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maizie's review
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
3.0
sorry for accidentally getting blood on this library copy
ursulamonarch's review
I found this book fascinating in a number of ways and impossible and inappropriate to rate. I've read a number of memoirs about death by people who are dying, but fewer by their caregivers and survivors. The author confronts a number of questions and issues that may be even more difficult than impending death, which is at least known to everyone - what could he have done differently, and it would it have been better? These questions are posed thoughtfully and not melodramatically. Layering on top of that the element of Sontag herself and her writings on illness, as well as all of the information specifically about MDS, I would recommend the book, although it will be a difficult read for a lot of reasons for many people.
Scientifically, I find it fascinating to see how far a lot of cancer treatment has come - while the MDS prognosis is still bad, this 2008 book comments re: Sontag's first cancer: "and the immunological component is no longer as accepted as it would become in the years immediately after my mother received it - another magic bullet in the quest to cure cancer that did not live up to its early promise."
Scientifically, I find it fascinating to see how far a lot of cancer treatment has come - while the MDS prognosis is still bad, this 2008 book comments re: Sontag's first cancer: "and the immunological component is no longer as accepted as it would become in the years immediately after my mother received it - another magic bullet in the quest to cure cancer that did not live up to its early promise."
sew's review
3.0
Those looking for deeper insight into Sontag's life won't find it here. This book is mostly about Rieff trying to come to terms with his mother's death and his guilt over his inability to help her more in her last weeks and days. Rieff mostly fails to resolve these feelings of guilt, and thus the book meanders through Sontag's illness, from her diagnosis to her death, returning again and again to the same painful topics: Sontag's intense fear of death and Rieff's concern over telling her the truth about her illness.
Rieff (taking his mother's stance on the issue) rejects the use of war as a metaphor in the discussion of disease while simultaneously painting a picture of his mother's illness with that inevitable terminology, frequently referring to the days following her death as "the aftermath" and to himself as a "survivor". Other contradictions and inconsistencies abound, but perhaps that is to be expected when writing about such sensitive material.
At the end the only conclusion that one can reach is that there is no coming to terms with death, either for the dying or for those surrounding and supporting them.
Rieff (taking his mother's stance on the issue) rejects the use of war as a metaphor in the discussion of disease while simultaneously painting a picture of his mother's illness with that inevitable terminology, frequently referring to the days following her death as "the aftermath" and to himself as a "survivor". Other contradictions and inconsistencies abound, but perhaps that is to be expected when writing about such sensitive material.
At the end the only conclusion that one can reach is that there is no coming to terms with death, either for the dying or for those surrounding and supporting them.
janey's review
4.0
This is so hard to read -- more than anything it is a memoir of guilt and anguish, and that it was published four years after Sontag's death makes it that much more sad for me. Time wasn't helping to smooth the sharp edges of Rieff's pain.
I also feel so sad for Sontag, who was constitutionally incapable of accepting a terminal prognosis. Rieff wonders whether this is true for everyone; having attended a number of deaths I can say it is not. But Rieff's experience is one that needed to be told, because it's not the kind that is generally written about despite being as true as any other. I imagine that there are quite a few people who would take solace in this memoir, recognizing their own experience and feeling less alone.
I also feel so sad for Sontag, who was constitutionally incapable of accepting a terminal prognosis. Rieff wonders whether this is true for everyone; having attended a number of deaths I can say it is not. But Rieff's experience is one that needed to be told, because it's not the kind that is generally written about despite being as true as any other. I imagine that there are quite a few people who would take solace in this memoir, recognizing their own experience and feeling less alone.
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