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susanbrooks's review against another edition
4.0
I found this exploration of “otherizing” and dehumanizing people to be extremely relevant, interesting and painful. It addresses something I’m striving to cease doing. I read some other reviews before posting this, and was made aware of some controversy regarding attribution of quotes Kohn uses. That is of concern, but I haven’t fully absorbed it. She did reference the Milgram “giving shocks to other people” when told to, experiment. There’s a great 2015 article in The Atlantic taking a second look at those results. I am concerned with her scholarship, since I didn’t notice her addressing that. It seems as if a lot of people jumped in here and gave 1 star reviews based upon the quotation controversy without necessarily reading the book. To me, the themes struck home at this moment in time, but I’ll keep an eye on the controversy.
abitters's review against another edition
5.0
Don’t read this if you are not ready to be challenged on your own preconceived biases. This book broadly defines hate and can be depressing at time, but ultimately leaves us with hope. A very timely book for everyone to read and consider.
bootman's review against another edition
5.0
This is easily a must-read book. I was totally unfamiliar with Sally Kohn’s work, but she has a great head on her shoulders. In short, Sally wanted to understand why we hate other groups of people, and it mainly started with online trolls and political polarization. Although I knew a lot of what she talks about in this book, it was great reading about her going on this journey, and I did learn about a few studies I hadn’t heard of before.
This book stretches far beyond polarization and touches on genocides and other atrocities. Sally interviews online trolls and gets interesting answers as to why they attack her. She also dives into racial biases, and although I’ve read about this topic extensively, I have never seen a white person become so introspective about the topic. It wasn’t the “I’m a terrible white person”, stuff either. She catches her thoughts and lays them out there, and if more people did that, this world would be a much better place.
This book stretches far beyond polarization and touches on genocides and other atrocities. Sally interviews online trolls and gets interesting answers as to why they attack her. She also dives into racial biases, and although I’ve read about this topic extensively, I have never seen a white person become so introspective about the topic. It wasn’t the “I’m a terrible white person”, stuff either. She catches her thoughts and lays them out there, and if more people did that, this world would be a much better place.
lakecake's review against another edition
2.0
I received a copy of this book for free from Goodreads Giveaways.
I was so hype for this book. I wanted to love this book. It had everything I thought would be great. AND THEN I saw the way that Kohn had treated Aminatou Sow and it all fell apart. I was about two chapters in when that broke and then it was just impossible for me to feel the same way about this book. To write a book with the central conceit that "connection will save us" and then to not have connected with people quoted in the book is just....privileged is the word that comes to mind. I know that word is charged, and I know that word has a lot of problems but that's exactly what this is. Preach connection to me to solve our problems, but then cause more problems by quoting people potentially incorrectly, don't connect with them to check, and then blame the industry and not yourself when it comes to being called out on that. No thanks. The advice is solid, but it's feels like just another person trying to cash in on the "woke" train at this point. I'm not here for it.
I do think this could be a solid starter book for your liberal, white Aunt Sharon who has NO IDEA how to even BEGIN a journey to understanding with most people who aren't just like her. So it has value in that sense, and that's my two stars.
I was so hype for this book. I wanted to love this book. It had everything I thought would be great. AND THEN I saw the way that Kohn had treated Aminatou Sow and it all fell apart. I was about two chapters in when that broke and then it was just impossible for me to feel the same way about this book. To write a book with the central conceit that "connection will save us" and then to not have connected with people quoted in the book is just....privileged is the word that comes to mind. I know that word is charged, and I know that word has a lot of problems but that's exactly what this is. Preach connection to me to solve our problems, but then cause more problems by quoting people potentially incorrectly, don't connect with them to check, and then blame the industry and not yourself when it comes to being called out on that. No thanks. The advice is solid, but it's feels like just another person trying to cash in on the "woke" train at this point. I'm not here for it.
I do think this could be a solid starter book for your liberal, white Aunt Sharon who has NO IDEA how to even BEGIN a journey to understanding with most people who aren't just like her. So it has value in that sense, and that's my two stars.
jmckendry's review against another edition
5.0
Everyone needs to read this book. Liberal or Conservative, Christian or Muslim or Hindu or Jew, straight or gay, neo-nazi or terrorist or pacifist, we all need this book. Spread this like our humanity depends on it, because it does. The opposite of hate is not love, it is connection.
As I've read some other review for this book, I noticed people claiming that Sally Kohn didn't fact check or that she misquoted people… honestly, I didn't research whether those claims were accurate or not, but even if she misquoted people or didn't fully fact check, it doesn't change the fact that hate is eating away at our humanity, and it doesn't change her discovery on how we can improve ourselves and our world by creating connection spaces. Even if the book isn't entirely accurate, the overall point of it is so important for us all. It's a great read, either way.
As I've read some other review for this book, I noticed people claiming that Sally Kohn didn't fact check or that she misquoted people… honestly, I didn't research whether those claims were accurate or not, but even if she misquoted people or didn't fully fact check, it doesn't change the fact that hate is eating away at our humanity, and it doesn't change her discovery on how we can improve ourselves and our world by creating connection spaces. Even if the book isn't entirely accurate, the overall point of it is so important for us all. It's a great read, either way.
driedfrogpills's review against another edition
1.0
When you are writing a book discussing hate, bias and prejudice, don't misuse other people's words to make yourself sound better. Especially if that person is black and you are white. In all honesty I don't think it was done maliciously, but instead illustrates how privilege blinds us. This in no way excuses Kohn from not checking her privilege and verifying her facts.
I had hoped this book would break new ground or discuss in-depth methods for recognizing and dealing with our hate, but it reads like the "woke white woman realizing there are social issues around her and she has thoughts!!!!" stereotype. At times, it feels like the bare minimum of research into very complex issues went into this book. The controversy surrounding two quotes makes the rest of the book's content, some of which involving interviews with people from other backgrounds, into question as to the validity of those engagements. Also, using the experiences of one or two interviewees to illustrate the experiences of their people seems to me to be an incredibly narrow way to accurately reflect those experiences. It doesn't help that half of the book reads like a memoir than an examination of the nature of hate.
Kohn had some good thoughts, especially about connection. However, she doesn't go deep enough into her idea to generate any conductive discussion, and her sloppy handling of her source material overshadows any benefit this book may have had otherwise.
I had hoped this book would break new ground or discuss in-depth methods for recognizing and dealing with our hate, but it reads like the "woke white woman realizing there are social issues around her and she has thoughts!!!!" stereotype. At times, it feels like the bare minimum of research into very complex issues went into this book. The controversy surrounding two quotes makes the rest of the book's content, some of which involving interviews with people from other backgrounds, into question as to the validity of those engagements. Also, using the experiences of one or two interviewees to illustrate the experiences of their people seems to me to be an incredibly narrow way to accurately reflect those experiences. It doesn't help that half of the book reads like a memoir than an examination of the nature of hate.
Kohn had some good thoughts, especially about connection. However, she doesn't go deep enough into her idea to generate any conductive discussion, and her sloppy handling of her source material overshadows any benefit this book may have had otherwise.
emflibrarian's review against another edition
5.0
Amazing!!! Makes you think. Makes you question. Forces you to do some self reflection. None of the above which are easy to do. Highly recommend.
kbratten's review against another edition
2.0
Some good points and thought provoking questions, but the half advice/half personal anecdote format made this extremely self-indulgent /self-congratulatory. I've tried thinking about what would have been a better format, and I think having it be more clinical, based on research than personal experience. As it was, it came off as a liberal person patting herself on the back for being open minded. I believe the author has good intentions at building bridges, but she did not succeed.