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4saradouglas's review against another edition
2.0
I Don’t Want to Be Crazy is Samantha Schutz’s true account of her college years as she dealt with her anxiety disorder. The book lets you delve into her world and experience first hand what a panic attack feels like and how terrified you can become of having another. This is an eye-opening book and is written in easy to read verse formatting.
I thought this book was well written, but it does not have enough of a plot or story to keep teens interested unless they or someone they know has an anxiety disorder. The book covers four years of Samantha’s life and is less than 300 pages long, so there are constant leaps in time which can be confusing. There are also too many friends and boys mentioned to easily keep track of. Overall it is a good book, but it has a somewhat limited audience.
I thought this book was well written, but it does not have enough of a plot or story to keep teens interested unless they or someone they know has an anxiety disorder. The book covers four years of Samantha’s life and is less than 300 pages long, so there are constant leaps in time which can be confusing. There are also too many friends and boys mentioned to easily keep track of. Overall it is a good book, but it has a somewhat limited audience.
magyklyxdelish's review against another edition
5.0
This is easily the most relatable and accurate account of someone living with anxiety and panic attacks that I’ve ever read.
She doesn’t hold back. She describes in detail what a panic attack is and feels like. She describes the thoughts racing through her mind uncontrollably, the difficulty breathing, the gut punch feeling in your stomach, the temperatures rising and falling in your body and how you quite literally feel like you are dying.
I lived with panic attacks for nearly 2 decades before I found out what they even were. For anyone going through this and wants to feel less alone, I highly recommend this book.
Perhaps more importantly, I would STRONGLY recommend this book to anyone that does not have it but loves someone who does. I could not think of a better book to help you gain insight into your loved ones mind.
5/5 ⭐️
She doesn’t hold back. She describes in detail what a panic attack is and feels like. She describes the thoughts racing through her mind uncontrollably, the difficulty breathing, the gut punch feeling in your stomach, the temperatures rising and falling in your body and how you quite literally feel like you are dying.
I lived with panic attacks for nearly 2 decades before I found out what they even were. For anyone going through this and wants to feel less alone, I highly recommend this book.
Perhaps more importantly, I would STRONGLY recommend this book to anyone that does not have it but loves someone who does. I could not think of a better book to help you gain insight into your loved ones mind.
5/5 ⭐️
george1636's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
3.75
I read as an audiobook so the apparently bad poetry didn’t bother me, I didn’t even realise it was prose until I read reviews. On the whole an okay read, quick and down to earth experiences. I don’t think I could hate on any book documenting someone’s struggles with anxiety simply because it’s so close to my heart. 🖤
brilliantsilver's review against another edition
emotional
slow-paced
0.5
This book was a big let down for me. It's a short read, I finished it in a day, even so, I found it really difficult to keep reading. There is a lot of focus put into describing pretty mundane activities, things that might have been more interesting for the author when she experienced them but as a reader are really boring. Things like: packing and unpacking for university, sitting in the cafeteria, and very plain conversations she has on campus. She dedicates a lot of time on repetitive details, like several uneventful parties where she got high then kissed someone. There was a lot of time given to pining over her ex-boyfriend and whining about boys she liked. It felt like reading a boring diary.
The mental health stuff many times felt like an afterthought. The book lingered a lot on the angsty feelings of developing adult independence, going back and forth between home and college, being 18 and wanting to stay out late, and I found that to be very average, and a little annoying at times. Maybe younger people would find that more interesting.
I wish we got to be more inside the author’s head. Many of the important conversations and events were just relayed “I told my parents that I had panic disorder and I had a therapist” but we are never IN that moment, we don’t know how her parents responded, or how it felt to confess. It’s a lot of “I told her this, we went here then we did this or that” the book lists off the events of the day but the scene just ends. The information is there but the journey is missing.
The mental health stuff many times felt like an afterthought. The book lingered a lot on the angsty feelings of developing adult independence, going back and forth between home and college, being 18 and wanting to stay out late, and I found that to be very average, and a little annoying at times. Maybe younger people would find that more interesting.
I wish we got to be more inside the author’s head. Many of the important conversations and events were just relayed “I told my parents that I had panic disorder and I had a therapist” but we are never IN that moment, we don’t know how her parents responded, or how it felt to confess. It’s a lot of “I told her this, we went here then we did this or that” the book lists off the events of the day but the scene just ends. The information is there but the journey is missing.
missbookiverse's review against another edition
4.0
I Don't Want To Be Crazy ist der erste Roman in Versform, den ich je gelesen habe (das gaukelt mir zumindest mein Gedächtnis vor). Auf Samantha Schutz bin ich durch ihre Kurzgeschichte in der [b:Push Anthology|23229|Push Anthology (This Is Push)|David Levithan|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1167393491s/23229.jpg|24214] aufmerksam geworden, auch diese war in Versform gehalten und hat mich ganz hibbelig nach mehr fordern lassen.
Der Roman (ja, das sind keine Gedichte sondern eine längere Geschichte) ist autobiografisch und handelt von Samanthas Jahren auf dem College und ihren ständigen Begleitern: Angststörungen. Diese Phobien entwickeln sich Schritt für Schritt und machen der Autorin den Alltag zunehmend schwerer, die Attacken kommen unvorbereitet, plötzlich sind schlecht beleuchtete Räume und Menschenansammlungen eine nicht zu ertragende Zumutung. An anderen Tagen hat Samantha sich wieder gut im Griff, doch die Medikamente bleiben und vermiesen ihr nicht nur Freundschaften sondern auch ihr Austauschjahr in Europa.
Durch die kurzen Zeilen liest sich das Buch sehr schnell und die Versform verhilft dem Text oft zu poetischen Höhepunkten. Mein Lieblingszitat war folgendes:
Inhaltlich bringt die Autorin die Angst und Panikattacken authentisch und emotional rüber. Man merkt dem Buch an, dass es Memoiren sind und ich habe sowohl großes Mitleid als auch viel Respekt für Samantha Schutzs Mut aufgebaut. Ebenfalls beeindruckt hat mich das Aufsuchen ständig wechselnder Therapeuten. Ich stelle es mir sehr schwer vor, jemandem von meinen Ängsten zu erzählen und das wie in Samanthas Fall immer und immer wieder vor neuen Ärzten zu wiederholen, immer wieder neue Reaktionen zu bekommen und dazu eine Diagnose, die sich so sehr vom Vorgänger unterscheidet, dass man sich um die Willkürlichkeit der Aussagen Gedanken macht.
Mehr kann ich zu diesem Werk einfach nicht sagen. Wer wissen will, wie es ist mit Angststörungen zu leben, hat hier den perfekten Erfahrungsbericht vor sich. Für Gelegenheitsleser ist es ein spannender Einblick, aber man sollte mit der richtigen Erwartung an das Buch herantreten, da es durch seine kurzgebundene Versform eine andere Art von Tiefe als durchschnittliche Roman aufweist.
Der Roman (ja, das sind keine Gedichte sondern eine längere Geschichte) ist autobiografisch und handelt von Samanthas Jahren auf dem College und ihren ständigen Begleitern: Angststörungen. Diese Phobien entwickeln sich Schritt für Schritt und machen der Autorin den Alltag zunehmend schwerer, die Attacken kommen unvorbereitet, plötzlich sind schlecht beleuchtete Räume und Menschenansammlungen eine nicht zu ertragende Zumutung. An anderen Tagen hat Samantha sich wieder gut im Griff, doch die Medikamente bleiben und vermiesen ihr nicht nur Freundschaften sondern auch ihr Austauschjahr in Europa.
Durch die kurzen Zeilen liest sich das Buch sehr schnell und die Versform verhilft dem Text oft zu poetischen Höhepunkten. Mein Lieblingszitat war folgendes:
I visit him a few times downtown
while he paints.
We talk about how he's going to Spain
for the fall semester
and he shows me a painting he did
and points to this one part,
a bridge, and tells me he thought of me
when he painted it.
It is so sad
how knowing something
so small
can make me so happy.
Inhaltlich bringt die Autorin die Angst und Panikattacken authentisch und emotional rüber. Man merkt dem Buch an, dass es Memoiren sind und ich habe sowohl großes Mitleid als auch viel Respekt für Samantha Schutzs Mut aufgebaut. Ebenfalls beeindruckt hat mich das Aufsuchen ständig wechselnder Therapeuten. Ich stelle es mir sehr schwer vor, jemandem von meinen Ängsten zu erzählen und das wie in Samanthas Fall immer und immer wieder vor neuen Ärzten zu wiederholen, immer wieder neue Reaktionen zu bekommen und dazu eine Diagnose, die sich so sehr vom Vorgänger unterscheidet, dass man sich um die Willkürlichkeit der Aussagen Gedanken macht.
Mehr kann ich zu diesem Werk einfach nicht sagen. Wer wissen will, wie es ist mit Angststörungen zu leben, hat hier den perfekten Erfahrungsbericht vor sich. Für Gelegenheitsleser ist es ein spannender Einblick, aber man sollte mit der richtigen Erwartung an das Buch herantreten, da es durch seine kurzgebundene Versform eine andere Art von Tiefe als durchschnittliche Roman aufweist.
sidnarwhal's review against another edition
2.0
This book had no plot. There was no crucial climax; the situations were poorly linked chronologically, the ending was abrupt and unfullfilling and the writing was repetitive as well as monotonous. The feelings of anxiety were poorly relayed. However, the humanization of the character was effective and emotive.
justlily's review against another edition
I have outgrown my like of or tolerance for books written like this. Typing
"I had
Pizza for lunch
it was a little
cold
like my heart"
DOESNT MAKE SOMETHING POETRY. Fucks sake. DNF @ Chapter 3
"I had
Pizza for lunch
it was a little
cold
like my heart"
DOESNT MAKE SOMETHING POETRY. Fucks sake. DNF @ Chapter 3
rionasreadingroom's review
adventurous
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
kice7788's review against another edition
4.0
I read this book in about 3 hours all together and I really liked it! It hit me very personally seeing as how I have dealt with this myself but it was great! The reason I only gave it four stars instead of five is because it was a little jumpy. But I really liked how it was written and how she described how she was feeling. It is a quick read but a really good one! If you would like me to get a little more into detail then comment and I will do a youtube video about it.
katscribefever's review against another edition
3.0
Schutz shares her personal history of a promising young woman whose world implodes when she begins suffering a psychological disorder. Every mental health story is different and the world needs all of them we can get. This verse memoir is honest and doesn't water down the ugly bits of her past but still maintains hope for her future.