Reviews with content warning for Self harm - A Study in Drowning

"Better to pen a story of your own. Better to build your own house, with a foundation that was strong, with windows that let in plenty of light."

I have officially found my favorite book of 2023. I definitely didn't expect it to be a young adult book, but I'm certainly glad that it is Ava Reid's newest release.

“Lovely and dangerous and vast beyond mortal comprehension, the sea makes dreamers of us all.”

WARNING: SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT

"I was a woman when it was convenient to blame me, and a girl when they wanted to use me."

"I know you think I am a little girl, and what could a little girl know about eternity? But I do know this: whether you survive the ocean or you don't, whether you are lost or whether the waves deliver you back to the shore—every story is told in the language of water, in tongues of salt and foam. And the sea, the sea, it whispers the secrets of how all things end."

Along with not expecting a YA book to become my favorite this year, I did not expect Effy to become the protagonist I connect to the most of Ava Reid's characters. I've always felt a particular bond to Marlinchen, so when I had to marathon A Study in Drowning because I could not get enough of this world or Effy, I was pleasantly surprised. Effy actually ended up comforting me in the most surprising circumstance. I had a triggering experience at my jury duty, and it was A Study in Drowning and notably Effy's constant push through her own anxieties that got me through that day. Her thought process (ex: her anxiety in thinking about the perceptions of her trauma from loved ones or strangers) particularly about Ianto and Corbenic were helpful for my own digestion of my youth and triggers. Effy's still coming to terms with her trauma and experiences—much like myself—and it was a balm on my heart to have her going through it alongside me.

"I will love you to ruination."

I think this book, much like Ava's other books, is going to comfort a ton of readers like myself and even help people start their journey to healing. I never thought Effy would bring so many emotions and tears out of me, but she is wringing me out to dry in the best way possible for my mental health. Effy and even Angharad's journeys will stay with me for as long as I'm able to hold them close.

"There's very little worse than when our heroes fail us, is there?"

Now getting beyond my own emotional attachment to this book—A Study in Drowning is the type of gothic, dark academia literature that I YEARN for and rarely ever find. It has the perfect blend of those genres with its own unique magic. I want dark academia in particular to branch out away from books like The Secret History because the genre has more to it than focusing solely on those narratives.

"But stories were devious things, things with agendas. They could cheat and steal and lie to your face. They could crumble away under your feet."

Moreover, Ava adds in some wonderful commentary and criticism between the North and South stereotypes and biases within A Study in Drowning's world. This tension between these two regions only intensified the mystery and world building of this world. I'm actually from the south here in the U.S., and while I don't believe Ava was basing this part of their world off of the US. north and south regions, I felt very vindicated in Effy and Preston's understanding and respect of the region. Their desire to actually understand the people living there rather than trivializing or stereotyping them was sooooo refreshing. It made their search for Myrddin's truth more genuine.

"I come for the girls who are left out in the cold. They cannot belong anywhere else but with me."

Furthermore, if you are a big fan of traditional faerie/fae lore, look no further than this book! While it does not taste immediate center stage, the faeries are an underlying current throughout the entirety of this book. A Study in Drowning is also one of the only examples I can give nowadays that actually leans into true faerie lore and not the ones dominating the romantasy genre. The Fairy King is terrifying and creepy. He feels like a culmination of so many nightmares and toxic men that thrive off of abusing their power. His deep, unsettling connection to Effy also made so much sense. Her being left by her neglectful mother in a clearing because she was believed to be a changeling just... it blew my mind to learn of that in the reveal. It also brought so much of her personality and relationships (mother in particular) into better perspective. I wanted to squeeze Effy so tight and never let her go in those moments. Lastly, in terms of the Fairy King, his final scene with Effy is one that still hasn't left me. It was electrically charged and horrifying. Again, Ava's callback to mirrors and faerie lore made this entire end to the antagonist so much sweeter. A lore-obsessed child using her own wits and intuition was a perfect conclusion to her big bad.

"Maybe the idea of constancy is what's actually terrifying. Fear of the sea is fear of the eternal—because how can you win against something so enduring. So vast and so deep."

Books overall play such a tumultuous relationship in A Study in Drowning. Honestly, it is very meta from Myrddin's role as a Sleeper all the way to Effy actually meeting Angharad. A Study in Drowning talks about authors, readers, the influence of books and literature on society, and I find that incredibly fascinating. I could write a whole entire thesis about the ins and outs of books' effects on society at large. Even Effy's own unique relationship to Angharad as a strong, independent female lead is a stepping stone on how ASID's world negatively depicts women besides this singular book. Without Effy's deep connection to Angharad, we would not have a plot. A Study in Drowning goes to show that books are not what they seem, same with authors, and while we may create our own assumptions about authors or books based off of the material, we do not know the reality behind the written word—or very few actually do. Readers abilities to revere authors and public figures is not a healthy lifestyle and usually will only lead to disappointment. Power almost always taints the wielder, maybe already has, and Effy's journey to understanding this was a long and hard one to read. But it was also beautiful in this coming of age story.

"Ret eo anavezout a-raok karout. 'One must know before loving.'"

Finally, I couldn't write this review without commenting on Effy and Preston's relationship. I am a slow build romance junkie. It will always be the best trope when don correctly, and obviously, A Study in Drowning did it perfectly. Preston reminded me a ton of my own partner in many of the scenes where he gives Effy the space or time to understand her own anxiety or feelings. He's the type of love interest, especially in young adult books, that makes me excited for young readers. He teaches respect and gentle love in the best manner possible. In the climax, I was shaking with horror as he was chained near the drowning basement steps. I was so stressed that not only something would happen to Effy (fuck the Fairy King), but that Preston would die immobile, knowing he could not do everything in his power to help her fight off the Fairy King. It was something that brought on his own trauma, and it empowered him and Effy's bond, their complementing of one another's strengths and weaknesses, when she came back for him. It's leads like Preston that make me excited for this age range/genre of books.

"Trees didn't die when they were cut down, did they? Their dying took months, years. What a terrible fate to endure."

Also, Ava Reid's acknowledgment to Zelda brought my tears back on full blast. I thought of Zelda many times throughout the course of this novel, and I even theorized Myrddin's wife was the actual writer of Angharad. It felt full circle to see Zelda referenced and remembered—believed in—in the acknowledgements.

"What defines a romance? All scholars seem to converge on a single point: it is a story that must have a happy ending. And why is that? I say, it is because a romance is a belief in the impossible: that anything ends happily. For the only true end is death—and in this way, is romance not a rebuke of mortality? When love is here, I am not. When love is not, I am gone. Perhaps a romance is a story with no end at all; where the end is but a wardrobe with a false back, leading to stranger and more merciful worlds."

Thank you to Harper's Children's team and NetGalley for the opportunity to review this eARC. It was so special to read it early, and I'm eternally thankful. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

"The sea is a thing no sword can slay."

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