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peter1rose's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.0
I think I wasn't a big fan of the diction, but it's a stellar book. The author so plainly and intelligently dissects her life and her family history/dynamics that I think a lot of immigrant family, Asian Americans, and especially Indian Americans can deeply relate to. Heartbreaking and loving. Devastating but I think it's a book you should atleast give a try.
lawryn's review
challenging
dark
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
This was emotional and hard to read at times. Prachi does a beautiful job translating her kin onto paper in a way that tells of the cruel and layered complexity of society. There is so much to learn from this voice
stephanieridiculous's review against another edition
5.0
DANG.
This was an exceptional read. I absolutely destroyed my sleep schedule to finish this, it was so good.
Gupta does an incredible job of laying out that non-physical abuse can be so insidious and subtle that it can sometimes take years for people to realize the true nature of what they have been enduring, if they do at all. Her story is a text book definition of concepts like Grooming the Gatekeepers, DARVO, gaslighting, and on and on. Even though she never uses these terms, it vividly brought to my mind the struggles of making people understand how people can be abused with out ever having a bruise - how well respected and well loved members of our communities can be tyrants behind closed doors. Control tactics hidden behind "wanting the best for you" and tying everything to inarguable facets of culture, like respecting your elders. This book has little to do with white Christianity, but I couldn't help but think of the ways white Christian men leverage similar arguments to maintain their own power and control over their wives and daughters.
This book is an insightful read for anyone looking for affirmation and validation that they are not crazy, that what is happening (or did happen) to them was not acceptable, and especially that if they have chosen to buck the system and get out it was the right choice; and also that, the steep cost they paid to do so was too high. Additionally, it would be an incredibly useful read for people needing to deepen their understanding of things like isolation, economic abuse (limiting access to finances or ability to make your own money), how control over health care can be used to abuse/manipulate people (intercepting health planning to make decisions without consulting the patient in order to maintain control over the narrative and the person), the quiet but substantial cost of not complying, and on and on.
content/trigger warnings for emotional/verbal/physical abuse, SA, suicide, mental health.
This is a book I will be adding to my physical collection quickly & be thinking about for a long long time. I am so grateful to people like Gupta who are paving the way for more honest, open, and candid conversations about such difficult topics - for helping people shed the shame they shouldn't have had to carry for so long.
This was an exceptional read. I absolutely destroyed my sleep schedule to finish this, it was so good.
Gupta does an incredible job of laying out that non-physical abuse can be so insidious and subtle that it can sometimes take years for people to realize the true nature of what they have been enduring, if they do at all. Her story is a text book definition of concepts like Grooming the Gatekeepers, DARVO, gaslighting, and on and on. Even though she never uses these terms, it vividly brought to my mind the struggles of making people understand how people can be abused with out ever having a bruise - how well respected and well loved members of our communities can be tyrants behind closed doors. Control tactics hidden behind "wanting the best for you" and tying everything to inarguable facets of culture, like respecting your elders. This book has little to do with white Christianity, but I couldn't help but think of the ways white Christian men leverage similar arguments to maintain their own power and control over their wives and daughters.
This book is an insightful read for anyone looking for affirmation and validation that they are not crazy, that what is happening (or did happen) to them was not acceptable, and especially that if they have chosen to buck the system and get out it was the right choice; and also that, the steep cost they paid to do so was too high. Additionally, it would be an incredibly useful read for people needing to deepen their understanding of things like isolation, economic abuse (limiting access to finances or ability to make your own money), how control over health care can be used to abuse/manipulate people (intercepting health planning to make decisions without consulting the patient in order to maintain control over the narrative and the person), the quiet but substantial cost of not complying, and on and on.
content/trigger warnings for emotional/verbal/physical abuse, SA, suicide, mental health.
This is a book I will be adding to my physical collection quickly & be thinking about for a long long time. I am so grateful to people like Gupta who are paving the way for more honest, open, and candid conversations about such difficult topics - for helping people shed the shame they shouldn't have had to carry for so long.
brigid_'s review against another edition
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.75
The emotional work here is so moving
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide attempt, Child abuse, and Emotional abuse
kendra_kendra's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.0
librabby's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Suicide and Suicide attempt