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zoe_e_w's review against another edition
2.0
So, I finished Troll or Derby today, and then I slammed two double rum and cokes to stop my shaking. I also got out my tobacco and chain-smoked two ciggies in a row. It's times like this when I wish I was sane, and that books didn't have so much power over me. But I completely lost it over my feelings of betrayal for how badly this book turned out in the end.
I started off loving this story, praising it with every chapter update I did on Twitter. And then right around the 50% mark, it all went horribly, terribly pear-shaped. I kept reading, hoping that it was just a minor stumble, and the book would get back on track. But with each page, I got more and more upset. I started sighing with EVERY paragraph, and by the time I got done, I was grinding my dentures so hard, I gave myself blisters on my gums.
Troll or Derby starts off great, following two characters in first person POV, Deb and Harlow. Deb is a young fairy who thinks she's human. After saving her drug addict sister from a fire in a drug dealer's trailer, she quickly finds out her mother is a foster parent, and that she's a protector who's supposed to be assigned to watch her foster sister. Since her sister, Gennifer, gets kidnapped right at the start of the book, Deb is kicked out of the house and told she must save her sister, OR ELSE.
The other half of the book is told by Harlow, a troll who is bound to Deb. Harlow's cousin Dave is the person who kidnapped Gennifer for his father Jagger, and Dave is also a drug dealer, a rapist, a murderer, and a child molester. He's about as charming as he sounds, believe me. Dave is trying to capture Deb, and Harlow is trying to protect Deb, though he's not really sure why at first.
The first 20 chapters, I was so hooked into this plot. The world building was great. The characters had my sympathy, and the dialogue was fantastic. Every little detail about the mystical world set in the Midwest felt fresh and exciting. But around the midway point, the whole thing falls apart. It starts with Harlow being completely incapable of answering simple questions, and his chapters start to feel like padding rather than advancing the story. Even when he says "I'll answer your questions," he fails to answer the two most important ones Deb kept asking. And there was never a valid reason given for his inability to play her straight.
But then Deb becomes hands down one of the stupidest characters I've ever read. At the midway point, she's been told no less than five times that she isn't human. She's fought trolls, slid through teleportation spells, journeyed to a troll market, fought pixies, and knocked out a troll. (resulting in her getting iron poisoning, more signs of her inhuman nature. Oh, and she shrinks and grows during this same fight.) AND YET, despite all this evidence that she's not human, she's still going "Wait, what? Is this real? Am I really not human? Am I on drugs?" Despite being hunted by a villain she's been told is pure evil, Deb abandons Harlow and goes directly to the villain alone. This is the point when I started shaking my head and asking, "But why? Even small children have more common sense than this."
Deb is repeatedly told, "Don't drink or eat anything offered by the fae." She even gets told by the villain, "Drink this so I can control your mind." And despite thinking, "I probably shouldn't," SHE STILL DOES ANYWAY.
Thing get worse. While Harlow's padded chapters seem to take place in one day, Deb's chapters speak of weeks of training for roller derby. Why roller derby? Because the author is a former roller girl, and she's writing what she knows. It makes ZERO sense in the context of the story. This whole story could have been better served without the roller derby angle. It would be like me writing a book where a fairy must use their skills as a computer technician to save the world, just because I used to be a compute technician. This may actually be a case for forgetting what you know and just stick with making stuff up.
And, while I'm complaining, Deb abandons Harlow, her only ally, not because of any valid reasons, but because she "needs a skating fix." Now folks, I'm addicted to writing. But if my sister were in danger and I was being hunted by half my town, I don't believe I'd step out on my only ally so I could jot down notes for a new book. And I certainly wouldn't go to the evil dude who owns half the town to ask him "Can you help me work on a new outline?" From here on out, because of her vapid decision making, I actively hated Deb.
The second half of the book has the time displacement issue I mentioned, but the dialogue falls apart as quickly as the world logic and the character consistency. The violent nature of the fae in this would have seemed more fitting for a big city full of fae gangs, where death and disappearances are taken for granted. But this is a small town, and I just didn't buy it. At one point, Harlow mentions that Jagger runs the church, and that the people who go in never leave. But no one ever notices all these disappearances. Being that I have lived in small towns my whole life, where nothing is a secret for very long, the idea that these fae had been acting this violently for years without trouble...it just didn't ring true.
I also didn't buy how much of the town was trolls, fae, or some hybrid of the two. If there's so much supernatural stuff living in town, why bother hiding at all? The story went from feeling realistic for the setting to being so over the top that I couldn't help but sigh with every new character introduced who (shock of shocks) wasn't human.
And then there's a minor gripe about removed teeth. Harlow takes two of Deb's wisdom teeth to make a marriage pact. That's not the problem. The problem is, despite having two holes in her gums, Deb eats normal food right after. Deb has two gaping holes in her gums, but goes all out rollerskating. Deb spits a lot. "But why is this a big deal?" you say. Because after having wisdom teeth removed, you can't eat solid food for a week or two. You can't do heavy physical activity without risking rupturing the growing blood vessels in the sockets, and you're advised by the dentist not to spit because doing so draws out the newly forming gum flesh and results in dry sockets. Now okay, maybe I'm only aware of this because I not only had my wisdom teeth pried out, but also had 23 extractions done in the same surgery. But the fact is, this is all online in dental surgery after-care pages. It's basic research, information that would be easy to look up. And it's just one more part of the story that irked me because the whole thing becomes so lazy in the second half.
When the book heads for a final confrontation, it's a visually confusing mess made even worse by the villain, Jagger, talking "evil" but mostly coming off as a moron. I want to give bonus points for a Muppets reference late in the game, but only a few sentences later, I was screaming "WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Not even the arrival of a badass black unicorn can save this ending.
I know people probably think I'm exaggerating, but after finishing this, I was so upset by how badly it turned out that I slammed two mixed drink drinks and cried while I shook and hugged myself. I'm pretty sure sane people don't react to bad endings like this, and I'm relatively sure they wouldn't have as many problems as I do with the inconsistencies in this story. I had to spend almost an hour telling myself "It's only a book." Out loud. Over and over. Pretty sure your mileage will vary.
The last time I felt this betrayed by a book was Shiver, and for much the same reason. It had a great introduction, great characters, and dialogue that cracks and made me laugh out loud. And for me, it's a much bigger sin to have a book start out great only to end dismally than it is for a book to be consistently weak from start to finish. But I didn't even get this upset over Shiver as I did at this, because it failed on all counts when it had all been going so great.
Despite loving the first half, I'm forced to give Troll or Derby 2 stars. I wish I could say something more positive, but I really haven't felt this betrayed by a story in a long time.
I started off loving this story, praising it with every chapter update I did on Twitter. And then right around the 50% mark, it all went horribly, terribly pear-shaped. I kept reading, hoping that it was just a minor stumble, and the book would get back on track. But with each page, I got more and more upset. I started sighing with EVERY paragraph, and by the time I got done, I was grinding my dentures so hard, I gave myself blisters on my gums.
Troll or Derby starts off great, following two characters in first person POV, Deb and Harlow. Deb is a young fairy who thinks she's human. After saving her drug addict sister from a fire in a drug dealer's trailer, she quickly finds out her mother is a foster parent, and that she's a protector who's supposed to be assigned to watch her foster sister. Since her sister, Gennifer, gets kidnapped right at the start of the book, Deb is kicked out of the house and told she must save her sister, OR ELSE.
The other half of the book is told by Harlow, a troll who is bound to Deb. Harlow's cousin Dave is the person who kidnapped Gennifer for his father Jagger, and Dave is also a drug dealer, a rapist, a murderer, and a child molester. He's about as charming as he sounds, believe me. Dave is trying to capture Deb, and Harlow is trying to protect Deb, though he's not really sure why at first.
The first 20 chapters, I was so hooked into this plot. The world building was great. The characters had my sympathy, and the dialogue was fantastic. Every little detail about the mystical world set in the Midwest felt fresh and exciting. But around the midway point, the whole thing falls apart. It starts with Harlow being completely incapable of answering simple questions, and his chapters start to feel like padding rather than advancing the story. Even when he says "I'll answer your questions," he fails to answer the two most important ones Deb kept asking. And there was never a valid reason given for his inability to play her straight.
But then Deb becomes hands down one of the stupidest characters I've ever read. At the midway point, she's been told no less than five times that she isn't human. She's fought trolls, slid through teleportation spells, journeyed to a troll market, fought pixies, and knocked out a troll. (resulting in her getting iron poisoning, more signs of her inhuman nature. Oh, and she shrinks and grows during this same fight.) AND YET, despite all this evidence that she's not human, she's still going "Wait, what? Is this real? Am I really not human? Am I on drugs?" Despite being hunted by a villain she's been told is pure evil, Deb abandons Harlow and goes directly to the villain alone. This is the point when I started shaking my head and asking, "But why? Even small children have more common sense than this."
Deb is repeatedly told, "Don't drink or eat anything offered by the fae." She even gets told by the villain, "Drink this so I can control your mind." And despite thinking, "I probably shouldn't," SHE STILL DOES ANYWAY.
Thing get worse. While Harlow's padded chapters seem to take place in one day, Deb's chapters speak of weeks of training for roller derby. Why roller derby? Because the author is a former roller girl, and she's writing what she knows. It makes ZERO sense in the context of the story. This whole story could have been better served without the roller derby angle. It would be like me writing a book where a fairy must use their skills as a computer technician to save the world, just because I used to be a compute technician. This may actually be a case for forgetting what you know and just stick with making stuff up.
And, while I'm complaining, Deb abandons Harlow, her only ally, not because of any valid reasons, but because she "needs a skating fix." Now folks, I'm addicted to writing. But if my sister were in danger and I was being hunted by half my town, I don't believe I'd step out on my only ally so I could jot down notes for a new book. And I certainly wouldn't go to the evil dude who owns half the town to ask him "Can you help me work on a new outline?" From here on out, because of her vapid decision making, I actively hated Deb.
The second half of the book has the time displacement issue I mentioned, but the dialogue falls apart as quickly as the world logic and the character consistency. The violent nature of the fae in this would have seemed more fitting for a big city full of fae gangs, where death and disappearances are taken for granted. But this is a small town, and I just didn't buy it. At one point, Harlow mentions that Jagger runs the church, and that the people who go in never leave. But no one ever notices all these disappearances. Being that I have lived in small towns my whole life, where nothing is a secret for very long, the idea that these fae had been acting this violently for years without trouble...it just didn't ring true.
I also didn't buy how much of the town was trolls, fae, or some hybrid of the two. If there's so much supernatural stuff living in town, why bother hiding at all? The story went from feeling realistic for the setting to being so over the top that I couldn't help but sigh with every new character introduced who (shock of shocks) wasn't human.
And then there's a minor gripe about removed teeth. Harlow takes two of Deb's wisdom teeth to make a marriage pact. That's not the problem. The problem is, despite having two holes in her gums, Deb eats normal food right after. Deb has two gaping holes in her gums, but goes all out rollerskating. Deb spits a lot. "But why is this a big deal?" you say. Because after having wisdom teeth removed, you can't eat solid food for a week or two. You can't do heavy physical activity without risking rupturing the growing blood vessels in the sockets, and you're advised by the dentist not to spit because doing so draws out the newly forming gum flesh and results in dry sockets. Now okay, maybe I'm only aware of this because I not only had my wisdom teeth pried out, but also had 23 extractions done in the same surgery. But the fact is, this is all online in dental surgery after-care pages. It's basic research, information that would be easy to look up. And it's just one more part of the story that irked me because the whole thing becomes so lazy in the second half.
When the book heads for a final confrontation, it's a visually confusing mess made even worse by the villain, Jagger, talking "evil" but mostly coming off as a moron. I want to give bonus points for a Muppets reference late in the game, but only a few sentences later, I was screaming "WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Not even the arrival of a badass black unicorn can save this ending.
I know people probably think I'm exaggerating, but after finishing this, I was so upset by how badly it turned out that I slammed two mixed drink drinks and cried while I shook and hugged myself. I'm pretty sure sane people don't react to bad endings like this, and I'm relatively sure they wouldn't have as many problems as I do with the inconsistencies in this story. I had to spend almost an hour telling myself "It's only a book." Out loud. Over and over. Pretty sure your mileage will vary.
The last time I felt this betrayed by a book was Shiver, and for much the same reason. It had a great introduction, great characters, and dialogue that cracks and made me laugh out loud. And for me, it's a much bigger sin to have a book start out great only to end dismally than it is for a book to be consistently weak from start to finish. But I didn't even get this upset over Shiver as I did at this, because it failed on all counts when it had all been going so great.
Despite loving the first half, I'm forced to give Troll or Derby 2 stars. I wish I could say something more positive, but I really haven't felt this betrayed by a story in a long time.
josie_lunarkitcat's review against another edition
4.0
4½ stars. Red Tash does a wonderful job creating her world of Trolls and Fairies. Written with detail, it is a great book with suspense and some scenes that made me cringe. AS for Harlow and Deb. I love how their relationship is developing. I will definitely read the next book!
setaian's review against another edition
5.0
Sex and Drugs and Rock'n'Roller Derby
"Interrogating a pixie isn't as fun as it sounds. I tried
to keep it nice, but the little guys are vicious biters, and
I may have squished one."
Roller Deb is 15, she lives in a trailer with her mom who despises her, her home-coming queen sister, and she's the target of town bullies.
When her sister is kidnapped by the local mafia she finds help from an unlikely source.
Harlow is a troll who doesn't remember his past. All he knows is he has to protect Roller Deb and together they embark on a mission to rescue Deb's sister and overthrow the local mob boss.
Troll or Derby has it all...it's got trolls and fairies, gangsters, roller derby, sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. It's a dystopian fairy tale that's great fun and completely addictive.
Many thanks to Red Tash in conjunction with The Indie Bookshelf for providing me with a review copy of this book.
...I just wanna say, that is one of the best covers I've seen this year!
"Interrogating a pixie isn't as fun as it sounds. I tried
to keep it nice, but the little guys are vicious biters, and
I may have squished one."
Roller Deb is 15, she lives in a trailer with her mom who despises her, her home-coming queen sister, and she's the target of town bullies.
When her sister is kidnapped by the local mafia she finds help from an unlikely source.
Harlow is a troll who doesn't remember his past. All he knows is he has to protect Roller Deb and together they embark on a mission to rescue Deb's sister and overthrow the local mob boss.
Troll or Derby has it all...it's got trolls and fairies, gangsters, roller derby, sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. It's a dystopian fairy tale that's great fun and completely addictive.
Many thanks to Red Tash in conjunction with The Indie Bookshelf for providing me with a review copy of this book.
...I just wanna say, that is one of the best covers I've seen this year!
cheahelicia's review against another edition
5.0
You can also find this review at http://girlinthewoodsreviews.blogspot.com
Detailed Review: I love everything about this book. The cover, the story, the characters, the setting you name it. If I was given the chance to say more about it, I would just say that it was an extraordinary read for me, something that was not mundane and doesn't occur daily.
I drank everything in, from start to end and I realise something. Even though with something like roller derby mixed in together with fantasy such as trolls and fairies, everything is still amazing.
Red, you are one awesome writer.
So, in Troll or Derby, it is basically about how Roller Deb loves to skate and is pulled into a world where roller derby is important and a gruesome source of entertainment. It doesn't help Deb deal with Jag McJagger, king of the trolls, who badly wants her on his team. And the fact that she is her sister Gennifer's Protector and she has to go and rescue her from Jag. So with no other choice, she joins roller derby and Jag's daughter April. or Alma Steevil (Almost Evil). Soon she finds that she starts to forget everything else but her present life. But with the help of her husband Harlow (yes she's married, to a troll against her will) she immediately shakes herself into reality and slays the evil king Jag.
The End.
But if you want more, you really have got to read it yourself. I guarantee, this is a five-star read.
Brief Review: OMG. Someone shoot me. I possibly have no idea what other things to say besides the fact that it's amazing. My reviewing career is ending here.
Final Rating: 5/5 "Totally Amazing!"
Detailed Review: I love everything about this book. The cover, the story, the characters, the setting you name it. If I was given the chance to say more about it, I would just say that it was an extraordinary read for me, something that was not mundane and doesn't occur daily.
I drank everything in, from start to end and I realise something. Even though with something like roller derby mixed in together with fantasy such as trolls and fairies, everything is still amazing.
Red, you are one awesome writer.
So, in Troll or Derby, it is basically about how Roller Deb loves to skate and is pulled into a world where roller derby is important and a gruesome source of entertainment. It doesn't help Deb deal with Jag McJagger, king of the trolls, who badly wants her on his team. And the fact that she is her sister Gennifer's Protector and she has to go and rescue her from Jag. So with no other choice, she joins roller derby and Jag's daughter April. or Alma Steevil (Almost Evil). Soon she finds that she starts to forget everything else but her present life. But with the help of her husband Harlow (yes she's married, to a troll against her will) she immediately shakes herself into reality and slays the evil king Jag.
The End.
But if you want more, you really have got to read it yourself. I guarantee, this is a five-star read.
Brief Review: OMG. Someone shoot me. I possibly have no idea what other things to say besides the fact that it's amazing. My reviewing career is ending here.
Final Rating: 5/5 "Totally Amazing!"
colossal's review against another edition
3.0
Self-published books are more of a lottery than most. You never know whether you're going to be reading a [b:Fluency|22566044|Fluency (Confluence, #1)|Jennifer Foehner Wells|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1403451883s/22566044.jpg|42028608], a [b:The Martian|18007564|The Martian|Andy Weir|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1413706054s/18007564.jpg|21825181], a [b:The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet|22733729|The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet|Becky Chambers|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1405532474s/22733729.jpg|42270825] or something written by a high-school kid with a poor grasp of spelling and grammar.
This one falls somewhere in that range slightly closer to the good end than the bad. The copy-editing was competent, but the book itself needed another couple of drafts in my opinion. The plot is confused and becomes even more twisted towards the end. Many fairly major details are raised and then just left hanging (like what is Deb's sexuality?)
The basic gist of it is that faeries/trolls etc live alongside humans appearing relatively normal via glamour. There's something involving the Amish and the magic folk, but this is one of the many things that just isn't explained. The main characters are a changeling fairy and a protector troll who have a complicated and unknown intertwined family history. The bad guys are mainly trolls who are also part of the complicated family history, but are also heavily involved in organized crime. And part of that organized crime is roller derby match (bout?) fixing. Of course it is.
This one falls somewhere in that range slightly closer to the good end than the bad. The copy-editing was competent, but the book itself needed another couple of drafts in my opinion. The plot is confused and becomes even more twisted towards the end. Many fairly major details are raised and then just left hanging (like what is Deb's sexuality?)
The basic gist of it is that faeries/trolls etc live alongside humans appearing relatively normal via glamour. There's something involving the Amish and the magic folk, but this is one of the many things that just isn't explained. The main characters are a changeling fairy and a protector troll who have a complicated and unknown intertwined family history. The bad guys are mainly trolls who are also part of the complicated family history, but are also heavily involved in organized crime. And part of that organized crime is roller derby match (bout?) fixing. Of course it is.
kcarey22's review
5.0
Wow... Its been a while since books have yanked me in so far, that I almost have to pull myself back into the real world. Between [b:Lady of the Veils|13616750|Lady of the Veils|M.L. John|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1335370326s/13616750.jpg|19218707] and Troll or Derby, I've been reminded of why the very idea of Urban Fantasy, by my definition, appeals to me.
The reader is in for a unique, one of a kind trip out of the world we know and into a world filled with variations of the fairy world we all know and love. The trip Red Tash takes the reader on is fast paced and filled with action. Each switch between Deb and Harlow leaves you wanting to know more of what you'd left, before trapping you in where you're going. While different, I enjoyed the approach of switching back and forth, as the first person view gives you insight into both of these interesting characters that wouldn't be possible in any other writing style.
I picked up the book last night and started it this morning in bed. Each time I put it down was only because I had to be pulled to other things, literally forcing me to put the book down. Being out and about didn't stop me however from finishing it up when I could.
To say I enjoyed the book is putting it lightly. I truly loved this story.
The reader is in for a unique, one of a kind trip out of the world we know and into a world filled with variations of the fairy world we all know and love. The trip Red Tash takes the reader on is fast paced and filled with action. Each switch between Deb and Harlow leaves you wanting to know more of what you'd left, before trapping you in where you're going. While different, I enjoyed the approach of switching back and forth, as the first person view gives you insight into both of these interesting characters that wouldn't be possible in any other writing style.
I picked up the book last night and started it this morning in bed. Each time I put it down was only because I had to be pulled to other things, literally forcing me to put the book down. Being out and about didn't stop me however from finishing it up when I could.
To say I enjoyed the book is putting it lightly. I truly loved this story.
helensbookshelf's review
2.0
I wanted to love this book so bad but I just didn't get on with it. I found the story too far-fetched and the characters didn't grab me.
The idea is fun, a teenage girl doesn't realise she's actually a fairy until her sister is kidnapped by a troll but are too many holes in the story and too much that doesn't make sense. The plot jumps around so fast that the scenes are never filled out and allowed to come to life.
Why was Deb's sister kidnapped? And why was she left as her protector anyway? That never made sense to me. And as much as I love roller derby it felt very out of place in the story. It was put in there just because.
Deb herself I didn't find likeable. She didn't have personality over than she roller skates. And I didn't get her humour, her jokes I just found irritating.
The saving grace of the whole book is that Harlow is an absolute sweetheart. By far the best character in the book.
So generally just a bit of a mess with too much going on. Though I would read another book about Harlow in a second.
The idea is fun, a teenage girl doesn't realise she's actually a fairy until her sister is kidnapped by a troll but are too many holes in the story and too much that doesn't make sense. The plot jumps around so fast that the scenes are never filled out and allowed to come to life.
Why was Deb's sister kidnapped? And why was she left as her protector anyway? That never made sense to me. And as much as I love roller derby it felt very out of place in the story. It was put in there just because.
Deb herself I didn't find likeable. She didn't have personality over than she roller skates. And I didn't get her humour, her jokes I just found irritating.
The saving grace of the whole book is that Harlow is an absolute sweetheart. By far the best character in the book.
So generally just a bit of a mess with too much going on. Though I would read another book about Harlow in a second.
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