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26 reviews for:
Choice: True Stories of Birth, Contraception, Infertility, Adoption, Single Parenthood, and Abortion
Karen E. Bender
4.15 AVERAGE
26 reviews for:
Choice: True Stories of Birth, Contraception, Infertility, Adoption, Single Parenthood, and Abortion
Karen E. Bender
4.15 AVERAGE
Every essay in this collection was excellent - well written and thoughtful. Highly recommended for anyone with any stance on reproductive choices.
A good read, covering a whole range of emotions and circumstances regarding pregnancy.
This is one of the most affecting and powerful books I have read in a while. It is a collection of essays on women's reproductive choices. The honesty in these stories is amazing, and I really couldn't put this book down. I don't often come across a collection of essays that can be called a page-turner, but this book was.
Going into this book I wondered if there would be huge, inflammatory stories like we see in the news and at political rallies but I'm happy to say I thought these were well written stories about different women's truths. Each life follows a different path and it was interesting to read how/why/when people made decisions regarding the decision...their CHOICE...about a pregnancy.
the essays in this book are amazing! it should be required reading for every voter in america!
I read this for the newly created Planned Parenthood book club and, honestly, I was expecting a rather generic overview of issues in reproduction, sort of an introductory look. But although a few of the essays read like they could appear in Good Housekeeping magazine, overall I was moved and, in many cases, educated by women's stories of abortion, adoption, infertility, and making choices about if and when to have children.
For most of my life, I have been scared of pregnancy. Let me be clear. This was not a remote, passing worry, but a fear that I can only describe as borderline phobic. I was raised by an incredibly strong and loving single mother who engrained in me the idea that education, stability, and personal wellbeing were paramount to everything else. Having children was something to be considered only later in life when all other accomplishments had been achieved and my loving, committed (preferably male) partner and I had decided that we had nothing left to do but start a family. This, combined with a pretty traumatic adolescent relationship that left me feeling utterly disconnected from my body, prompted an obsessive, militaristic monitoring of my birth control.
As I’ve grown, though, and experienced both the chaos and beauty of life, I’ve developed an odd sense of calmness when I think about the possibility of pregnancy. The calmness even persists (shockingly enough) when I think about the possibility of unplanned pregnancy. Part of this stems from normal human development; the fact that my body and mind have become my own again and that, simply by the passing of time, I am infinitely more prepared to have children now than I was 10 years ago.
The other (and more important) component of my calmness stems from the simple fact that I have options available to me. I am privileged in that I live in a society (at least for the time being) that gives me control over decisions made about my body. Thank goodness, hallelujah, I have choices.
If I get sick when I’m pregnant and my health is in jeopardy, I can choose to save myself. If I am not in a committed relationship but feel ready and willing to adopt the stigmatized life of a single parent, I can unapologetically choose to carry and birth my child. And if I feel that it’s not the right time; that my education, my stability, and my own personal wellbeing would be threatened should I accept the enormous responsibility of a child, I can choose to wait. Not lightly or callously, but that is a choice I can make for myself.
This book contains the powerful stories of women who have made choices. They’ve made choices that are joyous and celebratory; they’ve made choices that are devastating, controversial, and fundamentally necessary. Some are haunted, others are relieved. But, however different the stories may be, there is one true cause for celebration that runs through them all: ultimately, the choice is theirs to make.
Human existence is complex and a thousand shades of grey. There is no conceivable way to develop one-size-fits-all legislation about our bodies, despite the best efforts of a particularly vocal group of overzealous policymakers and “pro-life” supporters. Women have the right to decide for themselves how, when, and if they create life. And whether they choose life, the postponement of life, or no life at all, we must vigilantly preserve their right to choose for themselves.
Props to the brave editors and essayists who compiled this beautiful bible of choice.
As I’ve grown, though, and experienced both the chaos and beauty of life, I’ve developed an odd sense of calmness when I think about the possibility of pregnancy. The calmness even persists (shockingly enough) when I think about the possibility of unplanned pregnancy. Part of this stems from normal human development; the fact that my body and mind have become my own again and that, simply by the passing of time, I am infinitely more prepared to have children now than I was 10 years ago.
The other (and more important) component of my calmness stems from the simple fact that I have options available to me. I am privileged in that I live in a society (at least for the time being) that gives me control over decisions made about my body. Thank goodness, hallelujah, I have choices.
If I get sick when I’m pregnant and my health is in jeopardy, I can choose to save myself. If I am not in a committed relationship but feel ready and willing to adopt the stigmatized life of a single parent, I can unapologetically choose to carry and birth my child. And if I feel that it’s not the right time; that my education, my stability, and my own personal wellbeing would be threatened should I accept the enormous responsibility of a child, I can choose to wait. Not lightly or callously, but that is a choice I can make for myself.
This book contains the powerful stories of women who have made choices. They’ve made choices that are joyous and celebratory; they’ve made choices that are devastating, controversial, and fundamentally necessary. Some are haunted, others are relieved. But, however different the stories may be, there is one true cause for celebration that runs through them all: ultimately, the choice is theirs to make.
Human existence is complex and a thousand shades of grey. There is no conceivable way to develop one-size-fits-all legislation about our bodies, despite the best efforts of a particularly vocal group of overzealous policymakers and “pro-life” supporters. Women have the right to decide for themselves how, when, and if they create life. And whether they choose life, the postponement of life, or no life at all, we must vigilantly preserve their right to choose for themselves.
Props to the brave editors and essayists who compiled this beautiful bible of choice.
I liked it. Although I wished the was a all ages reading level version of it or broken up into a series, this would likely be too lengthy for a high schooler and some young adults that is the audience this book could best benefit. Good reference for a reproductive studies or criminal justice major.
Suddenly I am reminded of how much I love to read memoir and personal narrative writing! While very emotional, I enjoy it.
Like the title suggests, there is a huge range of stories in this compilation. The first story starts with surrogacy, which even after considering the range of experience this book might cover, I hadn't expected to find- which was naive of me.
The stories that pulled most at me were the ones without choice: the stories of 16 year olds who got pregnant in the 60s and were never told of any option besides handing their children over to a family they would never meet, the stories of pregnancies ending at 5 months in order for the mother to live. The lack of choice there was heartbreaking. The women whose stories full of choice, whether they chose to continue or end their pregnancies, whether the abortion was effective or failed, whether adoption was really the "best" option, were far more empowering in comparison.
I guess that's why I agree with de Gramont's sentiment on page 320, "The truth is, my new reverence for the process of incubating human life had not undermined my pro-choice beliefs. It had solidified them." The amount of change I have experienced in the past 5 year of my life as a woman and as a mother has given me a new allowance and appreciation for the depth of human experience. "How much easier it is to tell people what to do, how to behave, when you refuse to see them as complicated. How hard it is, to see each person's emotional life as individual and precise, to understand that you cannot understand the whole of another person's burdens" (Bender, 332-333).
So yes, I enjoyed this book, despite the tears.
Like the title suggests, there is a huge range of stories in this compilation. The first story starts with surrogacy, which even after considering the range of experience this book might cover, I hadn't expected to find- which was naive of me.
The stories that pulled most at me were the ones without choice: the stories of 16 year olds who got pregnant in the 60s and were never told of any option besides handing their children over to a family they would never meet, the stories of pregnancies ending at 5 months in order for the mother to live. The lack of choice there was heartbreaking. The women whose stories full of choice, whether they chose to continue or end their pregnancies, whether the abortion was effective or failed, whether adoption was really the "best" option, were far more empowering in comparison.
I guess that's why I agree with de Gramont's sentiment on page 320, "The truth is, my new reverence for the process of incubating human life had not undermined my pro-choice beliefs. It had solidified them." The amount of change I have experienced in the past 5 year of my life as a woman and as a mother has given me a new allowance and appreciation for the depth of human experience. "How much easier it is to tell people what to do, how to behave, when you refuse to see them as complicated. How hard it is, to see each person's emotional life as individual and precise, to understand that you cannot understand the whole of another person's burdens" (Bender, 332-333).
So yes, I enjoyed this book, despite the tears.
Very diverse collection of extremely personal stories. Some were funny, some were sad, and some were difficult to read... I really enjoyed this book.