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angelamichelle's review against another edition
2.0
This memoir is about the author's gradual discovery that she has a disorder that prevents her from recognizing faces. (She can recognize gait, hair, jewelry, ears, and other distinguishing features--just not faces.) The disorder is discombobulating for her, and for the reader, as she describes it in tandem with her bogglingly dysfunctional childhood. I kept wishing I could have been there to pull her childhood self aside and say, "Oh honey, this is *not* okay; you need help!"
moodyjulia's review against another edition
3.0
A compelling subject matter but something in the writing didn't quite add up for me and I lost interest about halfway through.
jojo_27's review against another edition
4.0
I don't even know where to begin. I feel like I'd have to read this book three more times to even start understanding all that it contains. Mental illness, relationships, science, love, overcoming childhood-- these are just a few of the main topics covered by Heather Sellers in this incredibly rich and often disturbing memoir.
I'd heard of prosopagnosia (face blindness) before; a college roommate as well as another friend had both (suffered from? dealt with?) it, and I was familiar enough with it that I was surprised to read about what a difficult time she had recognizing it and then convincing others that she had it once she figured it out. I was also fascinated by the generous amount of detail and research she supplied; it was so interesting to learn about it from someone who could explain it in layman's terms as well as who could offer a personal perspective.
She also talks (almost always) heartbreakingly about her relationships with others, namely her parents and her fiancé, and how her prosopagnosia both affected and was related to the difficulties in those relationships. I was also surprised at how difficult it was for her to tell others about her condition, and how many of her peers felt the same way. It had a much greater effect on their personal lives than I might have guessed. It also gave me insight in dealing with my friends who deal with this, and also makes me wonder how many others I know who might have it-- I hope that they would be open about it so that we (their friends) could learn how to most appropriately help them in potentially difficult situations.
I'd definitely recommend this book, but it's not an easy read. The emotions are heavy, and there is no shortage of difficult moments. She mentions in the epilogue that she had originally written a book of memoirs, but her editor told her that no one would ever believe that anyone could survive that childhood-- it's tough for me, to be honest, as someone who came from a loving family, to believe what she writes. I mean, I do. But it's hard to think of a kid going through what she did.
I'd heard of prosopagnosia (face blindness) before; a college roommate as well as another friend had both (suffered from? dealt with?) it, and I was familiar enough with it that I was surprised to read about what a difficult time she had recognizing it and then convincing others that she had it once she figured it out. I was also fascinated by the generous amount of detail and research she supplied; it was so interesting to learn about it from someone who could explain it in layman's terms as well as who could offer a personal perspective.
She also talks (almost always) heartbreakingly about her relationships with others, namely her parents and her fiancé, and how her prosopagnosia both affected and was related to the difficulties in those relationships. I was also surprised at how difficult it was for her to tell others about her condition, and how many of her peers felt the same way. It had a much greater effect on their personal lives than I might have guessed. It also gave me insight in dealing with my friends who deal with this, and also makes me wonder how many others I know who might have it-- I hope that they would be open about it so that we (their friends) could learn how to most appropriately help them in potentially difficult situations.
I'd definitely recommend this book, but it's not an easy read. The emotions are heavy, and there is no shortage of difficult moments. She mentions in the epilogue that she had originally written a book of memoirs, but her editor told her that no one would ever believe that anyone could survive that childhood-- it's tough for me, to be honest, as someone who came from a loving family, to believe what she writes. I mean, I do. But it's hard to think of a kid going through what she did.
tigerknitting's review against another edition
3.0
Everyone forgets people's names on occasion, sometimes we don't recognize people we've only met once or twice or after many years. What would it be like to never recognize anyone? To go through life walking by your father in a restaurant, running up to a complete stranger in an airport thinking it was your boyfriend, thinking your stepsons were malicious teens? That is the life that Heather Sellers describes in her book You don't look like anyone I know. Heather has the rare disorder of face blindness, or Prosopagnosia.
In her book, Heather describes a family that an outsider would consider highly dysfunctional, but for a child who knows no other way it was normal for her. She really didn't fully grasp how dysfunctional her childhood was until she went to her high school reunion. Her boyfriend and his children accompanied her back to her home town which gave her the opportunity to see her parents from the outside. Her eyes were opened to their strangeness. At the reunion she realized that she didn't know anyone there, but they all knew her. Her old boyfriend asked about her mother and asked if she was a paranoid schizophrenic. Heather had not thought about her mother in those terms, but started to put things together. She researched schizophrenia and realized that her mother had many of the symptoms. While doing the research she came across the term face blindness and a lightbulb went off. She researched that as well and realized that she suffered from it.
Heather's account is fascinating, not just in how she coped with face blindness, but the reactions of the people she told.
On a local note, Heather is a professor of literature at Hope College.
In her book, Heather describes a family that an outsider would consider highly dysfunctional, but for a child who knows no other way it was normal for her. She really didn't fully grasp how dysfunctional her childhood was until she went to her high school reunion. Her boyfriend and his children accompanied her back to her home town which gave her the opportunity to see her parents from the outside. Her eyes were opened to their strangeness. At the reunion she realized that she didn't know anyone there, but they all knew her. Her old boyfriend asked about her mother and asked if she was a paranoid schizophrenic. Heather had not thought about her mother in those terms, but started to put things together. She researched schizophrenia and realized that her mother had many of the symptoms. While doing the research she came across the term face blindness and a lightbulb went off. She researched that as well and realized that she suffered from it.
Heather's account is fascinating, not just in how she coped with face blindness, but the reactions of the people she told.
On a local note, Heather is a professor of literature at Hope College.
janetll's review against another edition
4.0
I liked this book very much, and it certainly imparted a lot of information about a strange and unusual condition. In the afterward, the author says that she's barely included her brother in the book. That's fine, but she should have said so at the beginning. I kept wondering where the brother was, and it kind of bothered me throughout. Otherwise, an entertaining and informative book.
jennilynft's review against another edition
4.0
very interesting, account of one woman's neurological disorder- and how this disorder and her upbringing impacted her life and how she views herself.
michellewords's review against another edition
3.0
This is such a strange book. It's part memoir, science textbook, and therapy. I don't feel qualified to review this book in any way, but here I am.
A lot of the book revolves around Heather's relationships with her untreated paranoid schizophrenic mother and alcoholic cross dressing father. Later this includes her blended family. All these people in her life see her differences and she is convinced she is mentally ill and discovers face blindness.
I feel like I can't process the memoir part of this book. She was raised in such a strange world that I can't imagine as real, but it was.
The stories and experiences felt a little too jumbled for me to appreciate her message of love and acceptance. I can't tell if she wishes she was more normal or more individual. I still don't know.
It's an ok book about a person I don't know, can't relate too, or understand. So it's hard to feel immersed in her book or capture what the messages are.
I don't know what else to say. Maybe read it? Maybe don't? I don't know. 🤷
A lot of the book revolves around Heather's relationships with her untreated paranoid schizophrenic mother and alcoholic cross dressing father. Later this includes her blended family. All these people in her life see her differences and she is convinced she is mentally ill and discovers face blindness.
I feel like I can't process the memoir part of this book. She was raised in such a strange world that I can't imagine as real, but it was.
The stories and experiences felt a little too jumbled for me to appreciate her message of love and acceptance. I can't tell if she wishes she was more normal or more individual. I still don't know.
It's an ok book about a person I don't know, can't relate too, or understand. So it's hard to feel immersed in her book or capture what the messages are.
I don't know what else to say. Maybe read it? Maybe don't? I don't know. 🤷
spauffwrites's review against another edition
3.0
I read recently that you should only write a memoir if you have a unique story worth telling. Heather Sellers' story is definitely worth telling. This was a very interesting and well-written book about a subject few people know about. I especially liked the passages where Sellers described how her face-blindness influenced her writing.
rmmcdowell's review against another edition
4.0
In Sellers's memoir, she recounts her childhood (living with a mother she later determined was paranoid schizophrenic and chasing after her mostly-absentee father who was a cross-dressing alcoholic) while intermittently describing her self discovery of her own prosopagnosia. Late in the book, in the Afterward, in fact, Sellers writes that when she had shared stories of her childhood in the past, professional writers had told her that it was "unbelievable" and "unsurvivable." There are moments that surely feel that way.
In truth, because most of us suffer from the inability to remember names of our acquaintances, it's easy to feel that her chapters on prosopagnosia--or face blindness--are just as unbelievable. I appreciated the mix of anecdotal information (such as the golden retriever test--you may have had your dog for years, but if we put pictures of his face in a line up of 20 other golden retrievers, could you pick yours out?) along with scientific information about how the brain recognizes faces and identifies them and their characteristics.
Sellers is a professor of English at a local college. She is a good writer, and I think the book is well organized. I appreciated her transitions between her (truly unbelievable!) childhood and its impacts on her realizations about who she is as an adult and her willingness to believe the truth about her condition. Childhood is a confusing time and, even under normal conditions, our recollections about it color so much about our adulthoods. When a brain disorder factors into that, it becomes even more difficult to see the truth and grow in that truth. There are more things to ask forgiveness for and to offer forgiveness for. But, at the end of the day, the forgiveness is worth it.
While You Don't Look Like Anyone I Know is a fascinating story about Heather Sellers's reality, it is also an important lesson for all of us. It's a reminder to extend grace, because you never know what burdens others are carrying. It's a reminder to give others permission to be real, even when their authenticity is scary or painful. It's also a reminder to believe in each other, even when the truth seems unbelievable.
Someone once asked me, after hearing me talk about my relationship with my grandmother, "Why do you even love her?"
I remember looking at that person like she was crazy and saying, "Because she's my grandma."
I thought about that a lot while reading this book. And I was glad to hear Sellers say that at the end of the day, while laying out her story and recalling her childhood and her journey into accepting her face blindness, she could see that throughout her life there had been love. There had been love for her mother and her father and love from them for her. She concludes: "I'd set out to write a book about how we learn to trust our own experience in the face of confusion, doubt, and anxiety. What I ended up with is the story of how we love each other in spite of immense limitations." (p354) Amen. Sellers reminded me of that as well.
In truth, because most of us suffer from the inability to remember names of our acquaintances, it's easy to feel that her chapters on prosopagnosia--or face blindness--are just as unbelievable. I appreciated the mix of anecdotal information (such as the golden retriever test--you may have had your dog for years, but if we put pictures of his face in a line up of 20 other golden retrievers, could you pick yours out?) along with scientific information about how the brain recognizes faces and identifies them and their characteristics.
Sellers is a professor of English at a local college. She is a good writer, and I think the book is well organized. I appreciated her transitions between her (truly unbelievable!) childhood and its impacts on her realizations about who she is as an adult and her willingness to believe the truth about her condition. Childhood is a confusing time and, even under normal conditions, our recollections about it color so much about our adulthoods. When a brain disorder factors into that, it becomes even more difficult to see the truth and grow in that truth. There are more things to ask forgiveness for and to offer forgiveness for. But, at the end of the day, the forgiveness is worth it.
While You Don't Look Like Anyone I Know is a fascinating story about Heather Sellers's reality, it is also an important lesson for all of us. It's a reminder to extend grace, because you never know what burdens others are carrying. It's a reminder to give others permission to be real, even when their authenticity is scary or painful. It's also a reminder to believe in each other, even when the truth seems unbelievable.
Someone once asked me, after hearing me talk about my relationship with my grandmother, "Why do you even love her?"
I remember looking at that person like she was crazy and saying, "Because she's my grandma."
I thought about that a lot while reading this book. And I was glad to hear Sellers say that at the end of the day, while laying out her story and recalling her childhood and her journey into accepting her face blindness, she could see that throughout her life there had been love. There had been love for her mother and her father and love from them for her. She concludes: "I'd set out to write a book about how we learn to trust our own experience in the face of confusion, doubt, and anxiety. What I ended up with is the story of how we love each other in spite of immense limitations." (p354) Amen. Sellers reminded me of that as well.
momreaderh's review against another edition
4.0
If you like memoirs, you will like this book. The author is an engaging writer. Heads up that there are a few references to sex that I could have done without; nothing graphic though.