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laurensvetlik's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
niniane's review against another edition
5.0
A candid story of adoption, family, and going through emotionally hard conflicts. I learned a lot.
ecooley115's review
5.0
Loved this book
Scott and Jillian deserve a slow clap standing ovation for this story they live out. I am amazed. This should be read by every single person wanting to adopt a child. This book is relevant and worth every minute spent reading it.
Scott and Jillian deserve a slow clap standing ovation for this story they live out. I am amazed. This should be read by every single person wanting to adopt a child. This book is relevant and worth every minute spent reading it.
liralen's review against another edition
4.0
Lauren was writing [b:Some Girls|7455932|Some Girls My Life in a Harem|Jillian Lauren|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1348514670s/7455932.jpg|9504597] at the time that the events of Everything You Ever Wanted were taking place, and while normally I'm not a huge fan of memoir-meta—that is, memoirists writing about writing their memoirs—it makes a lot of sense here because, well, it's part of the story. How do you become a parent when your uterus says no? How do you not, when it's the one thing you've been desperate to do? How do you reconcile a colourful past with a new, more 'traditional' role as 'mother'? How do you balance parent and writer? And, most pressingly, what do you do when there is clearly something wrong with your child, but doctors write it off?
As much as I loved Some Girls—which was a lot, considering that I'm hanging on to my copy despite the fact that I'm moving in a month and a half and really need to downsize my book collection—it would be hard for me to make an argument that it was better than Everything You Ever Wanted. Because...Everything is a harder story, I think. It doesn't have the 'you read a book about what?' factor to carry it through if for whatever reason things lag, and it doesn't need it. It's messy and honest and hopeful.
As much as I loved Some Girls—which was a lot, considering that I'm hanging on to my copy despite the fact that I'm moving in a month and a half and really need to downsize my book collection—it would be hard for me to make an argument that it was better than Everything You Ever Wanted. Because...Everything is a harder story, I think. It doesn't have the 'you read a book about what?' factor to carry it through if for whatever reason things lag, and it doesn't need it. It's messy and honest and hopeful.
sssnoo's review against another edition
5.0
I am giving this 5 stars because I think people considering adoption or parenting adopted children of any age would benefit from reading about the author's struggles to understand the effects of trauma on early development. Here is why -
- The author is open about the struggles parents have parenting traumatized kids; about how HARD it can be. She is open about her imperfections as a parent and the trial and error it took to get it right. This is helpful to parents deep in the struggle themselves. It isnt very helpful to read books where author's make it sound simple or present themselves as superhuman - it just makes a parent struggling in the trenches of trauma-parenting feel more inadequate. So thankyou Jillian for your honesty.
- By revealing and discussing her trials and errors, and especially what eventually worked some families may eliminate some of the misssteps and detours this family had to take without such a manual. This is how advice from someone who has "been there done that" is really helpful.
- The complexity and paradoxes of adoption, and Ethiopian baby adoption in particular, are covered respectfully and well. I am also thrilled to find the family pursuing a domestic adoption at the end of the book - I expect they are no longer afraid of the "damage" our domestic foster kids are labeled with - trauma being trauma, right? Adoptive parents know what I mean.
So how do I have the chops to review this book? I went from 2 to 6 children in 2 years when I jumped into the deep end and adopted 2 sibling groups of older severly traumatized children also from Ethiopia. This was nearly 20 years ago when there was very little publish or known about trauma parenting and all I can say is I had no where to go but through the tunnel and out the other side. My kids and I survived and my kids are doing great, but it was hard hard work. I had a bit of PTSD triggered just reading this book. So if you are considering adoption read it and don't be afraid, just be prepared. Find your people and supports and do it. It may be the hardest thing you will ever do, but also the most rewarding because you have a family for all the effort.
- The author is open about the struggles parents have parenting traumatized kids; about how HARD it can be. She is open about her imperfections as a parent and the trial and error it took to get it right. This is helpful to parents deep in the struggle themselves. It isnt very helpful to read books where author's make it sound simple or present themselves as superhuman - it just makes a parent struggling in the trenches of trauma-parenting feel more inadequate. So thankyou Jillian for your honesty.
- By revealing and discussing her trials and errors, and especially what eventually worked some families may eliminate some of the misssteps and detours this family had to take without such a manual. This is how advice from someone who has "been there done that" is really helpful.
- The complexity and paradoxes of adoption, and Ethiopian baby adoption in particular, are covered respectfully and well. I am also thrilled to find the family pursuing a domestic adoption at the end of the book - I expect they are no longer afraid of the "damage" our domestic foster kids are labeled with - trauma being trauma, right? Adoptive parents know what I mean.
So how do I have the chops to review this book? I went from 2 to 6 children in 2 years when I jumped into the deep end and adopted 2 sibling groups of older severly traumatized children also from Ethiopia. This was nearly 20 years ago when there was very little publish or known about trauma parenting and all I can say is I had no where to go but through the tunnel and out the other side. My kids and I survived and my kids are doing great, but it was hard hard work. I had a bit of PTSD triggered just reading this book. So if you are considering adoption read it and don't be afraid, just be prepared. Find your people and supports and do it. It may be the hardest thing you will ever do, but also the most rewarding because you have a family for all the effort.
triciatea's review against another edition
4.0
Jillian Lauren gives a vulnerable, raw look at her adoption of an Ethiopian child. The parts that resonated the most with me were the beginning and end - the difficulties she had conceiving, the emotionality of that, and later on, when she finally "got what she wanted," which on some level was the ability to provide what her child needed. There were some chapters in the middle about all the various challenges and stigmas she faced after she and her husband brought their kid home that felt redundant. But I supposed they were a necessary to show how many tactics and ways they tried to cope with the situation they were in.
jamlefevre's review against another edition
5.0
I may be a bit biased, having met both the author and T, but I enjoyed this book as a 20-something-millennial with no kids and feeling a bit lost in life. Jillian’s honesty is refreshing; it’s a compelling story of strength, persistence, and love above all else.