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ladyofthelake68's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
dunnadam's review against another edition
3.0
Reading reviews of this book online, I find few reviews by men. I think it’s difficult for gay men to accept female sexuality, at least it is for me. I am not a woman, I am not attracted to women, and the idea of female sexuality is one I’d rather not explore. Not to say I’m against it, not in the least. I am a staunch feminist, through and through. It’s just difficult for me.
Some other things difficult for me include religion, S & M, and the concept of people not putting labels on themselves. I was able to be happy being a gay man when I was able to fully accept the label, to be the label, to wear it and live it. So the idea of rejecting labels is not something I’m familiar with.
There’s many things though I’m not familiar with in this warm and open memoir by Kate Bornstein. I wanted to read this as I heard it was good and I want to know more about transgendered people. I don’t feel its enough to be supportive of the trans community, I feel you need to learn a bit about them and try going for a walk in their shoes.
Kate is so DIFFERENT from me, with her tattoos and cutting and religion and everything, the book was always interesting. I felt it got a bit too much into the Scientology in parts, but I was able to get though it. What I wasn’t able to get through was the sex, the cutting, the S & M, the blood, I couldn’t take it. What was nice is that in the ebook version Kate included a link so you could skip over the worst of it, which I happily did without a glance back. Still, I really could have skipped more. I realize you can’t write a memoir without talking about what you do in the bedroom, but I honestly didn’t need to know. I may have nightmares.
All this being said, the book was enjoyable, Kate writes well and you can tell it’s from the heart. I was glad to read a person’s experience that’s so different from mine, but I feel like parts were read looking between my fingers out of fear, which kept me a little detached.
Some other things difficult for me include religion, S & M, and the concept of people not putting labels on themselves. I was able to be happy being a gay man when I was able to fully accept the label, to be the label, to wear it and live it. So the idea of rejecting labels is not something I’m familiar with.
There’s many things though I’m not familiar with in this warm and open memoir by Kate Bornstein. I wanted to read this as I heard it was good and I want to know more about transgendered people. I don’t feel its enough to be supportive of the trans community, I feel you need to learn a bit about them and try going for a walk in their shoes.
Kate is so DIFFERENT from me, with her tattoos and cutting and religion and everything, the book was always interesting. I felt it got a bit too much into the Scientology in parts, but I was able to get though it. What I wasn’t able to get through was the sex, the cutting, the S & M, the blood, I couldn’t take it. What was nice is that in the ebook version Kate included a link so you could skip over the worst of it, which I happily did without a glance back. Still, I really could have skipped more. I realize you can’t write a memoir without talking about what you do in the bedroom, but I honestly didn’t need to know. I may have nightmares.
All this being said, the book was enjoyable, Kate writes well and you can tell it’s from the heart. I was glad to read a person’s experience that’s so different from mine, but I feel like parts were read looking between my fingers out of fear, which kept me a little detached.
emilyberrios's review
challenging
funny
medium-paced
3.0
I do not regret reading this book, but I will admit it was a challenge. While the perspective was refreshing and outside what I expected, the author defines themselves as a deviant, I had trouble relating to it and following the narrative. Kate Borenstein has a non linear, non-sequitur-full, meandering writing style which seems self-indulgent. While I understand autobiographies by and large are self indulgent, enabling the author to tell their own story as they see fit, Kate claimed this book was a "reaching out" to her estranged daughter and grandchildren. The book had a purpose beyond self indulgence, but other than short moments toward the end... this was a book about how Kate wants to be a pretty girl, talk about sex, and fall in love.
While I feel Kate is fascinating, I feel she painted herself as this intensely one-dimensional vapid individual. She's a trans woman who loves women, but only loves women she'd like to be. The women she'd like to be are profoundly objectified totems of what the misogynistic media claims women should strive to be. Even interviews I looked up showed Kate claiming she wants to be "girl". I feel this is very different from wanting to be a woman.
Even while describing her experiences in Scientology, which were fascinating, there was always this undercurrent of one-dimensionality. I wanted to get to know Kate better. I wanted her child and grandchildren to get to know her better. But in this very focused line of storytelling, these limited facets of herself that Kate chose to share, there was very little common ground.
While I feel Kate is fascinating, I feel she painted herself as this intensely one-dimensional vapid individual. She's a trans woman who loves women, but only loves women she'd like to be. The women she'd like to be are profoundly objectified totems of what the misogynistic media claims women should strive to be. Even interviews I looked up showed Kate claiming she wants to be "girl". I feel this is very different from wanting to be a woman.
Even while describing her experiences in Scientology, which were fascinating, there was always this undercurrent of one-dimensionality. I wanted to get to know Kate better. I wanted her child and grandchildren to get to know her better. But in this very focused line of storytelling, these limited facets of herself that Kate chose to share, there was very little common ground.
jenny_bean_reads's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
At this point, I don't know what else can be said about Kate Bornstein's work. She is insightful, eloquent, and clear. Read this book. A well-written, concise look at the challenges of transition, especially in the world as it was in the 70s and 80s. Adding in her experience with Scientology, I am just blown away by her experiences in life. A must read for everyone to put themselves in a viewpoint they have no experience with.
eap5790's review
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dysphoria, Religious bigotry, Deadnaming, Eating disorder, Blood, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Dysphoria, Self harm, and Mental illness
chischobes's review
4.5
really wonderful and life-affirming. what an extraordinary life.
notes to self:
1. read up on scientology - wtf is going on there?
2. "Never fuck anyone you wouldn't want to be." something to think about
3. just... enjoy life and don't worry too much. "For all the traveling I've done, I found that all rounds to life lead nowhere." when making "big decisions", think of that
4. sex and gender and sexuality are weird, just... do whaterver and don't be mean.
notes to self:
1. read up on scientology - wtf is going on there?
2. "Never fuck anyone you wouldn't want to be." something to think about
3. just... enjoy life and don't worry too much. "For all the traveling I've done, I found that all rounds to life lead nowhere." when making "big decisions", think of that
4. sex and gender and sexuality are weird, just... do whaterver and don't be mean.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Self harm, Sexual content, and Suicidal thoughts
justlily's review against another edition
4.0
I really, really need to make more of a point to read things like this. Life stories of people who are different than me and also different from what I usually read. So much fiction (my main wheelhouse) is heterosexual romance that eventually I start thinking I'm weird, like I spent the first 20 years of my life. And then I read something like this and I realize that one of two things is true. Either I'm not weird because I'm not heterosexual OR...everyone on earth is fucking weird so what difference does it make?
This story is amazing and it's sad and it's outlandish and it's hilarious and it's a whole lot of other things. It certainly makes you think and maybe makes you understand things in a way you didn't before, at least it did for me. I'm glad I read it. I don't think it's a common enough occurrence for me to walk away from a book genuinely feeling like I learned something or that I've been changed in some way, and this did that for me.
This story is amazing and it's sad and it's outlandish and it's hilarious and it's a whole lot of other things. It certainly makes you think and maybe makes you understand things in a way you didn't before, at least it did for me. I'm glad I read it. I don't think it's a common enough occurrence for me to walk away from a book genuinely feeling like I learned something or that I've been changed in some way, and this did that for me.