Scan barcode
blatdriver's review
4.0
This was a 80's movie sci-fi, gory, and ridiculous fun time.
It is like Sharknado crossed with Jason X.
It is like Sharknado crossed with Jason X.
vikingwolf's review
2.0
The predictions that the world could end due to the raging fires and pollution killing the planet are about to come true. Globo Corps have been preparing a spacecraft to transport people of importance and those with money to a new start on another planet.When the company used suction pumps to fill The Redeemer's water tanks from the gulf of Mexico, it also sucked up a variety of live sharks who are now trapped on the ship. Also on the ship are a group of religious extremists who believe that everyone was meant to die on Earth in God's Plan and now they are planning to release the sharks into the ship itself to kill everyone. Only footballer Ram, on the ship by accident, can stop the terrorists and the sharks.
OK the first thing to tell anyone reading this review is that this is very much a b movie creature feature that is not to be taken seriously. I read and enjoyed another book by the author, the amusing and entertaining 'T-Rex' which is about a dinosaur rampage on the island where a porn movie is being filmed. I was certainly interested to see what he did with sharks in space. As long as you go into this expecting it to be cheesy fun rather than a literary masterpiece, you might well get a few hours of daft entertainment to enjoy.
Ram is on the streets with everyone else when the acid rain is falling, and is entrusted with looking after the daughter of a dying General, which gains him a place on The Redeemer by default. By the time the furious men in charge realise the switch, it is too late to turn back, but plans are made to kill Ram when they arrive at their destination. What the people on board don't know is that they were selected based on bloodline and attractiveness as well as how rich they were, so that a new race of people can be bred from the woman. Ram's unwanted ethnic blood is not what is wanted for this master race. However, before Ram can do anything about this, the religious extremists start to kill passengers and then release the sharks.
Ram is well aware who these terrorists are, as he has dealt with them before. His life changed forever during the Superbowl when a leader of the terrorist group went onto the pitch ready to become a suicide bomber. Ram saved countless lives by killing the terrorist, but now his brother is on board with the whole group, and finding out that Ram is there is an extra incentive for them to create mayhem. When they release the sharks into the water system, the sharks are already mutating in the chemical laced tanks and they are infecting some of the humans that they are able to attack. Now with the ship flooding, the only way off the ship are the escape pods but getting to them is a whole other problem.
The one thing that really bugged me in the book was the robot cyborg thing that was activated to lead a group of survivors to the escape pods. I liked the idea in theory but it was programmed to come out with all these stupid and supposedly funny comments as satire instead of just telling everyone what to do. It drove me totally crazy as I found it unfunny, irritating and frankly I wanted to punch the bloody thing to get it to just shut up. The rest of the book was over the top but amusing enough for a quick read. It's not one I'd read again though as there are better books in the genre but it had a few decent shark moments.
2.5 stars.
OK the first thing to tell anyone reading this review is that this is very much a b movie creature feature that is not to be taken seriously. I read and enjoyed another book by the author, the amusing and entertaining 'T-Rex' which is about a dinosaur rampage on the island where a porn movie is being filmed. I was certainly interested to see what he did with sharks in space. As long as you go into this expecting it to be cheesy fun rather than a literary masterpiece, you might well get a few hours of daft entertainment to enjoy.
Ram is on the streets with everyone else when the acid rain is falling, and is entrusted with looking after the daughter of a dying General, which gains him a place on The Redeemer by default. By the time the furious men in charge realise the switch, it is too late to turn back, but plans are made to kill Ram when they arrive at their destination. What the people on board don't know is that they were selected based on bloodline and attractiveness as well as how rich they were, so that a new race of people can be bred from the woman. Ram's unwanted ethnic blood is not what is wanted for this master race. However, before Ram can do anything about this, the religious extremists start to kill passengers and then release the sharks.
Ram is well aware who these terrorists are, as he has dealt with them before. His life changed forever during the Superbowl when a leader of the terrorist group went onto the pitch ready to become a suicide bomber. Ram saved countless lives by killing the terrorist, but now his brother is on board with the whole group, and finding out that Ram is there is an extra incentive for them to create mayhem. When they release the sharks into the water system, the sharks are already mutating in the chemical laced tanks and they are infecting some of the humans that they are able to attack. Now with the ship flooding, the only way off the ship are the escape pods but getting to them is a whole other problem.
The one thing that really bugged me in the book was the robot cyborg thing that was activated to lead a group of survivors to the escape pods. I liked the idea in theory but it was programmed to come out with all these stupid and supposedly funny comments as satire instead of just telling everyone what to do. It drove me totally crazy as I found it unfunny, irritating and frankly I wanted to punch the bloody thing to get it to just shut up. The rest of the book was over the top but amusing enough for a quick read. It's not one I'd read again though as there are better books in the genre but it had a few decent shark moments.
2.5 stars.
villyidol's review
3.0
Yes, you've read that right.
This story begins with the world's end. Ram Rogan, former quarterback of the St. Louis Rams (naturally) wakes up to burning air and acid rain. All around people are melting. Not Ram, though. Because he jumps out of the window of his third story apartment, and right into the pool. He then gets blown out of said pool because of an erupting volcano the whole complex apparently was built upon, and gets saved by some old guy, thanks to the pretty resistent silver blanket he’s carrying. Blanket guy tells him to take care of his daughter and leave for Second Earth with her, before the old man himself melts to, well, nothing, and Ram and Gaby get picked up by some sort of space ship.
They are brought to the Redeemer, a much much much bigger spaceship that's a bit of a cross between a shopping mall and a hotel complex and had been secretly built to get the world’s elite off the planet. Just why exactly the security guards don’t realize that Ram isn’t Gaby’s father remains a mystery. But this is not a book that concerns itself too much with plausibility. If you’re looking for that, take another look at the book’s title. Just sayin‘.
Anyways, at some point someone that is not in dire need of better glasses realizes that Ram is in fact Ram the footballer and not some old and ailing guy (with a blanket), and that means trouble.
The reason for that is pretty obvious. Because as soon as the people in charge find out about the fomer star quarterback’s presence they suspect he'll mate with everyone on board and therefore screw up their carefully calculated composition of the populace. Duh.
That’s not Ram’s only problem though, as a band of religious terrorists somehow managed to get aboard the spaceship, in spite of the apparently thorough security procedures. Oh, and then there are the sharks, of course. But here it all gets a little murky and the book loses some points in the I totally believe this could actually happen department. But, details. Amiright?!
What else? There are not only sharks, but also barracudas, squid, crabs, carps and whatnot aboard the ship. Because, reasons. And then some quite ridicilous mutations happen, because … well, it’s more fun that way.
And then things get pretty messy.
Honestly, I had a lot of fun with this book. It’s not exactly high literature, in spite of everything I‘ve described above. No, it’s gory, cheesy, ridiculous fun. And it’s funny too. Though most of that stems from how outrageous it all is, rather than from actual humorous dialogue or situations. And also that it doesn’t take itself serious at any point. Which is a good thing.
You should know, though, that you’ll need a strong stomach. For the laughs, of course, but also because of the huge amount of gore. It’s not a book for the faint of heart. But if you want to give your brain a little break and you think you might enjoy some creature feature that doesn’t take itself too serious, than this just might be the book for you.
So what about the rating? I’ve changed it a couple of times already between three and four stars. I just can’t seem to decide. The book does what it sets out to do pretty well and I had several good laughs. However, there are a few stretches when it seemed the author was running out of ideas a bit. But then again, it never got boring and always kept moving at a pleasantly fast clip.
Yeah, I really don’t know. It’s quite simply 3.5 stars for me.
There you have ‘em:
********
Pre-review musings:
Space
...
Sharks
Those two simply belong together.
Well, it certainly delivered on its premise.
Why isn't this a Syfy movie?
3.5 stars
This story begins with the world's end. Ram Rogan, former quarterback of the St. Louis Rams (naturally) wakes up to burning air and acid rain. All around people are melting. Not Ram, though. Because he jumps out of the window of his third story apartment, and right into the pool. He then gets blown out of said pool because of an erupting volcano the whole complex apparently was built upon, and gets saved by some old guy, thanks to the pretty resistent silver blanket he’s carrying. Blanket guy tells him to take care of his daughter and leave for Second Earth with her, before the old man himself melts to, well, nothing, and Ram and Gaby get picked up by some sort of space ship.
They are brought to the Redeemer, a much much much bigger spaceship that's a bit of a cross between a shopping mall and a hotel complex and had been secretly built to get the world’s elite off the planet. Just why exactly the security guards don’t realize that Ram isn’t Gaby’s father remains a mystery. But this is not a book that concerns itself too much with plausibility. If you’re looking for that, take another look at the book’s title. Just sayin‘.
Anyways, at some point someone that is not in dire need of better glasses realizes that Ram is in fact Ram the footballer and not some old and ailing guy (with a blanket), and that means trouble.
The reason for that is pretty obvious. Because as soon as the people in charge find out about the fomer star quarterback’s presence they suspect he'll mate with everyone on board and therefore screw up their carefully calculated composition of the populace. Duh.
That’s not Ram’s only problem though, as a band of religious terrorists somehow managed to get aboard the spaceship, in spite of the apparently thorough security procedures. Oh, and then there are the sharks, of course. But here it all gets a little murky and the book loses some points in the I totally believe this could actually happen department. But, details. Amiright?!
What else? There are not only sharks, but also barracudas, squid, crabs, carps and whatnot aboard the ship. Because, reasons. And then some quite ridicilous mutations happen, because … well, it’s more fun that way.
And then things get pretty messy.
Honestly, I had a lot of fun with this book. It’s not exactly high literature, in spite of everything I‘ve described above. No, it’s gory, cheesy, ridiculous fun. And it’s funny too. Though most of that stems from how outrageous it all is, rather than from actual humorous dialogue or situations. And also that it doesn’t take itself serious at any point. Which is a good thing.
You should know, though, that you’ll need a strong stomach. For the laughs, of course, but also because of the huge amount of gore. It’s not a book for the faint of heart. But if you want to give your brain a little break and you think you might enjoy some creature feature that doesn’t take itself too serious, than this just might be the book for you.
So what about the rating? I’ve changed it a couple of times already between three and four stars. I just can’t seem to decide. The book does what it sets out to do pretty well and I had several good laughs. However, there are a few stretches when it seemed the author was running out of ideas a bit. But then again, it never got boring and always kept moving at a pleasantly fast clip.
Yeah, I really don’t know. It’s quite simply 3.5 stars for me.
There you have ‘em:
********
Pre-review musings:
Space
...
Sharks
Those two simply belong together.
Well, it certainly delivered on its premise.
Why isn't this a Syfy movie?
3.5 stars
More...