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sevseverance's review against another edition
4.0
I started reading this in February, and the library loan expired. I apparently also had purchased it on audible in 2018 before canceling my account. I ended up mostly listening to this book as I drove from a conference. (So the highlights are all from the beginning).
This was an interesting read about negotiating… but also sort of about manipulation. Reflecting on how to communicate with people to get information, but also to get what you want.
This book emphasized listening and questioning. I feel like I always over share. In a sense this book also helped me think about how to avoid being manipulated. The concept of trying to make the other person say no is relevant. If you can get a no, then you can get to what they actually want to do. Lots of budget discussions coming at work- I admit I listened to this with that in mind. I don’t have many underlines because
I mostly listened- but some from the beginning below.
looking back at these quotes so much
Of the book is just manipulation. As negotiation, not necessarily with hostages, is something that happens in everyday life-
I appreciated reading it and seeing a different perspective.
“"It all starts with the universally applicable premise that people want to be understood and accepted. Listening is the cheapest, yet most effective concession we can make to get there." (Chris Voss and Tahl Raz, Never Split the Difference)
"Effective negotiation is applied people smarts, a psychological edge in every domain of life: how to size someone up, how to influence their sizing up of you, and how to use that knowledge to get what you want." (Chris Voss and Tahl Raz, Never Split the Difference)
"When people are in a positive frame of mind, they think more quickly, and are more likely to collaborate and problem-solve (instead of fight and resist). It applies to the smile-er as much as to the smile-ee: a smile on your face, and in your voice, will increase your own mental agility." (Chris Voss and Tahl Raz, Never Split the Difference)
"Don’t commit to assumptions; instead, view them as hypotheses and use the negotiation to test them rigorously." (Chris Voss and Tahl Raz, Never Split the Difference)
"Remember you’re dealing with a person who wants to be appreciated and understood. So use labels to reinforce and encourage positive perceptions and dynamics." (Chris Voss and Tahl Raz, Never Split the Difference)
This was an interesting read about negotiating… but also sort of about manipulation. Reflecting on how to communicate with people to get information, but also to get what you want.
This book emphasized listening and questioning. I feel like I always over share. In a sense this book also helped me think about how to avoid being manipulated. The concept of trying to make the other person say no is relevant. If you can get a no, then you can get to what they actually want to do. Lots of budget discussions coming at work- I admit I listened to this with that in mind. I don’t have many underlines because
I mostly listened- but some from the beginning below.
looking back at these quotes so much
Of the book is just manipulation. As negotiation, not necessarily with hostages, is something that happens in everyday life-
I appreciated reading it and seeing a different perspective.
“"It all starts with the universally applicable premise that people want to be understood and accepted. Listening is the cheapest, yet most effective concession we can make to get there." (Chris Voss and Tahl Raz, Never Split the Difference)
"Effective negotiation is applied people smarts, a psychological edge in every domain of life: how to size someone up, how to influence their sizing up of you, and how to use that knowledge to get what you want." (Chris Voss and Tahl Raz, Never Split the Difference)
"When people are in a positive frame of mind, they think more quickly, and are more likely to collaborate and problem-solve (instead of fight and resist). It applies to the smile-er as much as to the smile-ee: a smile on your face, and in your voice, will increase your own mental agility." (Chris Voss and Tahl Raz, Never Split the Difference)
"Don’t commit to assumptions; instead, view them as hypotheses and use the negotiation to test them rigorously." (Chris Voss and Tahl Raz, Never Split the Difference)
"Remember you’re dealing with a person who wants to be appreciated and understood. So use labels to reinforce and encourage positive perceptions and dynamics." (Chris Voss and Tahl Raz, Never Split the Difference)
raymanesque's review against another edition
5.0
NSTD is my favorite audiobook of all time. The audible narration was done amazingly, and the book is well paced with a mix of FBI and business examples for each point that it raises. Even aside from whatever usefulness you may glean from it in the art of deal-making, it's an engaging and enjoyable read - so much so that I've gone through it several times. Couldn't recommend enough.
sydneyqamar's review against another edition
5.0
After watching Voss's Masterclass, I was inspired to read Never Split the Difference. The book is equally insightful, blending Voss's hostage-negotiation experiences with case studies from his students. It was reassuring to see that others shared my initial apprehensions yet became successful negotiators by embracing these techniques. 5/5—I'm already trying to implement these strategies in my life.