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smajoros's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
gadicohen93's review against another edition
5.0
I almost didn't finish this book. Multiple times. I had at least one anxiety attack in the middle of it. It's taken me almost two weeks to get to the end. It's one of the most painful books I've ever read, unvarnished sorrow, alarming in how realistic it seemed. I picked it up after my dog died but as I was coming out of my grief, I fell into Meghan O'Rourke's -- a ravaging, fierce grief that, while very specific, also spoke to the universality of the awful experience of losing someone close.
I found the first half of the book almost unreadable. Not because of the writing, which was exquisite and delicate and vociferously sincere, but because the experience of watching your mother die slowly felt so excruciating. At one point, toward the end of her mother's life, faced with the inevitability of my own looming demise, I had to put the book down for a few days and think about what I'm doing with my life. The second half, too, was harrowing -- the author felt her mother's absence so sharply, and there was no way for her to overcome the pain.
I loved how, after her mother's death, O'Rourke starts recovering and seeing the world in a new light. To me, it seemed like she saw everything in a new color, everything weighted down by its mortality but also freed of another kind of weight. The beautiful excerpts of other people's experiences of grief were powerful, too. I should re-read this book one day in a slower, more careful manner to fully comprehend O'Rourke's pain.
I found the first half of the book almost unreadable. Not because of the writing, which was exquisite and delicate and vociferously sincere, but because the experience of watching your mother die slowly felt so excruciating. At one point, toward the end of her mother's life, faced with the inevitability of my own looming demise, I had to put the book down for a few days and think about what I'm doing with my life. The second half, too, was harrowing -- the author felt her mother's absence so sharply, and there was no way for her to overcome the pain.
I loved how, after her mother's death, O'Rourke starts recovering and seeing the world in a new light. To me, it seemed like she saw everything in a new color, everything weighted down by its mortality but also freed of another kind of weight. The beautiful excerpts of other people's experiences of grief were powerful, too. I should re-read this book one day in a slower, more careful manner to fully comprehend O'Rourke's pain.
jemiscool's review against another edition
2.0
I don't really like grief memoirs. They seem too self-absorbed; they concentrate on one person's loss instead of connecting it to everyone. O'Rourke did make her own grief universal; she is a good writer and an engaging person. Her family would be great to be friends with. She's able to capture characters and write them smoothly; the book is also full of insights into human nature which are very interesting but after a while, they all seem the same.
I guess the bottom line is, I don't really like grief memoirs. They're often depressing. It's difficult to write about death in a way that will not make it depressing.
N.B.: This book was sent to me through Goodreads giveaways.
I guess the bottom line is, I don't really like grief memoirs. They're often depressing. It's difficult to write about death in a way that will not make it depressing.
N.B.: This book was sent to me through Goodreads giveaways.
katherinefontan's review against another edition
5.0
Reading this was like if Meghan O'Rourke went into the deepest part of my grief, studied it, and wrote a research paper on it. Every single time I opened this book, I cried. It forced me to face what I did not want to: my father is dead, and I will be grieving for the rest of my life.
O'Rourke's mother passed away from terminal cancer, and The Long Goodbye serves as her testimony through this experience- from the spectacular to the the gut-wrenching.
Favorite quotes (there is a lot but this is a narrowed list):
-"Every time we had a cup of coffee together (when she was well enough to drink coffee), I thought, against my will: This could be the last time I have coffee with my mother.
-"I missed holding her hand and putting my head on her shoulder- all the loose intimacies of childhood. When I realized how sick she was, I started forcing myself to do these things."
-"Like a fool, I fell in love with you, I thought, looking at my mom on the couch. But you were always likely to die first."
-"To live is to worry, to wonder when the last hour comes, as one day it will."
-"In his heart of hearts he often believes that the dead do not return yet he is committed to the task of recovering one who is dead. It is no wonder that he feels that the world has lost its purpose, and no longer makes sense."
-"I dreamt of you again last night. And when I woke up it was as if you had died afresh. Every day I find it harder to bear. For what point is there in life now?... It is impossible to think that I shall never sit with you again and hear your laugh. That every day for the rest of my life you will be away." (not her quote but still so good).
-"One of the grubby things about a loss is that you don't just mourn the dead person, you mourn the person you got to be when the lost one was alive...'I am sorry for all the things your mother is going to miss.'"
-"I'm going to miss her hands, I thought, my throat tightening. I had an idea: I'll just take her hands and keep them."
-"The moment when I flash upon my mother's smile and face and realize she is dead, I experience the same lurch, the same confusion, the same sense of impossibility. A year ago collapses into yesterday in these moments. Periodically for the rest of my life, my mother's death will seem like it took place yesterday."
-"But to expect grief to heal is to imagine that it is possible to stop loving, to reconcile yourself to the fact that the lost one is somewhere else."
-"A memory reaches out and touches my mind and I live proximate to it all day long- talking, writing, working, hearing my mother's voice saying, 'Here comes the spring.' And I will keep hearing her voice every spring until I, too, see my last spring."
O'Rourke's mother passed away from terminal cancer, and The Long Goodbye serves as her testimony through this experience- from the spectacular to the the gut-wrenching.
Favorite quotes (there is a lot but this is a narrowed list):
-"Every time we had a cup of coffee together (when she was well enough to drink coffee), I thought, against my will: This could be the last time I have coffee with my mother.
-"I missed holding her hand and putting my head on her shoulder- all the loose intimacies of childhood. When I realized how sick she was, I started forcing myself to do these things."
-"Like a fool, I fell in love with you, I thought, looking at my mom on the couch. But you were always likely to die first."
-"To live is to worry, to wonder when the last hour comes, as one day it will."
-"In his heart of hearts he often believes that the dead do not return yet he is committed to the task of recovering one who is dead. It is no wonder that he feels that the world has lost its purpose, and no longer makes sense."
-"I dreamt of you again last night. And when I woke up it was as if you had died afresh. Every day I find it harder to bear. For what point is there in life now?... It is impossible to think that I shall never sit with you again and hear your laugh. That every day for the rest of my life you will be away." (not her quote but still so good).
-"One of the grubby things about a loss is that you don't just mourn the dead person, you mourn the person you got to be when the lost one was alive...'I am sorry for all the things your mother is going to miss.'"
-"I'm going to miss her hands, I thought, my throat tightening. I had an idea: I'll just take her hands and keep them."
-"The moment when I flash upon my mother's smile and face and realize she is dead, I experience the same lurch, the same confusion, the same sense of impossibility. A year ago collapses into yesterday in these moments. Periodically for the rest of my life, my mother's death will seem like it took place yesterday."
-"But to expect grief to heal is to imagine that it is possible to stop loving, to reconcile yourself to the fact that the lost one is somewhere else."
-"A memory reaches out and touches my mind and I live proximate to it all day long- talking, writing, working, hearing my mother's voice saying, 'Here comes the spring.' And I will keep hearing her voice every spring until I, too, see my last spring."
cathyatratedreads's review against another edition
4.0
A thoughtful look at what it is to mourn and how it feels in today's society. Having lost a parent as the author did, I felt often I knew exactly what she meant.
Read my full review, including a rating for content, at RatedReads.com: https://ratedreads.com/long-goodbye-nonfiction-book-review/
Read my full review, including a rating for content, at RatedReads.com: https://ratedreads.com/long-goodbye-nonfiction-book-review/
xibalba133's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
laceywebs's review against another edition
2.0
A love story with a bit of a twist, this book is good, but not earth-shattering or wonderful. It is good for a rainy day read. It starts slow, but picks up towards the middle and ends well. I think it may be better for the over 40 crowd... The characters are older and it was hard as a mid-twenties reader to connect with them when they discussed aging, having grown kids, being in long-lasting marriages, etc. I appreciated the story line, but overall, it wasn't something I really got into.
wescovington's review against another edition
5.0
Meghan O'Rourke, who has been published mostly as poet, penned a memoir of her mother's death and her own grieving process that is simply remarkable. She has managed to take one of the most personal and painful moments in any one's life and turn into a wonderfully-written examination of life, death, and all that comes with it.
O'Rourke's mother died of colorectal cancer at age 55 on Christmas Day in 2008. It was not easy on O'Rourke or the rest of her family. But, was the pain she felt different than what others go through. As it turns out, it was not. While grief may look different to certain people, it does go through similar processes (although not as cut and died as the Kubler-Ross five stages of death).
The author wishes that American society had more ritualized grieving practices as other countries do. However, the U.S. is a country where we still want people to often "just get over it." But, grief is not something you just slough off like a sprained ankle. It's a pain that lasts in some form for nearly all of your life. (I view grief as a chronic illness that you just manage to keep yourself going.)
The last chapter of the book, which ran online in Slate, is breathtakingly beautiful. O'Rourke examines herself and her mother, and what life without her is like. It's something she hoped she never would have to write.
O'Rourke's mother died of colorectal cancer at age 55 on Christmas Day in 2008. It was not easy on O'Rourke or the rest of her family. But, was the pain she felt different than what others go through. As it turns out, it was not. While grief may look different to certain people, it does go through similar processes (although not as cut and died as the Kubler-Ross five stages of death).
The author wishes that American society had more ritualized grieving practices as other countries do. However, the U.S. is a country where we still want people to often "just get over it." But, grief is not something you just slough off like a sprained ankle. It's a pain that lasts in some form for nearly all of your life. (I view grief as a chronic illness that you just manage to keep yourself going.)
The last chapter of the book, which ran online in Slate, is breathtakingly beautiful. O'Rourke examines herself and her mother, and what life without her is like. It's something she hoped she never would have to write.
irishlibrarian's review against another edition
4.0
Brutally honest, tragically true. Thank you, thank you, thank you to Rachael who recommend this book so highly to me.