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natnurdock's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Suicide, Grief, Suicidal thoughts, Mental illness, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Racism
rowanrelph's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
mysterious
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Abandonment, Death, Suicidal thoughts, Injury/Injury detail, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Blood, Death of parent, Grief, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
roche8400's review against another edition
challenging
dark
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Death of parent, Suicide, and Suicidal thoughts
jordynkw's review
adventurous
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Death of parent, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, and Suicide
stephanieswilley's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.75
Content Warnings
Moderate: Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Abandonment, Injury/Injury detail, Death of parent, Racism, Blood, Death, Suicide attempt, and Mental illness
saleen's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts and Suicide
talonsontypewriters's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Death, and Death of parent
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Xenophobia, Suicide attempt, Abandonment, Racism, Suicide, Mental illness, and Medical content
Minor: Alcohol, Pregnancy, Sexual content, Ableism, and Incest
regent_ace's review
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
A beautiful book that weaves tragedy, culture, and complex relationships into a singular great story. The writing was wonderful and I loved the detail used to describe everything especially the color related descriptions.The characters were very human, they were lovable but also flawed. The happy scenes with Leigh's family before the incident were especially heart wrenching. I appreciate the realistic approach to mental illness and suicide, it doesn't try to pin the blame on anyone or anything. The exploration of identity and culture Leigh goes through as half asian was really well done and I found it very relatable.I loved this book in every way !
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Grief, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, and Mental illness
nofy's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide, Mental illness, Grief, Suicidal thoughts, and Suicide attempt
nannahnannah's review against another edition
1.0
⚠ Be careful reading this if you're depressed! I did, and I had to call a hotline. There are extremely >needless< graphic descriptions of suicide and suicide ideation that can trigger you. Be careful & stay safe! ⚠
It's funny how sometimes you can tell when a piece of media about a marginalized group was meant for that marginalized group to consume or … to be for people completely alienated from that group to ogle at them.
This book fits into this category.
I've been trying to find out if Emily X.R. Pan has any personal experience with depression, but I can't find any information. This is important, because you need to understand who you're writing for. Did she consider there would be any depressed people in her reading audience? According to Mental Health America, 12.63% American young adults in 2019 have major depressive episodes. That may not seem like much, but for every 100 kids, about 13 of them are affected by depression.
What I'm trying to say, is that who are you writing for? This book is about grief, undoubtedly. But it's also about depression, and to isolate depressed readers, a marginalized group, by writing about them like animals in a zoo, rather than for them, is such a bad choice.
Okay, I'm done.
Summary:
After Leigh's mom commits suicide, Leigh believes she has turned into a giant, red bird who urges her on a mission to Taiwan to visit her grandparents for the first time. There, she needs to find her mother, rediscover lost memories, and create a relationship with the grandparents she had always been forbidden to see.
The good:
The main interracial relationship -- that doesn't consist of a poc and a white person! It's always nice to see; most often in media people seem to forget you don't always NEED a white person in a relationship for it to be interracial, lmao.
I loved Leigh's grandparents. Loved them. Their relationships with both Leigh and Leigh's mother were so heart-breaking and lovely. I loved reading about that and couldn't get enough of it.
Unfortunately, this is all I have.
The bad:
The colors. Leigh describes everything she sees as feeling it in color. It took me about 100 pages in to realize she didn't actually have synesthesia, aka someone who experienced her world in color. Instead she's just a hipster art student who pretended she did. It could have been done well, except instead of using regular colors--or even more specific colors--the author used such niche and random, awkward colors nobody would ever know, such as
- quinacridone rose
- gamboge yellow
- diaxozine purple
- pyrazolone orange
- stil de grain brown
- disazo scarlet
- Antwerp blue
- naphthol red
which made the prose, and her character, pretty much insufferable. There are so many colors you could use that can do the job without using this format over and over and over. It was always ___ red or ____ blue, never just amber or lilac or mauve, etc.
The romantic side plot between Leigh and Axel. I know I literally just praised an element of it above, but I felt its entirety was unneeded. This book is huge, and I felt whenever the chapters flashed back to a bit with Axel, it took away from the main conflict.
The plot itself felt very weak. The book is more of a series of flashbacks than it was a story with an actual plot propelling characters forward. There are actually more flashbacks than scenes set in the current storyline. I know it's to get Leigh to realize her family is important and that memories are to remind her to live for today, but it's such a long-winded road to get there.
The ugly:
The representation of mental illness. I've discussed it above (at length), but largely my problem is that depression is like this thing, this illness that Must Not Be Named. It's evil, it's mysterious, and the protagonist and her father never actually talk about it, and it's never de-mystified. This isn't representation, it's a spectacle. And that makes me, a mentally ill person, really upset.
suicide discussion
There's also absolutely NO REASON you should describe suicide and suicidal thoughts in grotesque detail for such long page time!! This is what made me have to stop reading and contact a hot line. I was doing SO WELL, and then I plunged back into suicidal thoughts.The author went into a flashback montage scene describing Leigh's mom thinking about pretty much every time she wanted to commit suicide, in excruciating detail. WHY. This is what I mean about considering your audience! Do you want depressed young adults reading and experiencing this and these thoughts again? I can't believe so many people read and approved this for publication!!
A lot of this book is also very hard to believe. A father leaving his daughter alone with his parents in law for months, alone? Because he has an argument over food, of all things? Just drops her off and leaves her in Taiwan, where she doesn't speak the language of her grandparents, and goes to Hong Kong, and doesn't even check in on her--and doesn't get worried when she doesn't check in with him for months?
It's all too convenient for the story to happen, and I don't buy it.
Things like that happen all throughout the story. I can't get over it.
Anyway, I didn't enjoy the book (I mean ... it made me contact a hotline ...), and I don't understand all the acclaim it has gotten. It makes me so angry, because everyone has loved it, and I just don't understand. How could I have missed it?
It's funny how sometimes you can tell when a piece of media about a marginalized group was meant for that marginalized group to consume or … to be for people completely alienated from that group to ogle at them.
This book fits into this category.
I've been trying to find out if Emily X.R. Pan has any personal experience with depression, but I can't find any information. This is important, because you need to understand who you're writing for. Did she consider there would be any depressed people in her reading audience? According to Mental Health America, 12.63% American young adults in 2019 have major depressive episodes. That may not seem like much, but for every 100 kids, about 13 of them are affected by depression.
What I'm trying to say, is that who are you writing for? This book is about grief, undoubtedly. But it's also about depression, and to isolate depressed readers, a marginalized group, by writing about them like animals in a zoo, rather than for them, is such a bad choice.
Okay, I'm done.
Summary:
After Leigh's mom commits suicide, Leigh believes she has turned into a giant, red bird who urges her on a mission to Taiwan to visit her grandparents for the first time. There, she needs to find her mother, rediscover lost memories, and create a relationship with the grandparents she had always been forbidden to see.
The good:
The main interracial relationship -- that doesn't consist of a poc and a white person! It's always nice to see; most often in media people seem to forget you don't always NEED a white person in a relationship for it to be interracial, lmao.
I loved Leigh's grandparents. Loved them. Their relationships with both Leigh and Leigh's mother were so heart-breaking and lovely. I loved reading about that and couldn't get enough of it.
Unfortunately, this is all I have.
The bad:
The colors. Leigh describes everything she sees as feeling it in color. It took me about 100 pages in to realize she didn't actually have synesthesia, aka someone who experienced her world in color. Instead she's just a hipster art student who pretended she did. It could have been done well, except instead of using regular colors--or even more specific colors--the author used such niche and random, awkward colors nobody would ever know, such as
- quinacridone rose
- gamboge yellow
- diaxozine purple
- pyrazolone orange
- stil de grain brown
- disazo scarlet
- Antwerp blue
- naphthol red
which made the prose, and her character, pretty much insufferable. There are so many colors you could use that can do the job without using this format over and over and over. It was always ___ red or ____ blue, never just amber or lilac or mauve, etc.
The romantic side plot between Leigh and Axel. I know I literally just praised an element of it above, but I felt its entirety was unneeded. This book is huge, and I felt whenever the chapters flashed back to a bit with Axel, it took away from the main conflict.
The plot itself felt very weak. The book is more of a series of flashbacks than it was a story with an actual plot propelling characters forward. There are actually more flashbacks than scenes set in the current storyline. I know it's to get Leigh to realize her family is important and that memories are to remind her to live for today, but it's such a long-winded road to get there.
The ugly:
The representation of mental illness. I've discussed it above (at length), but largely my problem is that depression is like this thing, this illness that Must Not Be Named. It's evil, it's mysterious, and the protagonist and her father never actually talk about it, and it's never de-mystified. This isn't representation, it's a spectacle. And that makes me, a mentally ill person, really upset.
suicide discussion
There's also absolutely NO REASON you should describe suicide and suicidal thoughts in grotesque detail for such long page time!! This is what made me have to stop reading and contact a hot line. I was doing SO WELL, and then I plunged back into suicidal thoughts.
A lot of this book is also very hard to believe. A father leaving his daughter alone with his parents in law for months, alone? Because he has an argument over food, of all things? Just drops her off and leaves her in Taiwan, where she doesn't speak the language of her grandparents, and goes to Hong Kong, and doesn't even check in on her--and doesn't get worried when she doesn't check in with him for months?
It's all too convenient for the story to happen, and I don't buy it.
Things like that happen all throughout the story. I can't get over it.
Anyway, I didn't enjoy the book (I mean ... it made me contact a hotline ...), and I don't understand all the acclaim it has gotten. It makes me so angry, because everyone has loved it, and I just don't understand. How could I have missed it?
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide and Suicidal thoughts