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mediabaron's review against another edition
4.0
I've enjoyed Joey Soloway's writing in the past with an intro by listening to "Courtney Cox's Asshole" back in the "Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants" days via Susie Bright's stories.
I do need to get around to finishing watching Transparent.
I do need to get around to finishing watching Transparent.
danrue's review against another edition
4.0
This book was empowering and eye opening. I love the way that memoirs let you into the experiences of others and with that, allow you to watch them flourish. Seeing the vibrant and diverse communities come together with people of color, the lgbt community and feminism was empowering. I loved a part of the book where she spoke about parenting expectations because the stark constrast between smacked me across the face. A man whttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37824478-she-wants-it?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=K8x15pGnzq&rank=1#orked full time, had a sitter watch the kids and prepare dinner. He could come home and spend time with the kids, talking and connecting before putting them to bed. This is the image of a good father. If a mother did the same she would be criticized for not picking up her kids, feeding them, for prioritizing work and so on. I am looking forward to watching the series that Jill, a director and writer, created and brought to life and I look forward to the soul she put into them
mandimsadler's review against another edition
3.0
I read this book for an upcoming feminist book club meeting, and finished it in a weekend. It's definitely interesting. I was engaged in all the moves the story took. It was neat to get a background look into the filming of a majorly successful tv show. While this book was good, light, and probably great for a book club, it wasn't my favorite book ever. Worth reading, but not life changing.
ingridboring's review against another edition
4.0
Much better than the other one I just read by Jill Soloway. It is a 'showbiz' memoir and nothing deeper than that, but I didn't really expect it to be more than that. It's honest and well written. I would not read it if you didn't watch and enjoy Transparent mind you, despite the flaws of the show and cast. It has a lot of spoilers for the series so bear that in mind.
chirson's review against another edition
4.0
As a viewer of Transparent and an avid reader of TV women's memoirs (or femoirs), I knew I wanted to read it (yay for branching out into enbymoirs!) and I'm very grateful to NetGalley for making it possible. All opinions are my own, but bear in mind that this is one of the genres I'm most interested in.
I found Soloway's voice engaging and funny, even when their attitude could run towards a little annoying; a problem familiar to readers of celebrity personal journey tales. Soloway seems self-aware and this allows us to read and embrace the difficult, messy subject matter: the mistakes on the way to better. They describe their wrong choices frankly, and this means a narrative that is uncomfortable but valuable. Soloway, for most of their story, doesn't quite cast themself as an authority but rather a traveller on the path towards a more inclusive and fair future, one which has toppled the patriarchy. They are honest about failing when #MeToo happened closer to home, and that's interesting to see, too.
That said, I didn't find the conclusion, where Jill tries to summarise and analyse some parts of their and their family's experience, quite convincing. This is where reviewing a memoir becomes difficult - am I assessing the text or the person behind it? Impossible to separate. But I feel like "She Wants It" could have used a little more distance, a little more hedging. Soloway had lofty goals and made big mistakes in the process of making Transparent; it is still an important piece of art and television history. That said, I don't think their text quite grapples with how the very attitude of "in the family", the familia-lisation of the workplace, contributed to its potential for harm rather than making it safer. Soloway writes in various places lovingly and admiringly about the nine rules they wrote for the show's creative process, and about how boundaries between performers, creators and original family, between Pfeffermanns and Soloways, became porous; how they (Soloway) in particular used the show to work through their identity and their trauma. And then they say they wished the victim of Tambor's harassment had kept it "in the family" (an impulse they never quite disclaim even as they criticise it somewhat). Perhaps it was a family for some of its members more than for others; perhaps it shouldn't have been "a family" in the first place, because that makes the power differential all the greater. There's a scene in the text towards the end where Soloway honestly describes themself as crying in reaction to an employee's accusation (a familiar gesture of weaponising fragility). It's powerful to read, and good that it wasn't left out, but I don't quite feel Soloway writes clearly enough about how damaging that gesture was and what power dynamic it brought with itself.
It was fascinating, messy, problematic, occasionally annoying, honest and artificial at the same time. I couldn't put it down and read it in one sitting.
I found Soloway's voice engaging and funny, even when their attitude could run towards a little annoying; a problem familiar to readers of celebrity personal journey tales. Soloway seems self-aware and this allows us to read and embrace the difficult, messy subject matter: the mistakes on the way to better. They describe their wrong choices frankly, and this means a narrative that is uncomfortable but valuable. Soloway, for most of their story, doesn't quite cast themself as an authority but rather a traveller on the path towards a more inclusive and fair future, one which has toppled the patriarchy. They are honest about failing when #MeToo happened closer to home, and that's interesting to see, too.
That said, I didn't find the conclusion, where Jill tries to summarise and analyse some parts of their and their family's experience, quite convincing. This is where reviewing a memoir becomes difficult - am I assessing the text or the person behind it? Impossible to separate. But I feel like "She Wants It" could have used a little more distance, a little more hedging. Soloway had lofty goals and made big mistakes in the process of making Transparent; it is still an important piece of art and television history. That said, I don't think their text quite grapples with how the very attitude of "in the family", the familia-lisation of the workplace, contributed to its potential for harm rather than making it safer. Soloway writes in various places lovingly and admiringly about the nine rules they wrote for the show's creative process, and about how boundaries between performers, creators and original family, between Pfeffermanns and Soloways, became porous; how they (Soloway) in particular used the show to work through their identity and their trauma. And then they say they wished the victim of Tambor's harassment had kept it "in the family" (an impulse they never quite disclaim even as they criticise it somewhat). Perhaps it was a family for some of its members more than for others; perhaps it shouldn't have been "a family" in the first place, because that makes the power differential all the greater. There's a scene in the text towards the end where Soloway honestly describes themself as crying in reaction to an employee's accusation (a familiar gesture of weaponising fragility). It's powerful to read, and good that it wasn't left out, but I don't quite feel Soloway writes clearly enough about how damaging that gesture was and what power dynamic it brought with itself.
It was fascinating, messy, problematic, occasionally annoying, honest and artificial at the same time. I couldn't put it down and read it in one sitting.
blueskygreentreesyellowsun's review against another edition
3.0
I liked the book a lot, however there were two problems that I had with it: First, the skipping back and forth in time was sometimes confusing. I understand that that's often how life feels, that as you go through something you look back and say, "Oh, the seeds of this were actually planted years ago, how did I not notice them growing quietly into this thing?" All the same, it sometimes left me confused about when exactly these events took place, or how much time had elapsed between events (often, much more than I realized). More clarity on that front would have helped me.
Second, there was very little clarity about what was going on when the author moved from a hetero identity to a lesbian identity. We have the author living a cis female life in a hetero marriage, and then the author is at a lesbian bowling event and falling in love with a woman. I mean, why was the author there? Was there already self-recognition of their lesbianism, was this a hetero-married cis woman invading an LGBTQ space for shits and giggles, or was this somehow research for the series that the author was writing? It is not clear. After this section the author explains that since their parent came out as trans, their own problems with being femme and female had started to bubble up, but what does that mean? It's a toss-away, an interesting aside that I think is supposed to explain but fails. This issue of the author's move from identifying as straight to identifying as gay is simultaneously a small thing and a big thing. Small because the rest of the book still made sense and was good to read, but big because this is a beat change, a moment after which all becomes different, and it's not fully clear to the reader how we got here.
A final note: this book talks very little about the author's parent who is trans. To be fair this book is not her story, it's the author's story.
Second, there was very little clarity about what was going on when the author moved from a hetero identity to a lesbian identity. We have the author living a cis female life in a hetero marriage, and then the author is at a lesbian bowling event and falling in love with a woman. I mean, why was the author there? Was there already self-recognition of their lesbianism, was this a hetero-married cis woman invading an LGBTQ space for shits and giggles, or was this somehow research for the series that the author was writing? It is not clear. After this section the author explains that since their parent came out as trans, their own problems with being femme and female had started to bubble up, but what does that mean? It's a toss-away, an interesting aside that I think is supposed to explain but fails. This issue of the author's move from identifying as straight to identifying as gay is simultaneously a small thing and a big thing. Small because the rest of the book still made sense and was good to read, but big because this is a beat change, a moment after which all becomes different, and it's not fully clear to the reader how we got here.
A final note: this book talks very little about the author's parent who is trans. To be fair this book is not her story, it's the author's story.