Reviews with content warning for Death of parent - Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory

What I liked:
•the discussion of death practices in various cultures
•the authors personal musings on how best to manage the image and processing of death

What I didn’t like:
•chapters feel a bit disjointed in their themes
•the repeated use of race as a descriptor for ONLY non-white people when it is irrelevant to the narrative of the story being told
•pretty gross anti-fat comments, primarily in one particular section where she talks about her coworker declaring that despite the medical examiners determination to the contrary, the person MUST have died of a heart attack from being so fat and “This is why you can’t be fat!”- in addition to describing in great detail how fat bodies smell worse, but then dismissing the coworkers comments as “just fact” (even though he is literally ignoring fact by assuming the mans cause of death is not the one determined by the examiners professional assessment)
• in the same scene as above, repeatedly bringing up how her coworkers continually mistakenly say the person is Mexican, despite him being Salvadoran
•irrelevant added story where a coworker says they should fire bomb the city of San Francisco because it is a “hell pit”

Content Warnings

rhi_reading's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging emotional informative medium-paced

3.5

A frank and honest look at the death industry in the US, this book is a Frankenstein’s monster of memoir, manifesto, and general musings on death and mortality that doesn’t shy away from the gory details. If you’ve currently got a newborn baby, I’d recommend skipping the chapter on infant cremation.

I awarded the book 3.5 because while the subject matter was interesting, the prose was a little over-written and quippy for my taste. The author’s breeziness around morbid topics is a key feature of the book that does benefit the text overall, but there are times when she would have benefited from drawing back a little and letting the actual topic at hand speak for itself instead of trying to cram in a pithy observation or half-hearted joke.

Content Warnings

leweylibrary's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark emotional funny informative reflective sad medium-paced

4.75

I really, really want to give this 5 stars solely because of how much I enjoyed it and learned from it that I'm going to think about for a long time to come. But there were just a few parts that didn't age well and read as a bit offensive, so those sat funny with me.

Overall this book is a lot of morbid, informative fun! I feel like it's made me think about death and dying in an entirely different way--I already caught myself while watching the new Hunger Games prequel thinking about the dead bodies of the fallen tributes and how decomposed they must have been lol. It also connected some dots for me about past experiences concerning death. I had always thought I was uncomfortable with the first funeral I ever went to just because it was my first funeral, but I think I really was uncomfortable with the unnatural-ness of that funeral, how my great aunt didn't look like her anymore and she didn't look...dead enough to be dead.

I really want an updated version of this book--surely there are more "green" burial options now 10 years later? I also went ahead and put holds on all of the author's other books. Not only do I love the subject matter she focuses on, but I love her writing. She reminds me of Jenny Lawson with how deep and personal she can get but then also crack a weird, inappropriate joke in the next breath lol.

Content Warnings

ju_harue's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark emotional informative reflective fast-paced

5.0

Content Warnings

weelasswithabook's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark emotional hopeful informative sad medium-paced

4.5

CW: graphic descriptions of death, decomposition, body preparation, mentions of baby death and loss, cannibalism, suicide

🌟 Non Fiction
🌟 Popular Science/Autobiographical

This was an interesting read. At surface level, it's a book filled with insights and tidbits of information regarding the life of a crematorium worker. At it's heart, it explores the reckoning of coming to terms with your own mortality and making a difference moving forwards.

Featuring rather gruesome descriptions of death, the decomposition process and pre-burial/cremation preparations, I'd approach with caution if you have a weak stomach. There's also something triggering about the emotionally detached discussions around disposal of infant remains (although not don't callously, it did deeply affect me in a certain way), but it's relevant to the book itself.

One thing that jumped out to me and changed my perceptions was CDs lack of judgement. Exploring different cultures post mortem processes, there was no criticisms there, only the acceptance that something that seems so abstract and gruesome to us is part of someone's sacred culture. For example, tribal rituals where cannibalism is involved. Most people would recoil instantly, buy Doughty discusses these rituals with respect and emphasising how this is simply a different cultures practise and how to them, our ideals of cremation and/or preserving corpses would be looked down upon. So I really appreciated that aspect of it.

Content Warnings

More...