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siavahda's review
I received a copy of this book from the publisher via Net-Galley in exchange for an honest review.
It's not a good sign when you can't finish reading a *novella*. But I couldn't finish this one. The opening pages were just terrible. First-person narration is always hit-or-miss, and this was a very definite miss; I couldn't stand the main character's 'voice', and the writing is just. Kind of a trainwreck.
In our opening, the main character is 'a little dizzy' from drinking ginger ale. I'd like to know how that's possible, since ginger ale is non-alcoholic in it's modern form. But maybe the alleged tipsiness is supposed to excuse sentences like this
'Actually, "it" was a "he", so I should call him that instead. I'm all about giving respect when it's deserved or earned.'
What? I genuinely don't understand what's being said here. Is she claiming that using the correct pronoun is a sign of respect? It's basic courtesy, and it's definitely disrespectful to refuse to use a person's chosen pronouns, but this is being framed like calling him 'he' is similar to calling him 'sir', which is bizarre.
'He' is a ghost, who is in fact not a ghost, but 'a deity who resides in all through which information communication is transmitted.' On its own, this is an interesting concept, but...a god? An actual *god* has appeared in your living room, and it's only vaguely startling, and where did he come from? Are there other gods? What makes him a god? What does this mean for religion in the world of this novella?
'So again, like a goof, I asked him again: "You mean you're from the telephone company?'
Okay, the character is 'tipsy' (somehow) and I guess people do and say ridiculous things when they're tipsy. But it's the repeated 'again' in that sentence that makes me twitch - it's something very basic that should have been edited out of the first draft. But that's kind of the problem; this novella reads like a first draft that *really* needs a few more rounds of edits. It's jerky, awkward, and random (not in a good way), and the writing itself is incredibly unpolished. An interesting premise can't save from terrible execution.
It's not a good sign when you can't finish reading a *novella*. But I couldn't finish this one. The opening pages were just terrible. First-person narration is always hit-or-miss, and this was a very definite miss; I couldn't stand the main character's 'voice', and the writing is just. Kind of a trainwreck.
In our opening, the main character is 'a little dizzy' from drinking ginger ale. I'd like to know how that's possible, since ginger ale is non-alcoholic in it's modern form. But maybe the alleged tipsiness is supposed to excuse sentences like this
'Actually, "it" was a "he", so I should call him that instead. I'm all about giving respect when it's deserved or earned.'
What? I genuinely don't understand what's being said here. Is she claiming that using the correct pronoun is a sign of respect? It's basic courtesy, and it's definitely disrespectful to refuse to use a person's chosen pronouns, but this is being framed like calling him 'he' is similar to calling him 'sir', which is bizarre.
'He' is a ghost, who is in fact not a ghost, but 'a deity who resides in all through which information communication is transmitted.' On its own, this is an interesting concept, but...a god? An actual *god* has appeared in your living room, and it's only vaguely startling, and where did he come from? Are there other gods? What makes him a god? What does this mean for religion in the world of this novella?
'So again, like a goof, I asked him again: "You mean you're from the telephone company?'
Okay, the character is 'tipsy' (somehow) and I guess people do and say ridiculous things when they're tipsy. But it's the repeated 'again' in that sentence that makes me twitch - it's something very basic that should have been edited out of the first draft. But that's kind of the problem; this novella reads like a first draft that *really* needs a few more rounds of edits. It's jerky, awkward, and random (not in a good way), and the writing itself is incredibly unpolished. An interesting premise can't save from terrible execution.
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