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3.98 AVERAGE
3.98 AVERAGE
I love the idea of this book, after all our lives are similar in ways many other peoples’ lives are not. However I found some of the book repetitive and heavy-handed. Show me, don’t tell me, about the angst about meeting biological parents. Show me the relationship with your new sister (and whatever happened to the other sister who was not mentioned very often at all?). It’s a memoir with good bones but not great execution
It is unfortunate that this is THE book on transracial adoption. We need more.
It is unfortunate that this is THE book on transracial adoption. We need more.
I consider myself a well-read, progressive and unbiased person, so when I started reading Nicole Chung's memoir about growing up as a Korean-American adoptee, I didn't think there would be much for me to learn about the experience. After all, one of my closest friends is a Korean adoptee, and my first cousin was adopted from China.
However, I was wrong.
I learned so so much about what it's like to grow up in a cross-racial, cross-cultural adoption from this narrative. I read it with my Korean-American friend, which was an amazing experience. We texted about particular parts of the memoir that resonated with her life, and there were many that did. I realized that there is so much that goes unspoken about being an adoptee, so much that is erased with the narrative that "everything was meant to be" and "you're so much happier than you would have been."
And the thing is, Chung really DOES have a good life with a loving family, but Chung's story complicates the widespread notion of selfless birth parents and even-more-selfless adoptive parents. This is not one of those flashy primetime narratives that you usually read about adoption where the adoptive parents are awful human beings or the birth parents challenge the adoptive parents rights in court; this is a story of flawed human beings making difficult decisions. It's about people trying there best and sometimes falling short, of parenting in all its good intentions, challenges, and glory.
Just four stars instead of five because sometimes the writing fell a little flat for me, but overall, I highly recommend this book, especially for anyone in close relationship with cross-cultural adoptive parents or adoptees.
However, I was wrong.
I learned so so much about what it's like to grow up in a cross-racial, cross-cultural adoption from this narrative. I read it with my Korean-American friend, which was an amazing experience. We texted about particular parts of the memoir that resonated with her life, and there were many that did. I realized that there is so much that goes unspoken about being an adoptee, so much that is erased with the narrative that "everything was meant to be" and "you're so much happier than you would have been."
And the thing is, Chung really DOES have a good life with a loving family, but Chung's story complicates the widespread notion of selfless birth parents and even-more-selfless adoptive parents. This is not one of those flashy primetime narratives that you usually read about adoption where the adoptive parents are awful human beings or the birth parents challenge the adoptive parents rights in court; this is a story of flawed human beings making difficult decisions. It's about people trying there best and sometimes falling short, of parenting in all its good intentions, challenges, and glory.
Just four stars instead of five because sometimes the writing fell a little flat for me, but overall, I highly recommend this book, especially for anyone in close relationship with cross-cultural adoptive parents or adoptees.
emotional
informative
reflective
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
This book could have been a great magazine article instead. The author has some interesting things to say about being adopted and growing up as one of the few Asians in a small town (though nothing surprising on that front). Unfortunately the book revisited the same information and emotion again and again. It was like watching a loooooong TV show intro where they recap what happened in previous episodes, but throughout the book. I wanted to like this book...
3.5 stars I enjoyed reading this memoir but am downgrading my rating because I wasn’t particularly impressed by the writing.
Halfway through, I thought to myself: It's relatable and readable, but the author comes across as being intensely dour in her thoughts and actions. It's like, lighten up a bit! Crack a joke or something... Take yourself a little less seriously!
But those were my thoughts halfway through; somehow, towards the end, humor became the last thing this story needed, because it was about the meaning of family, and being at odds with your upbringing. I do wish she'd been more forthcoming about her relationship with her adoptive parents though; it came across very simplified. All I gleaned was that her white parents raised her with love, but were unreasonably overprotective and close-mouthed about her heritage and background. And anyways, all that subtle racism enraged me. The relationship with her birth father meant so much, that brief scene encapsulated something about traditional Asian values, that hard-ingrained cultural composure—and it seems to me that because she was raised outside of that frame, she was able to reach a sort of progressiveness in her relationship with her Korean father that a normal Asian American family would never be able to broach. And that makes me so sad for the rest of us, and happy for her, that she was able to go where we never will.
But those were my thoughts halfway through; somehow, towards the end, humor became the last thing this story needed, because it was about the meaning of family, and being at odds with your upbringing. I do wish she'd been more forthcoming about her relationship with her adoptive parents though; it came across very simplified. All I gleaned was that her white parents raised her with love, but were unreasonably overprotective and close-mouthed about her heritage and background. And anyways, all that subtle racism enraged me. The relationship with her birth father meant so much, that brief scene encapsulated something about traditional Asian values, that hard-ingrained cultural composure—and it seems to me that because she was raised outside of that frame, she was able to reach a sort of progressiveness in her relationship with her Korean father that a normal Asian American family would never be able to broach. And that makes me so sad for the rest of us, and happy for her, that she was able to go where we never will.
This book is a great memoir . It talks about the author and how she was adopted by a white family she is Korean . The book reads like a fiction novel . This book got me out of reading slump.
As the daughter of an woman adopted from Japan this hit home. My mom never tried to find her family (they are presumably back in Japan), but this really made me wonder what it was like for her growing up as an Asian American in the 60s in a white family. I really appreciated this book and it has led me to think of a lot of questions I want to ask my mom.
There are a few parts of Chung’s story that I would have liked more on here — her relationship with her other biological sister, what her adoptive father thought of her search before his apparent death — but I appreciate the nuance that she brings to this memoir.