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Reviews
Why Do I Love These People?: Understanding, Surviving, and Creating Your Own Family by Po Bronson
worldlibraries's review against another edition
4.0
I admire the outstanding premise of this book: how do families adapt and change and most importantly, thrive, after big challenges like divorce, loss of a child, and immigration to a new country when parent and child end up with such different points-of-view?
Mr. Bronson tells the story of nineteen different families from different countries (all having ended up in the West or are living in the West). Each family has faced a different challenge. For example, how does a Northern Ireland couple of differing religions raise children in a setting that demands everyone pick a side? Or how does an Indian woman coming out of an arranged marriage thrive as a single mother? How does a grocery store cashier learn to process the unexplained death of his son when he's not the kind of guy "who uses process and grief in the same sentence?"
These are such terrific questions of inquiry, aren't they? I think this book would be an outstanding choice for a family book discussion because there are so many different points-of-view to discuss.
One of the strengths of the book is that the author included facts about families over time and around the world that make you realize, for all of the headlines saying families are falling apart, it actually is way better than it used to be. An example is that the number of children living in step-families was actually much higher in colonial times. In the 1800s, there were so many orphaned kids, society handled it by sticking them in factories - as child laborers.
"The biggest change to the family in the last two hundred years is the gradual recognition that everyone in a family has rights, not just the father. Most of the changes we are seeing stem from this indispensable and fundamental enlightenment. Going backward is no answer."
Po Bronson believes the 21st century is "going to test families and throw them headfirst" into problems that must be dealt with to thrive. The people in the stories are "tested in punishing ways" and become "models for a quality - resilience - that every relationship can benefit from, no matter what kind of family it is."
Mr. Bronson tells the story of nineteen different families from different countries (all having ended up in the West or are living in the West). Each family has faced a different challenge. For example, how does a Northern Ireland couple of differing religions raise children in a setting that demands everyone pick a side? Or how does an Indian woman coming out of an arranged marriage thrive as a single mother? How does a grocery store cashier learn to process the unexplained death of his son when he's not the kind of guy "who uses process and grief in the same sentence?"
These are such terrific questions of inquiry, aren't they? I think this book would be an outstanding choice for a family book discussion because there are so many different points-of-view to discuss.
One of the strengths of the book is that the author included facts about families over time and around the world that make you realize, for all of the headlines saying families are falling apart, it actually is way better than it used to be. An example is that the number of children living in step-families was actually much higher in colonial times. In the 1800s, there were so many orphaned kids, society handled it by sticking them in factories - as child laborers.
"The biggest change to the family in the last two hundred years is the gradual recognition that everyone in a family has rights, not just the father. Most of the changes we are seeing stem from this indispensable and fundamental enlightenment. Going backward is no answer."
Po Bronson believes the 21st century is "going to test families and throw them headfirst" into problems that must be dealt with to thrive. The people in the stories are "tested in punishing ways" and become "models for a quality - resilience - that every relationship can benefit from, no matter what kind of family it is."
alissabar's review against another edition
4.0
An interesting look at families from all over the world with all kinds of problems and situations and how they have made their family situation work for them. It's inspiring to see what people have gone through and what the bonds of love and family inspire them to do.
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