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lelia_t's review
4.0
I know this isn’t the first book about an outer journey and an inner reckoning, but Jenny Diski does it so well. Part travelog about her trip to Antarctica, part investigation of her childhood and her relationship with her parents, especially her mother, the book links these two explorations through Diski’s longing for oblivion - the blank whiteness of Antarctica and the nothingness she felt when she injected dissolved Nembutal in her veins as a young person.
“Troubled” would be a nice way to describe Diski’s childhood. “You had a terrible time,” is how one of her childhood neighbors puts it. Diski’s parents were unstable and emotionally immature and Diski was their only child, mired in their stew of unhappiness. Yet Diski opts for the broader, more forgiving view of her past, acknowledging that her mother did not “have enough insight to be considered responsible for the results of her behavior,” while also describing the vigilance with which she had to monitor the “dark corners'' of her mother’s psyche.
Each narrative path - Diski’s trip to Antarctica and her childhood reminiscences - enlightens the other. Diski discovers in her desire for blankness a zest for the freedom of infinite possibility and learns to appreciate the resilience in her own character that allowed her to surprise everyone by doing well for herself despite her rough start in life.
It’s hard to speak about the book without making it seem obvious and predictable. It’s not. Diski is gifted at combining a matter-of-fact delivery with unexpected insights that surprise and delight her and us.
“Troubled” would be a nice way to describe Diski’s childhood. “You had a terrible time,” is how one of her childhood neighbors puts it. Diski’s parents were unstable and emotionally immature and Diski was their only child, mired in their stew of unhappiness. Yet Diski opts for the broader, more forgiving view of her past, acknowledging that her mother did not “have enough insight to be considered responsible for the results of her behavior,” while also describing the vigilance with which she had to monitor the “dark corners'' of her mother’s psyche.
Each narrative path - Diski’s trip to Antarctica and her childhood reminiscences - enlightens the other. Diski discovers in her desire for blankness a zest for the freedom of infinite possibility and learns to appreciate the resilience in her own character that allowed her to surprise everyone by doing well for herself despite her rough start in life.
It’s hard to speak about the book without making it seem obvious and predictable. It’s not. Diski is gifted at combining a matter-of-fact delivery with unexpected insights that surprise and delight her and us.
pattricejones's review against another edition
5.0
Brilliant. Insightful. I almost skipped this, although I love Diski's other travelogue and her essays in LRB, because I'm not particularly interested in Antarctica. Or skating. But this isn't about that. Antarctica is there and very vividly described—the icebergs especially—but this unsentimental memoir is about very much more. Read it knowing that you are about to learn what it feels like to be someone who was violated by her mother and that, if your basic trust was not undermined in that way, imagining your way into Diski's mental space will be as much of an expedition as her voyage into the land of the penguins. Approach the book as she did the penguins, knowing that this is a being who may perceive the world in a manner fundamentally different, although exactly the same, as your own.
blackcatlouise's review
dark
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
I absolutely loved this author's prose, it was so elegant and almost poetic at times. In this memoir we have 2 storylines; one of her cruise to Antarctica in search of endless white oblivion, and one of her early childhood and dysfunctional family life. I loved her observations on the cruise and how she connected them to her early life. This had a touch of the Misery Memoir about it which is not a favourite genre of mine but overall a good read .
foggy_rosamund's review
4.0
This memoir follows Diski's journey to Antarctica, and describes her childhood with her dysfunctional family. I love Diski's narrative voice: spare, wry, bitter, she captures a range of feelings I rarely see expressed. She is a reluctant traveller, unimpressed by both the people she meets on the ship to Antarctica, and by much of the scenery. She is happiest alone in her cabin, enjoying the sight of sea, grey skies, and the occasional iceberg. Her descriptions of her childhood are similarly detached: her parents were deeply dysfunctional, abusing her both emotionally and physically, constantly living beyond their means, and both repeatedly attempting suicide. Diski describes her experiences with a chilling lack of self-pity, but a detachment and understanding that renders her accounts insightful and imaginative. Reading Diski is both a journey into the dark places of the mind, and also a refreshing look at modern life and social norms. I enjoy her work and particularly recommend this book.
rumaho76's review
adventurous
challenging
dark
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
A memoir and a travelogue about Antarctica. Jenny Diski writes her usual humorous and beautiful prose about the pain of her early life and how being cocooned by whiteness calms her.
qwends's review
dark
medium-paced
2.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse
Moderate: Suicide attempt
veelaughtland's review
3.0
This was my first experience of Jenny Diski's writing, and I have to say I'm a fan. Whilst I'm not sure that this book was the best one to start with in terms of subject matter, I'm excited to explore more of her work as her writing style is really excellent. I enjoyed learning about her childhood and the relationship with her parents, particularly her mother - I knew pretty much nothing about her or her life going into this book, and was surprised by how dramatic and messed up her child and teen years were. The sections relating her travels to Antarctica were not so interesting to me sadly. I didn't really have much interest in the stories about former explorers in Antarctica, the Falklands, or the fellow passengers she met. However, what did enchant me were her descriptions of the landscape and her travels on the boat, along with her desire to be alone in that unending white place and to feel separate from the world. It was both morose and beautiful at the same time. So I'm glad I read this, and I'll need to research what Diski book is right for me as my second venture into her body of work.