Reviews

On Being Different: What It Means to Be a Homosexual by Merle Miller

thefantasticalworldofsara's review

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5.0

I'm not sure where to begin except I want to reread this again and again and again. This book is the type of book I immediately want to own so I can highlight passages and write in the margins because some of the lines are so heartbreaking and beautiful. Lines like this:

“Well, yes, I suppose. If I had been given the choice (but who is?), I would prefer to be straight. But then, would I rather not have been me? Oh, I think not, not this morning anyway.”


Some of the passages made me want to sob; how was it ever this bad? How is it still so bad for so many gay, lesbian, bi, and trans people? There is hope, I know it (and things have gotten better), but sometimes I wonder how much longer it'll be for everyone to be on equal footing.

At least there's passages like this to help me laugh in the meantime:

“And that includes the late Dr. Edmund Bergler, who claimed not only that he could ‘cure’ me but get rid of my writer’s block as well. He did neither. I am still homosexual and I have a writer’s block every morning when I sit down at the typewriter.”


All I can say is please read this book; it's not very long but it's important and well written and maybe you'll learn something.

ps. The views expressed in this review are my own and do not reflect the views of Indigo Books & Music Inc. or any of its subsidiaries. #IndigoEmployee

aselvey's review

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informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

4.25

mizzzfortune's review

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emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

4.0

anarys_b's review

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hopeful informative inspiring

4.5

aelzz93's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad tense slow-paced

3.0

uriah's review

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3.0

Felt good to finally read this, and understand its hefty importance.

re_bex_a's review

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informative reflective fast-paced

4.0

An important part of homosexual history.

theresab93's review against another edition

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4.0

🏳️‍🌈PRIDE MONTH READS🏳️‍🌈

“I'll tell you this, though. It's not true, that saying about sticks and stones; it's words that break your bones.”

A important essay that touches on a time that wasn't accepting of the LGBT and to come out into it

finnthehuman217's review

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5.0

This book is important because it reminds me that there is literature of queer people who came before us. Maybe one day we will have digitized all of the old out of print books that are a part of the collective history

jmarkwindy's review

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3.0

"But you can't know how far you've come if you don't know where you started." Dan Savage, co-creator of the It Gets Better Project, makes this remark in his foreword to Merle Miller's landmark essay "What It Means to Be a Homosexual" which originally appeared in The New York Times Magazine in 1971. For context, this piece was written two years after the incendiary Stonewall Riots, a time when the publication only printed the word gay in quotation marks. Savage's introductory statement makes the case for On Being Different serving as essential reading for queer folk who have more legal rights than they did in the 70's but still have far to go.

Miller initially wrote this essay as a rejoinder to essayist Joseph Epstein's homophobic Harper's article (published one year prior) in which he makes many degrading, shameful statements like, "If I had the power to do so, I would wish homosexuality off the face of the earth." By quoting the likes of Voltaire, Tchaikovsky, E.M. Forster, Sherwood Anderson, Alexander the Great by way of Plutarch, and more, Miller builds a crucial argument against homophobia and further exposes the failure of straight people to acknowledge and accept what psychologist George Weinberg called "variety in human existence." But while Miller's essay is gallantly on the defense, it's also pessimistic in places. This is completely understandable, especially considering he, like so many queer people throughout history, spent most of his life in the closet (he was 52 when the essay was published, and it was essentially his coming out speech).

While I completely recognize "What It Means to Be a Homosexual" to be an essay of the utmost importance, I think it's most compelling when it connects ideas from prominent writers, psychologists, and historians to an examination of efforts made by politically-charged gay groups like the Mattachine Society, the Gay Liberation Front, and the Gay Activists Alliance (although this opinion may be due to the fact that my existing knowledge of these groups is admittedly shallow, and frankly I found the information fascinating). While noble for their honesty and indisputably groundbreaking for their public portrayal of a gay experience during a moment in history when gay experiences simply weren't featured in media, Miller's personal anecdotes overshadow the real argument at times. However, Miller addresses this critique in his afterword which features a range of responses from fans, critics, and others. Note that Miller's afterword is more optimistic in tone; he acknowledges how he is "a lot more comfortable, a lot less cramped" after coming out. And in doing so, I'm sure he inspired so many others to do the same.

As a book, On Being Different is slightly malnourished—it exists for Miller's 22-page article alone, and as a whole it's only 74 pages long. While the foreword by Savage and the second afterword by journalist Charles Kaiser are inspirational in their own right, I wonder if additional accounts from others who were impacted by Miller's essay would have enriched the book's content. That being said, I agree with Savage who suggests that the essay should be read by all straight people along with members of the gay community because the movement for LGBTQIA+ equality also tells the story of "straight people being liberated from their prejudices and their fears." I'm excited to educate myself with more work honoring the LGBTQIA+ equality movement, namely Stonewall: The Riots that Sparked the Gay Revolution.