Reviews tagging 'Gaslighting'

The List by Yomi Adegoke

19 reviews

catofbones's review against another edition

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Self harm, and Gaslighting

aseel_reads's review

challenging dark reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Not sure how I felt about this one. From the get go, you know it's going to be hard for the author to write a complete story, which way to go, will it be a cliche etc. I felt that the author did a good job of showing the grey and the middle ground reaction and action of the characters. The last chapter was such a random plot twist, not sure how I felt about it 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Sexism, Homophobia, Alcohol, Drug abuse, Drug use, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Rape, Sexual harassment, Misogyny, and Alcoholism

Minor: Gaslighting, Bullying, Panic attacks/disorders, Infidelity, Racism, Mental illness, Stalking, Hate crime, Toxic relationship, and Vomit

ashcanpete's review

emotional reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Racial slurs, Racism, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Rape, Suicidal thoughts, Alcohol, Cursing, Gaslighting, Sexism, Car accident, Mental illness, Suicide, Domestic abuse, Infidelity, Misogyny, Toxic friendship, Violence, Sexual harassment, and Suicide attempt

sarahjanecw's review

challenging dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Suicide, Self harm, Mental illness, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Racial slurs, Medical trauma, Infidelity, Rape, and Sexual harassment

Minor: Death of parent

miaaa_lenaaa's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

An interesting concept with 3d characters, i do think that the q+a section with the authors and one of the narrators was very good and added a lot of context to the writing

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Physical abuse, Suicide, Homophobia, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Bullying, Medical content, Domestic abuse, Gaslighting, Sexual violence, Panic attacks/disorders, Alcohol, Death, Misogyny, Outing, Pedophilia, Racism, Rape, and Sexual harassment

bpretzer's review against another edition

challenging dark reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting

Moderate: Suicide, Suicide attempt, Suicidal thoughts, and Infidelity

thereadingscorpios's review against another edition

4.0

 this book was both devastating and powerful. it kept me on the edge of my seat and made me want to flip my desk.

adegoke writes about such heavy topics and it’s so so important that she does. not only is this book about the life of a woman whose fiancé is accused of assault and more, but also about said fiancé dealing with these accusations while also lying to his fiancée. they both live in a world where their entire lives are more or less constantly followed on social media.

i really appreciated the fact that adegoke gave both ola and michael a POV, since it gave such nuance to the story. the stress of a wedding was already on their minds. but this? it changes everything.

i don’t want to give too many spoilers, but wow, michael’s friends made me furious. i hate every single one of them. their text messages were filled with misogyny and it felt so real. it hurt and i could honestly see it happening.

the world of media can be such a toxic and awful place, and i’m so grateful to myself that i picked this audiobook up. if you think you can stomach it, it definitely is a must-read, especially now during women’s history month.

the only reason i didn’t give it a full five stars was because the ending left me feeling a bit unsatisfied. i would’ve loved seeing more of those characters we only met at the end. how did they, really, end up in that situation?

as a debut novel, this was a fantastic book. i can’t wait to see what yomi adegoke does next. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Infidelity, Suicide, Gaslighting, Misogyny, Homophobia, Sexual assault, Rape, and Addiction

klb77's review

dark tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

0.5

Genuinely fuck this. You can write about evil and morally bad characters without making them all severely insufferable. I wasn’t rooting for anyone or any thing other than the percentage bar to continue creeping further towards 100%. The cultural pieces were touched on and then fully abandoned instead of properly delved into and considered- do the characters even care about their own ethnicities? Or are they just using them for instagram followers… Does the author even care about their ethnicities? She certainly didn’t honor them or hold any sort of cultural context within the story she chose to write. 

Do you want to know what happens in this book? Read the synopsis and then the final 10% for the lack of resolution or accountability from every single person involved in this shit show. Nothing else happens other than one self-righteous fight and one bit of drama at an event. the ONLY bit of additional drama that occurs at the single defined event of the entire book. 

If you want fanfiction of AD and Clay from Love Is Blind: here it is. The “I can fix him” and the “She’ll stand by me no matter what harm I do to her” thinking they can successfully have a marriage between them. 

This book was entirely one-note and the ending wasn’t the end of anything or an ending marked by change or growth or accountability or even fucking acknowledgment of inciting events. The plot holes were jarring and entirely unforgivable and every side character was interchangeable with eachother. Petty points off for the chapter titles being huge spoilers as well. 

The only compliment I can give is that it was an accurate representation of a shithead man but I already knew PLENTY about that from dropping my own last year. Beat for beat they had similar thoughts and excuses. The audiobook narrator did well wresting and differentiating all of the different one note characters and their accents. The content was truly enraging but her job was very well done.  

In the Q&A between the voice actor/narrator and the author I found the jokes about cancelling *them* over tiny things to be wildly tone deaf. Do you truly think a self deprecating joke about your own work is equivalent to date rape/kidnapping/assault/ coercion/etc etc etc etc listed in your own fucking book? Now who’s trivializing things? The lack of proper content warnings is abhorrent considering the thing I’ve chosen to spoiler over below. 

Maybe it’s cold but the only thing I was rooting for was

for michael’s suicide attempt to have been successful. It really would’ve saved everyone the hassle of knowing him and dealing with his bullshit. He couldn’t even off himself correctly and then couldn’t even take accountability for the fact that he even attempted it??? Mans can dodge every single thing in his life including cars I guess. I wanted to hit him again hearing that. 

Also why the fuck did he wake up with a feeding tube. That makes no sense. the science in this book sucked shit too but now I truly am being petty.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Car accident, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Alcoholism, Misogyny, Sexual content, Stalking, Gaslighting, Self harm, Injury/Injury detail, Blood, Cursing, Addiction, Physical abuse, Sexism, Violence, Classism, Medical content, Infidelity, Suicidal thoughts, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Suicide, Outing, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, and Suicide attempt

Moderate: Biphobia

Minor: Vomit and Kidnapping

me_alley's review against another edition

funny reflective fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I understand why reviews are scattered of this book. On one hand, it centers the male experience in being accused of sexual assault, physical assault, etc. On the other hand, it also clearly has an open attitude towards feminism, inclusivity, and the black African-American experience.   

People (mostly men) are accused every single day of assault and impropriety, some of these accusations are valid, or not. There are examples in the story of both valid accusations and false accusations.  Some valid accusations that created accountability and some that didn’t.   The story has other examples of accusations that — while false — are rooted in another harm that has been done to a person. It examines how technology and the Internet have the power to create trauma and accountability. 

We kind of want it to be one of the other, don’t we? 

We either want to bemoan cancel culture and immediately assume the accusations are false… Or we want to “believe women” and immediately assume the accusations are true.  

This is why the reviews of this book are mixed.  It’s hard to come to terms with.   

Then again, that’s what makes a great story. That’s what makes us all more empathetic. To allow us to step into the shoes of someone with a different life experience than we have. That’s why readers of fiction become more empathetic people. Because they step into the shoes of someone with different life experiences. Allows us to examine the window through which we see the world, and consider that others are looking out of a different window.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Bullying, Sexism, and Suicide

Moderate: Misogyny, Homophobia, Gaslighting, Outing, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Pedophilia, and Infidelity

nanirump's review against another edition

challenging informative reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

This was an intriguing premise for a book and it wasn't difficult to read but did I like any of the characters? No. Did I sympathise with them? Mostly no. Michael was still an asshole, it's hard to know why Ola liked him but Ola was quite vapid herself. Sadly, nothing really landed with me or packed a punch. I don't even really see the point the author was trying to make. Are we defending men for the small percentage where allegations are false? Are we excusing another man's actions because his girlfriend cheated on him? I kind of liked the twist at the end and liked that it resolved but it could have also not given us a definitive answer and for once, I would have been ok with it. Like, why are we focusing on the very few falsely accused? This book just made me dislike men even more. 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Rape, Sexism, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Cultural appropriation, Death, Domestic abuse, Homophobia, Suicide, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, and Drug use