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katiez624's review against another edition
5.0
I really resonate with Rob Bell's writing style, and I enjoyed this book more than [b:How to Be Here: A Guide to Creating a Life Worth Living|22124291|How to Be Here A Guide to Creating a Life Worth Living|Rob Bell|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1445190734l/22124291._SX50_.jpg|41467149] because the way it was laid out made a lot of sense. The message is simple, and the layout is straightforward. Along with his wife, Kristen, Rob attempts to explain the energy field that exists between people who are committed to each other. They talk about the ways in which the flow is maintained, how positive and negative emotions are magnified, and how all people and relationships are dynamic entities
As I am heading into my 9th year of marriage, I can attest that the observations the Bells have made regarding marriage are very representative of my own relationship. The information he gives is not groundbreaking, but it does present information that I have learned from my own experiences in a helpful format, bringing self-awareness and a few new insights that can help foster a healthy marriage. Through time and experience, I have gleaned a lot of these techniques they provide the hard way, but I wish I had this book at the beginning of my marriage. I think it would have set my expectations and the level of effort I would have to put forth in a much more realistic way and provided me insights into how to navigate this challenging and unfamiliar lifelong decision.
This is the best book I've found so far on understanding marriage and setting your relationship up to be the most healthy and loving partnership it can be.
As I am heading into my 9th year of marriage, I can attest that the observations the Bells have made regarding marriage are very representative of my own relationship. The information he gives is not groundbreaking, but it does present information that I have learned from my own experiences in a helpful format, bringing self-awareness and a few new insights that can help foster a healthy marriage. Through time and experience, I have gleaned a lot of these techniques they provide the hard way, but I wish I had this book at the beginning of my marriage. I think it would have set my expectations and the level of effort I would have to put forth in a much more realistic way and provided me insights into how to navigate this challenging and unfamiliar lifelong decision.
This is the best book I've found so far on understanding marriage and setting your relationship up to be the most healthy and loving partnership it can be.
suzanne_slagell's review against another edition
3.0
It's not that the info in this book is bad, it's just not all that revolutionary. The writing is fine, and those who are annoyed by Rob's typical poetic style will be grateful for the change of pace. I think that for the right audience, this book could well be life-changing. It's a short and easy read, and it felt a little like an afternoon marriage seminar. It was worth my time.
raoul_g's review against another edition
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
4.0
This is a very enjoyable, easy-to-read and quite short book about marriage written by Rob and Kristen Bell. As far as I remember this is the first book on this topic that I ever read. Still, I imagine that this book has quite a different approach than most marriage books. Here's how Bell describes it:
"This book, however, is about the deeper mysteries of marriage. How is it that the same relationship can be capable of producing so much joy and so much pain? How is it that the slightest thoughts and actions can so significantly change the space between two people? How is it that the space between two people can be so unique that it exists nowhere else in the universe? How is it that flawed, fragile, flesh-and-blood human beings can relate to each other in such a way that they show each other the divine?"
If these are questions that you are asking yourself or at least find interesting, I recommend you listen to Rob and Kristen's take on them. You just might get something out of it, especially if you are in a relationship.
"Something powerful and profound happens in marriage something involving energy, love, and the deepest forces of the universe. We believe that you can grow in your awareness of these realities, learning how to better see what's going on in the space between you, how it works, and how the love can flow all the more freely between you."
Much of the particular advice is quite common-sense:
- shared experiences strengthens your bond,
- allow differences between you to expand your perspectives,
- sacrificial love transforms your relationship like nothing else,
- some experiences belong just two the two of you and shouldn't be shared with anyone else,
- you need to keep forgiving each other,
and so on.
In my opinion these are important things and the fact that you probably know most of it already doesn't take away from it. But I see the real strength of the book in the language for talking about love that it offers. It describes the relationship between two people in marriage as a space that is responsive, dynamic, exclusive and sacred, and there is a chapter explaining each of these aspects. As always, language defines our perception, and in this case, I believe, your perception can only benefit from the language presented here.
This section from the end of the book shows the grand and beautiful vision of marriage the authors have:
"There's a lot that's broken in the world, a lot that isn't one. From war and racism and injustice to abuse and addiction and people taking each other to court and families breaking apart. We live in a broken, fractured, fragmented world.
But when you are faithful to each other, zimzuming as you act for the well-being of the other, the space between you becomes a place in the universe that isn't broken and divided but one and whole. This is why the world needs marriage - more marriages, better marriages. The world needs more places that are one and whole. Great marriages shine, they stand out, they inspire, they bring hope, they speak to our deepest desires for a world that is one."
"This book, however, is about the deeper mysteries of marriage. How is it that the same relationship can be capable of producing so much joy and so much pain? How is it that the slightest thoughts and actions can so significantly change the space between two people? How is it that the space between two people can be so unique that it exists nowhere else in the universe? How is it that flawed, fragile, flesh-and-blood human beings can relate to each other in such a way that they show each other the divine?"
If these are questions that you are asking yourself or at least find interesting, I recommend you listen to Rob and Kristen's take on them. You just might get something out of it, especially if you are in a relationship.
"Something powerful and profound happens in marriage something involving energy, love, and the deepest forces of the universe. We believe that you can grow in your awareness of these realities, learning how to better see what's going on in the space between you, how it works, and how the love can flow all the more freely between you."
Much of the particular advice is quite common-sense:
- shared experiences strengthens your bond,
- allow differences between you to expand your perspectives,
- sacrificial love transforms your relationship like nothing else,
- some experiences belong just two the two of you and shouldn't be shared with anyone else,
- you need to keep forgiving each other,
and so on.
In my opinion these are important things and the fact that you probably know most of it already doesn't take away from it. But I see the real strength of the book in the language for talking about love that it offers. It describes the relationship between two people in marriage as a space that is responsive, dynamic, exclusive and sacred, and there is a chapter explaining each of these aspects. As always, language defines our perception, and in this case, I believe, your perception can only benefit from the language presented here.
This section from the end of the book shows the grand and beautiful vision of marriage the authors have:
"There's a lot that's broken in the world, a lot that isn't one. From war and racism and injustice to abuse and addiction and people taking each other to court and families breaking apart. We live in a broken, fractured, fragmented world.
But when you are faithful to each other, zimzuming as you act for the well-being of the other, the space between you becomes a place in the universe that isn't broken and divided but one and whole. This is why the world needs marriage - more marriages, better marriages. The world needs more places that are one and whole. Great marriages shine, they stand out, they inspire, they bring hope, they speak to our deepest desires for a world that is one."
jdauer5's review against another edition
3.0
I wish it was longer and more fleshed out. Great points, but yeah, I wish there was more substance to the book. Favorite part was the explanation of the Trinity and God as an active movement
danisacchi's review against another edition
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
the bells offer beautiful and practical ways to show up in your relationship. in their reflection of "zim zum" they provide ways to nurture marriage while honoring the mystery and reality of its challenges. i appreciate that they cover still being a individual in marriage and how partners can continue to foster independence and growth together. i do feel like the message is more geared toward conservative christians that have an unhealthy and one-sided view of marriage where the wife is merely there to "support" or look pretty. for that kind of audience I can see how this message of mutual respect is radical.
mollymctouch's review against another edition
3.0
I love these two, I really do, but the protect their marriage very carefully. So much that you don’t really feel like you get to know them after having read this. Notably lacking or any real life stories from the deep trenches of marriage.
wesleystephen's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
4.0
need_to_read's review against another edition
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
emjuddz's review against another edition
5.0
This was FABULOUS!
Many of my friends from my same generation aren't seeing the point of marriage anymore, and they make very good points on a lot of levels. However, Rob and Kristen also bring up some pretty important points that are hard to deny; that's saying something in the secular Israeli society I live in, where many are saying no to marriage as a statement.
There are some commenting here who seem to think the idea of ZimZum is silly. I'm Jewish, and I really appreciate that Rob Bell ties his books in with our traditions. Kabbalah is an astounding and ancient tradition that could be hard to grasp for those who haven't studied much about it and aren't very familiar with Judaism. This particular concept comes from Yitzhak Luria's doctrine. If you're a Christian, I recommend diving a little deeper instead of writing off Bell's reference as "silly". It's actually quite beautiful and has helped me look at my relationships in a new light!
But Rob...seriously. In your audiobook, you are NOT pronouncing צמצום correctly D:
Many of my friends from my same generation aren't seeing the point of marriage anymore, and they make very good points on a lot of levels. However, Rob and Kristen also bring up some pretty important points that are hard to deny; that's saying something in the secular Israeli society I live in, where many are saying no to marriage as a statement.
There are some commenting here who seem to think the idea of ZimZum is silly. I'm Jewish, and I really appreciate that Rob Bell ties his books in with our traditions. Kabbalah is an astounding and ancient tradition that could be hard to grasp for those who haven't studied much about it and aren't very familiar with Judaism. This particular concept comes from Yitzhak Luria's doctrine. If you're a Christian, I recommend diving a little deeper instead of writing off Bell's reference as "silly". It's actually quite beautiful and has helped me look at my relationships in a new light!
But Rob...seriously. In your audiobook, you are NOT pronouncing צמצום correctly D: