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ericawrites's review against another edition
3.0
If this book falters, it's because it's a little disjointed, and it was published in 2009. Bergman discusses The Whipping Girl, which had just been published, and this month, that book will have a 3rd edition to celebrate its 15 years in publication.
When Bergman's observations about gender are astoot, they are profound and sometimes very funny. I did think a lot about how Bergman and his spouse are (or were at the time) Professional Transgender People and how draining it is when your gender is your Job.
I didn't mind the profane or the reclamation of slurs used against trans and queer people. But there are moments of racism, including one stinker of an essay about different types of transgressive gender and using his Chinese friend software engineer friend as a prime example.
When Bergman's observations about gender are astoot, they are profound and sometimes very funny. I did think a lot about how Bergman and his spouse are (or were at the time) Professional Transgender People and how draining it is when your gender is your Job.
I didn't mind the profane or the reclamation of slurs used against trans and queer people. But there are moments of racism, including one stinker of an essay about different types of transgressive gender and using his Chinese friend software engineer friend as a prime example.
avisreadsandreads's review against another edition
challenging
funny
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
circlepines's review against another edition
5.0
I don't know why it took me so long to discover S. Bear Bergman; I'd been hearing about hir for years but it took me a while to catch on. This book is a great introduction to hir work; the essays in it are wry, knowing, the literary equivalents of a jocular nudge that quickly turns into a warm tight hug. Bear is a strong voice for queers and trans folk of all stripes, but also makes short work of Jewish identity, transnational relationships, and the wonders of bringing a small thing into a big queer chosen family. Not only that, but hir delight at playing with words is apparent throughout the book. Devoured it, loved it, would recommend it to anyone who already has a basic familiarity with LGBTQ issues.
genderqueer_hiker's review against another edition
2.0
(The author's current pronouns are he/him; I will use those pronouns in this review)
I've seen Bear speak on numerous occasions; we've shared space at events so I have first hand experience. I have people who are very close to me who have been treated poorly by Bear, so I also have second hand experience. It is nigh impossible to separate Bear from his writing. While he is a good writer, in the corners and shadows of his writing, his entitlement, bravado, and dismissal shine through. He often speaks from a place of assumption; perhaps I notice this because so much of his assumptions grate upon me. He made broad sweeping statements using language that was outdated at the time this book was published. He makes many statements about how all young queers want to have sex, how queers experience sexuality, holding up sex as the pinnacle of queerness. He barely acknowledges race. By the end of the book, I felt that Bear saw me as much as most straight cisgender people do: not at all. And in that, I felt excluded and unseen, a freak among freaks.
I've seen Bear speak on numerous occasions; we've shared space at events so I have first hand experience. I have people who are very close to me who have been treated poorly by Bear, so I also have second hand experience. It is nigh impossible to separate Bear from his writing. While he is a good writer, in the corners and shadows of his writing, his entitlement, bravado, and dismissal shine through. He often speaks from a place of assumption; perhaps I notice this because so much of his assumptions grate upon me. He made broad sweeping statements using language that was outdated at the time this book was published. He makes many statements about how all young queers want to have sex, how queers experience sexuality, holding up sex as the pinnacle of queerness. He barely acknowledges race. By the end of the book, I felt that Bear saw me as much as most straight cisgender people do: not at all. And in that, I felt excluded and unseen, a freak among freaks.
babyfacedoldsoul's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
3.75
acmeadows95's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
caedocyon's review against another edition
4.0
I got this for free at Pride last year (yay DC Library!!!), so it obviously should have gone on that list. Oops. Good, insightful, very original.
simlish's review against another edition
4.0
A couple essays in, I started telling everyone I knew who might possibly be interested to read this book. I absolutely loved it. I love Bear's voice, hir approach to the world, hir anger and humor and kindness. The essay that made me really lose my mind was the one where Bear's friend and Bear have a drawn out conversation via email about disclosure and relationships, which so clearly illustrates how having smart friends that push you to think deeply about things improves you (in both directions!), even when it's uncomfortable. The essay about shame made me lose my mind all over again. I kept taking breaks during my reading because I wanted to prolong it.
Really loved this book, and am very grateful that it exists for me to read.
Really loved this book, and am very grateful that it exists for me to read.
zogg's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.5