my head because something in the book jarred me into some kind of transfer. Sometimes I felt that reading this book maybe felt so tedious for me because it was tedious for me. It made me think too much.
You go through this book (or at least I did) thinking that the title refers to Neill's inability to really define and experience love for himself. As he goes down that path, he's got a working theory of what it should be. Okay, that's one theory. As they approach the contest in which the computerized Dr. Bassett (Neill's father) will take on the Turing Test, they continually try to find ways to make the computer more human. One of those features they need is love, but how to transfer that? (Kind of the cliche emo/hipster question: Can you teach a robot to love?). Okay, that's theory 2.
In the last 10 pages of the book, I was struck by a third theory. He says something about a theory of love. A working one. "One" is kind of ambiguous there. I like to think that it's less about a working theory than it is about a working love. And that means love that works for you, as an individual -- whatever kind of love it is.
Overall, I liked this book and I think it's well-crafted. I'm not sure it's one that I would read a second time, but I think that I would definitely reflect upon some of the quotes a little further. Some quotes of note for me:
"Nothing extraordinary about us thirtysomethings, beached in the last days of our youth. We're everywhere, gasping and stunned. I don't think our sorry state is deliberate." (130)
"I sit very still -- I'm an experienced practitioner of the art of falling apart on the inside while appearing catatonic." - (176)
"From an evolutionary point of view we don't need love to perpetuate our genes. We don't need love to raise our children. So is love just a random emergent property? Maybe. Maybe it's a social construct. Who knows. What's important from our point of view, again as businessmen, is that even if love is an illusion, it's an illusion more powerful than reality." (200) **Really loved this as I'm totally a "love is a social construct" kind of person.
On the idea that it's possible to live a fulfilling life and be your own person without being in love: "Plenty of people pass through life without love, and they're still human." (221)
"When you spend significant amounts of time with someone they offer constant feedback, becoming part of the patterning of your brain. In other words, part of you. But I take your point -- constant feedback is not always deep feedback. A good measure of how much of you they've become is your level of distress when they're gone. If they form a large part of your patterning, then you'll experience a major culling of the self. That's what's known as grief." ... Favorite quote in the whole book. And so, so true. (221)
"There's a certain fear of inserting yourself into the world ... the fear that you'l get it wrong, the fear that in the midday befuddlement of your life you'll make a bad decision, bring about bad consequences for all involved." (316)
"But as for a working theory of love, we finally didn't have one. We're either locked into the Survival of the Fittest or we're vessels for the Great Spirit -- or we're drones manipulated by the marketplace." (322-323)
For me, the most interesting thing about this book wasn't necessarily what was written on the pages. It was what wasn't said, and the way it made me think. I always really like that in books, and if I had been a little more into the actual story, I would have given this another star just based on that. I was dog-earring the pages with the quotes that I loved, and I was stopping to work out problems in my head because something in the book jarred me into some kind of transfer. Sometimes I felt that reading this book maybe felt so tedious for me because it was tedious for me. It made me think too much.
You go through this book (or at least I did) thinking that the title refers to Neill's inability to really define and experience love for himself. As he goes down that path, he's got a working theory of what it should be. Okay, that's one theory. As they approach the contest in which the computerized Dr. Bassett (Neill's father) will take on the Turing Test, they continually try to find ways to make the computer more human. One of those features they need is love, but how to transfer that? (Kind of the cliche emo/hipster question: Can you teach a robot to love?). Okay, that's theory 2.
In the last 10 pages of the book, I was struck by a third theory. He says something about a theory of love. A working one. "One" is kind of ambiguous there. I like to think that it's less about a working theory than it is about a working love. And that means love that works for you, as an individual -- whatever kind of love it is.
Overall, I liked this book and I think it's well-crafted. I'm not sure it's one that I would read a second time, but I think that I would definitely reflect upon some of the quotes a little further. Some quotes of note for me:
"Nothing extraordinary about us thirtysomethings, beached in the last days of our youth. We're everywhere, gasping and stunned. I don't think our sorry state is deliberate." (130)
"I sit very still -- I'm an experienced practitioner of the art of falling apart on the inside while appearing catatonic." - (176)
"From an evolutionary point of view we don't need love to perpetuate our genes. We don't need love to raise our children. So is love just a random emergent property? Maybe. Maybe it's a social construct. Who knows. What's important from our point of view, again as businessmen, is that even if love is an illusion, it's an illusion more powerful than reality." (200) **Really loved this as I'm totally a "love is a social construct" kind of person.
On the idea that it's possible to live a fulfilling life and be your own person without being in love: "Plenty of people pass through life without love, and they're still human." (221)
"When you spend significant amounts of time with someone they offer constant feedback, becoming part of the patterning of your brain. In other words, part of you. But I take your point -- constant feedback is not always deep feedback. A good measure of how much of you they've become is your level of distress when they're gone. If they form a large part of your patterning, then you'll experience a major culling of the self. That's what's known as grief." ... Favorite quote in the whole book. And so, so true. (221)
"There's a certain fear of inserting yourself into the world ... the fear that you'l get it wrong, the fear that in the midday befuddlement of your life you'll make a bad decision, bring about bad consequences for all involved." (316)
"But as for a working theory of love, we finally didn't have one. We're either locked into the Survival of the Fittest or we're vessels for the Great Spirit -- or we're drones manipulated by the marketplace." (322-323)
superdilettante's review
3.0
The most entertaining thing about this book was that I could identify most of the weird-ass, San Franciscan touchstones. That sex cult? Really exists. Even in the location he mentions. Other than that, it was all right.
susanscribs's review
3.0
A very interesting premise but ultimately the various pieces failed to come together. I'm not sure if Neill ever really learned anything about his father or their relationship. It was worthwhile, however, for the wry humor, what-if scenarios and the presumably accurate portrayal of 21st century San Franciscans.
kimlovesstuff's review
3.0
I wanted to like it more, and bits of it I did, but it didn't really grab me. The protagonist holds you at arms length throughout, so there's very little sense of connection.
Interesting premise though...
Interesting premise though...
alirowan's review
This book had a lot of potential that, for me, was never fulfilled. I'm not normally a premise person, but this book had a premise that, treated differently, could have made for an amazing book. As it was, it felt like the author was determined to keep the reader at arm's length, never giving quite enough to get me attached to or caring about any of the characters. The ending began to turn this around, but it was too late to save the book for me.